Grouphug

[Seabiscuit36]

God help me, my wife is a screaming nightmare.

I did this to myself. This is now my life.

This made me laugh. Sucker.

Dio?

[Sgt PSN]

when I smoke pot I get instantly horny. My bf gets introspective and doesn't want to have sex. I'm kinda frustrated woth that but I can't tell him
I need a huge cock in my Hoyda

its times like these that make me want to cross over into oncoming traffic.

Is it strange that when I masturbate I have to set the mood? Dim lights, the perfect lotion, some barry white, and hiding in the closet while my sister changes.

[methdeez]

422633570

Fat people are harder to kidnap

[mussa]

this fargin thread


HA

[General_Failure]

In the same vein as grouphug, we have FML.

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Friday is a good day to search random posts on FML:

Today, I went to my new doctor to establish the paperwork. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "what do you do?". I told her I normally did vaginal, but would sometimes do anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

[mussa]

I use that term quite often farg MY LIFE

[Seabiscuit36]

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy iceholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire.

FML..lol

[Father Demon]

I had to look it up, but it definitely fits with that little diddy.

[MDS]

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy iceholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy

something along those lines happened to me

i was interning at a paper and the first week or so i was there my editor was for some reason google searching for how to spell johnny-come-lately or some term like that, and wanted to know which form of "come" to use, so he google searched for cum and of course all these porn sites and money shot pics came up. so that was appropriate.

[Yeti]

I lost my virginity to a nasty fat chick, I regret it....but sometimes at night I think about me penetrating her and jack off and when im finished I regret it again

[reese125]

I second that...and the girl was a friggin beef truck but I loved every minute of it..no regrets here

[mussa]

reese is a chubby chaser

[reese125]

love that name

I was the horniest cat when I was 16 I could of cared less what the chick looked like. As long as she wasnt cross-eyed so she could see my man going into her mouth I was in there

[phattymatty]

from textsfromlastnight.com


(484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of Romes." I love this fargin town.