the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

[Geowhizzer]

If you save money by doing it yourself and you know it's going to be relatively painless in terms of stress, then do it.

Personally, as a money-loving capitalistic whoremonger, I'd buy a new one and toss the other one to the curb.

Or the time-honored Florida tradition:  sell it for $20 at a yard sale. 

[Zanshin]

Yeah, but one way or another I need a working mower.  Because despite Dio's yuppie proclamation, I'm still the only guy on my street who mows his own grass.  I'm both cheap and looking for excuses to squeeze in some more physical activity...which is one of the reasons I go for the more manual mowers.

[mussa]

if its a piece of shtein on its last leg forget it...if not fix that bitch yourself. i ripped the cord on an outboard boat motor before with my retard strength. was not fun fixing it and re-setting the spring. basically a 3 person job. 2 grown men holding the spring while the other set the new cord back. have fun with thaT!

[Rome]

If you save money by doing it yourself and you know it's going to be relatively painless in terms of stress, then do it.

Personally, as a money-loving capitalistic whoremonger, I'd buy a new one and toss the other one to the curb.

Or the time-honored Florida tradition:  sell it for $20 at a yard sale. 

I was wheeling out an old washer to the curb a few weeks ago and I hadn't even gotten it to the sidewalk before some dude in a Fred Sanford pickup came by and took it off my hands.  He literally wheeled the dolly over to his truck, got up, pulled the washer onto it, and handed the cart back to me.

I'd bet ten bucks he took it back to his workshop, fixed whatever was wrong with it and sold it for a decent profit.

Good for him, too.   

[SD_Eagle5]

There are a lot of easy ways to determine whether or not you should buy a new mower, personally I use the VORM system (value over replacement mower)

[NGM]

There are a lot of easy ways to determine whether or not you should buy a new mower, personally I use the VORM system (value over replacement mower)

Funny freakin guy over here.

Also if you decide to get a new mower, go with a John Deere.  My pops has both a push and riding John Deere mower for almost 15 years and hasn't had any problems with either the whole time.   

[SD_Eagle5]

There are a lot of easy ways to determine whether or not you should buy a new mower, personally I use the VORM system (value over replacement mower)

Funny freakin guy over here.

I can't help it

Forgot to mention, went back to Mattress Giant to pick out a new bed lastnight, went with the queen-sized Kingsdown Cloud pillow top. They said the spring air I bought was defective which is the reason they gave me a $2000 credit . Wanted to go with a king but we already have a nice queen-size frame, headboard, and footboard and all the crap to go with it. Moral of the story: if you buy a new bed and you aren't comfortable on it after the first 2 weeks don't think it will get better, contact customer service and get a new one.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

I had an old mower that had a relatively minor repair needed.  I sold it "as is" on craigslist and bought a brand new Husqvarna with a 8.75 torque rating.  Finally, I can actually run the thing through this North Carolina fescue at more than a snail's pace.

[hunt]

guy eats disgusting food & gives his reviews:

http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/cat_steve_dont_eat_it.php

[Beggin' Strips are bacon-shaped, bacon-flavored treats for dogs. In the commercial a dog runs around the house like a maniac shouting BACON, BACON, BACON, BACON, BACON! It's weird, because I do the exact same thing.

Beggin' Strips slogan is "Dog's don't know it's not bacon!" Newsflash: Dogs are retarded. Mine used to eat his own vomit, and wag his tail while he did it. I'll be the one to decide if this stuff tastes like bacon or not.

I know these snacks aren't made for human consumption, but while I was in the store the ingredients list looked pretty tame so I wasn't too concerned. Somehow I had missed one extremely dubious word sitting there all by itself. "MEAT". That's all it says... meat.

Meat is a pretty large umbrella. Beef is meat. Pork is meat. Horses, monkeys, and allegedly Arby's roast beef are meat. Even Rosie O'Donnell's ball sack is meat. Okay, maybe I've gone too far. I have no idea what that is they are serving at Arby's, but you get my point.

Alas, there is no turning back now. Despite the fact that I am a grown man with children, I'm off to go eat dog food. And what better way to have Beggin' Strips than in a Beggin', Lettuce, and Tomato Sammich!

I'm back. And I'm sad to report that I did not run around the house yelling "Bacon!" I did, however, run around the house yelling "Call 911!"

GodDAMN these are foul. Don't try this at home. I'm not sure it's safe, and I am sure your tongue may kill itself.

While they were a little too artificially colored red to pass for real bacon, I was pleased to see they were not all the same shape. Similar to slices of real bacon, they each have their own curvy and shriveled identity. (Just like my aunts and uncles.)

And somehow these Beggin' Strips also managed to smell just like bacon. Oopsie. Typo. I meant to say "the smoky puke of a thousand maniacs."

To put it simply, this is the devil's bacon. Even a healthy dose of bread, mayo, lettuce and tomato couldn't come close to masking the evil. The bitter nastiness literally got worse with every chew, and I was overcome by the urge to go in the backyard and eat grass until it was all out of me.

The following is a message to all dogs who read The Sneeze: First, sit. Sit! Good boy. Now listen to me. Beggin' Strips do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT TASTE LIKE BACON. You are all being played for chumps! Alright, now give me your paw. Okay, roll over! Good boy! Now go take a steamy dump in your master's shoe. Go on! Get!

In closing, the only silver lining to this dark dark cloud is I have figured out why so many dogs lick their own iceholes. They are trying to kill the taste of Beggin' Strips. (By the way, it doesn't work.) /quote]

[Susquehanna Birder]

I had a 12 year old lawn tractor that was basically falling apart. It needed tires, a starter, and a battery...and maybe more. Rather than deal with it (I haven't used it in years), I rolled it to the curb. I think it didn't last more than two hours. I was afraid that several rednecks would get into a fight over that monstrosity.

[Diomedes]

Afraid?  I'd expect you to be hopeful.

[General_Failure]

I made baked potatoes with cheese and bacon stuffed in it today. For breakfast.

[Susquehanna Birder]

Afraid?  I'd expect you to be hopeful.

While it would be entertaining, there is the potential for civil action, since it would have taken place on my property.

I suppose I could have pushed it out into the street...then all bets are off.

[phattymatty]

i saw louis ck at the improv last night.  some topics included:

1) hating his kids
2) flags, not gay people, but annoying people
2) hating deer so much that he would farg a gay dude with AIDS, just to he could then farg the deer and kill it with AIDS
3) how great it is to be white, and that you could go back in time to anytime anywhere and it would always be great

this doesn't do it justice though.  i have never laughed so hard in my life at a stand-up show.  i was crying.

[SunMo]

his HBO special was awesome, i can only imagine how good he was last night