Spiders

[Diomedes]

Some tree huggers try and tell ya that spiders are good, they eat bugs, don't kill em. Farg that. Nothing sucks more than walking into a web you didn't see and freakin out imagining the little critter is on ya somewhere. My common test for bugs, fish, pets, etc, is simple. If they were as big as you are, would they eat you? Spiders would wrap you up and slowly suck the blood from your veins, leading you to a painful, slow, and semi concious end. You must kill it. (BTW, most all dogs pass this test, cats on the other hand do not.)

The sucker you saw in the bedroom is probably not alone. He or she has comer inside to provide a stable environ for hatching eggs, which may number in the hundreds. Right now her appetite is ravenous, and she is probably overly protective and agressive. If she has not tucked her youngins in the far corners of your sheets already, you are lucky. At night she will most likely be drawn to the moist warmth of your breath escaping. Don't be suprised if you open your eyes to find her hovering over you from the ceiling. Just keep your mouth shut while sleeping and you'll be fine.

I nominate this one for post of the year.

[General_Failure]

Finally, competition for the drooling coma smiley post!

[Diomedes]

Finally, competition for the drooling coma smiley post!

Worthy competition, I think.  Do you disagree?

[General_Failure]

This is gonna be the best POTY contest ever!

[Sgt PSN]

Compete with that........IF YOU DARE!

[Diomedes]

This is gonna be the best POTY contest ever!

Nice to see you taking the lead on running this one, Big Brother.  Who says you're anti-social?

[Sgt PSN]

Nice to see you taking the lead on running this one, Big Brother. Who says you're anti-social?

His shrink. 

[General_Failure]

I said best, not "worst contest since NB tried to run a FFL."

[Yeti]

Some tree huggers try and tell ya that spiders are good, they eat bugs, don't kill em. Farg that. Nothing sucks more than walking into a web you didn't see and freakin out imagining the little critter is on ya somewhere. My common test for bugs, fish, pets, etc, is simple. If they were as big as you are, would they eat you? Spiders would wrap you up and slowly suck the blood from your veins, leading you to a painful, slow, and semi concious end. You must kill it. (BTW, most all dogs pass this test, cats on the other hand do not.)

The sucker you saw in the bedroom is probably not alone. He or she has comer inside to provide a stable environ for hatching eggs, which may number in the hundreds. Right now her appetite is ravenous, and she is probably overly protective and agressive. If she has not tucked her youngins in the far corners of your sheets already, you are lucky. At night she will most likely be drawn to the moist warmth of your breath escaping. Don't be suprised if you open your eyes to find her hovering over you from the ceiling. Just keep your mouth shut while sleeping and you'll be fine.

  Jesus.  Like I wasn't worried enough.

[rjs246]

Some tree huggers try and tell ya that spiders are good, they eat bugs, don't kill em. Farg that. Nothing sucks more than walking into a web you didn't see and freakin out imagining the little critter is on ya somewhere. My common test for bugs, fish, pets, etc, is simple. If they were as big as you are, would they eat you? Spiders would wrap you up and slowly suck the blood from your veins, leading you to a painful, slow, and semi concious end. You must kill it. (BTW, most all dogs pass this test, cats on the other hand do not.)

The sucker you saw in the bedroom is probably not alone. He or she has comer inside to provide a stable environ for hatching eggs, which may number in the hundreds. Right now her appetite is ravenous, and she is probably overly protective and agressive. If she has not tucked her youngins in the far corners of your sheets already, you are lucky. At night she will most likely be drawn to the moist warmth of your breath escaping. Don't be suprised if you open your eyes to find her hovering over you from the ceiling. Just keep your mouth shut while sleeping and you'll be fine.

Kick ass.

[Reidme]

Heh, heh. Learned what I know about spiders from horror movies and divorce court. 

[MURP]

link

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German woman laid waste to her family home by setting fire to it as she tried to kill spiders in a garage with a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter.
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Police in the western town of Zuelpich said that when the aerosol failed to finish them off, the 34-year-old woman tried to burn them with the lighter. However, this set the area she had just sprayed on fire and the blaze spread to a hedge.

"It was a series of unfortunate events which led to the damage," a police spokesman said on Thursday.

"She tried to put the fire out with a garden hose, but couldn't. Instead her semi-detached house next to the hedge caught fire. It's now uninhabitable."

Fire-fighters managed to extinguish the blaze and save the neighbouring house, which sustained broken windows and some charring. The spokesman estimated the total cost of the damage at well over 100,000 euros (68,000 pounds). No one was hurt.

"The family have had to look for somewhere else to stay," he said. "The spiders are gone though -- that problem was solved."

[PhillyandBCEagles]

[PhillyPhreak54]

Jesus Christ. That gives me the willies. 

[Sgt PSN]

That pic is really the only good thing to come out of this war.