Spiders

[MURP]

Whatever you do, DON'T step on it or smash it. Wolf spiders carry their egg sacks, and the spiderlings when they're first born. If you step on a new mom- those little spiders go EVERYWHERE!

wow.  Yeti, you are in trouble.   Looks like you need a flame thrower to get this sucka!

[Yeti]

Day 2. 

  I went home and looked in the dark areas of the bedroom.  I think I found Sarges hiding place in the back of the closet.  There was a half eaten cheese sandwich and a Sears catalog turned to the "Boys" section.  I used a broom hoping to flush out the spider.  No luck. 
  Everytime I would start to fall asleep I could feel something moving around.  The wife (I told her about it) said I was feeling things.  I told her I would like to be, she said "Go to sleep."  Just as well.  Kinda hard to be sexy when you are both wearing sweats.  That little bastich is hiding somewhere and now he (she) is cramping my style.

Creepy little farger.
 

[mussa]

i saw a wolf spider...that was almost tarantula size on our deck...acouple years ago...i got a picture of it.  ill try to find it.  i see one of those spiders, especially inside ill kill the sum bitch.  we have spiders on our property that are called garden spiders...they are badass looking...when i was a kid i used to throw large grasshoppers in there webs and watch the spiders go to town on them.   

[Yeti]

Mussa, thats exactly the one that was on me.  I tryed to find a picture of it but I couldn't.

Hey.

You didn't let that thing loose in my house did you?

[MadMarchHare]

Put some rotten meat out to attract flies, then the spiders will leave you alone.

After you collect on Sarge's ex, you should have plenty of rotting meat to go around.

[mussa]

yeti that pic is of a garden spider....not a wolf.  no man i didn't let it loose, but that half-eaten cheese sandwhich is mine i think. 

don't sound to dangerous(but i sure as hell wouldn't want that little farger crawling around my nuts or my womans body)

Black and Yellow Argiope or "Garden Spider / Banana Spider"
A very large common spider in North America. Usually hangs in webs with its head facing the ground. It is brightly                          colored. Its venom is a neurotoxin similar to that of the black widow. However, its venom is not near as potent.                          Its bite causes local pain and redness with blisters forming. This bite usually resolves within 24 hours except for                          the bite mark.

[Yeti]

yeti that pic is of a garden spider....not a wolf. 

  No wonder I couldn't find a picture of it.
Nice work there Jeff Corwin.

[FreakisaKearseWord]

Day 2. 

  I went home and looked in the dark areas of the bedroom.  I think I found Sarges hiding place in the back of the closet.  There was a half eaten cheese sandwich and a Sears catalog turned to the "Boys" section.  I used a broom hoping to flush out the spider.  No luck. 
  Everytime I would start to fall asleep I could feel something moving around.  The wife (I told her about it) said I was feeling things.  I told her I would like to be, she said "Go to sleep."  Just as well.  Kinda hard to be sexy when you are both wearing sweats.  That little bastich is hiding somewhere and now he (she) is cramping my style.

Creepy little farger.
 

Did you also find a plastic nose, a monkey, and a silver glove? 

[mussa]

Day 2. 

  I went home and looked in the dark areas of the bedroom.  I think I found Sarges hiding place in the back of the closet.  There was a half eaten cheese sandwich and a Sears catalog turned to the "Boys" section.  I used a broom hoping to flush out the spider.  No luck. 
  Everytime I would start to fall asleep I could feel something moving around.  The wife (I told her about it) said I was feeling things.  I told her I would like to be, she said "Go to sleep."  Just as well.  Kinda hard to be sexy when you are both wearing sweats.  That little bastich is hiding somewhere and now he (she) is cramping my style.

Creepy little farger.
 

Did you also find a plastic nose, a monkey, and a silver glove with shtein and blood all over it? 

fixed

[FreakisaKearseWord]

Day 2. 

  I went home and looked in the dark areas of the bedroom.  I think I found Sarges hiding place in the back of the closet.  There was a half eaten cheese sandwich and a Sears catalog turned to the "Boys" section.  I used a broom hoping to flush out the spider.  No luck. 
  Everytime I would start to fall asleep I could feel something moving around.  The wife (I told her about it) said I was feeling things.  I told her I would like to be, she said "Go to sleep."  Just as well.  Kinda hard to be sexy when you are both wearing sweats.  That little bastich is hiding somewhere and now he (she) is cramping my style.

Creepy little farger.
 

Did you also find a plastic nose, a monkey, and a silver glove with shtein and blood all over it? 

fixed

Erm...I was referring to the King [ Sha'mona! ], not OJ 

[mussa]

yea so was I...think about it

[FreakisaKearseWord]

 

[Reidme]

Some tree huggers try and tell ya that spiders are good, they eat bugs, don't kill em. Farg that. Nothing sucks more than walking into a web you didn't see and freakin out imagining the little critter is on ya somewhere. My common test for bugs, fish, pets, etc, is simple. If they were as big as you are, would they eat you? Spiders would wrap you up and slowly suck the blood from your veins, leading you to a painful, slow, and semi concious end. You must kill it. (BTW, most all dogs pass this test, cats on the other hand do not.)

The sucker you saw in the bedroom is probably not alone. He or she has comer inside to provide a stable environ for hatching eggs, which may number in the hundreds. Right now her appetite is ravenous, and she is probably overly protective and agressive. If she has not tucked her youngins in the far corners of your sheets already, you are lucky. At night she will most likely be drawn to the moist warmth of your breath escaping. Don't be suprised if you open your eyes to find her hovering over you from the ceiling. Just keep your mouth shut while sleeping and you'll be fine.

[MURP]

Reidme = Stephen King

[Sgt PSN]

Yeah, no shtein.  I'm so totally sleeping in a bubble tonight.