the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

Started by ice grillin you, March 28, 2006, 02:06:37 PM

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Seabiscuit36

#2385
October 12, 2006, 02:04:58 PM
QuotePorn star's name
may ring a 'Bell'


Sex education Dustin (Screech) Diamond will be appearing in a way many of his fans hoped never ever to see him.

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.
Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

"Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."

Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler's Larry Flynt, Vivid's Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He's a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter") on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing 2."

Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom "The Knights of Prosperity."

"I haven't seen the tape," Paul told us. "I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings."

In 1996, former "Saved by the Bell" sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, "Show Girls."

The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell." Ewwwww.
"For all the civic slurs, for all the unsavory things said of the Philadelphia fans, also say this: They could teach loyalty to a dog. Their capacity for pain is without limit." -Bill Lyons

Feva

#2386
October 12, 2006, 05:14:07 PM
<------------- Attention whoring it up today.

"Now I'm completing up the other half of that triangle" - Emmitt Smith on joining Troy Aikman and Michael Irvin in the Hall of Fame

"If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is that considered rape or shoplifting?" -- 2 Live Stews

SunMo

#2387
October 12, 2006, 05:14:47 PM
happy birthday pumpkin
I'm the Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood.

General_Failure

#2388
October 12, 2006, 05:18:22 PM
Pumpkins don't shake like that.

The man. The myth. The legend.

Diomedes

#2389
October 12, 2006, 09:52:04 PM
I like that, after five weeks, when I look at the NFL.com stats page, two of the four pictured players are wearing a Philadelphia Eagles jersey.
There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists." - Yosemite Park Ranger

QB Eagles

#2390
October 12, 2006, 10:30:19 PM
Quote from: Diomedes on October 12, 2006, 09:52:04 PM
I like that, after five weeks, when I look at the NFL.com stats page, two of the four pictured players are wearing a Philadelphia Eagles jersey.

The Eagles also lead the league in total offense.

Diomedes

#2391
October 12, 2006, 10:34:45 PM
Yeah, that's cool and all.  But there's no pic for that.  McNabb and Cole get pics.
There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists." - Yosemite Park Ranger

BigEd76

#2392
October 12, 2006, 11:58:23 PM
Happy 30th, Ronald

PhillyPhreak54

#2393
October 13, 2006, 02:47:14 AM
Happy B-Day, gramps. :yay

Hold it down!

Geowhizzer

#2394
October 13, 2006, 05:50:54 AM
Hope you had a good one, Feva.

rjs246

#2396
October 13, 2006, 09:30:45 AM
You nerds are old.
Is rjs gonna have to choke a bitch?

Let them eat bootstraps.

Seabiscuit36

#2397
October 13, 2006, 03:06:02 PM
"For all the civic slurs, for all the unsavory things said of the Philadelphia fans, also say this: They could teach loyalty to a dog. Their capacity for pain is without limit." -Bill Lyons

General_Failure

#2398
October 13, 2006, 03:40:30 PM

The man. The myth. The legend.

PoopyfaceMcGee

#2399
October 13, 2006, 05:39:17 PM
OK.
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