the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

[Diomedes]

Your girl.  Hahaha!!

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Hot chocolate too hot!  Waaaahhh

Every buttlick that sues when a HOT BEVERAGE is actually HOT should be burned at the stake.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Q: I'm 99 percent positive that Randolph and Mortimer Duke recently wagered $1 that they could turn the funniest, most successful stand-up comic into a disturbed bum on the street and turn a random unfunny guy off the street into the hottest comic in the land with TV specials and a feature film. How else can you explain the fall of Dave Chappelle and the rise of Dane Cook? It is the only answer. Looking good Dane Cook! Feeling good Dave Chappelle!
--DeVito, Washington

SG: There's still a month left in 2006, but that's the E-Mail of the Year so far.

"Trading Places" references are quality, but it was even better in this context.

Q: My buddies and I were talking about appropriate punishments for dictators like Saddam Hussein, and we came up with an idea that works for everyone and could raise money for the International Criminal Court without using tax dollars. Why not charge admission for people to look at convicted dictators in their jail cells, kind of like a zoo for genocidal megalomaniacs? Think about it: you put them in small, basic cells behind plexiglass and charge 25 euros to watch them go about their day. Tourists could get baked at a local coffee shop and head over to the jail to gawk at Slobodan Milosevic sitting on a cot watching "90210" reruns. You could even charge extra to feed them falafel pellets and shawarma biscuits. This would be a far worse fate for a once-proud dictator then being executed. Who wouldn't pay 25 euros to watch Saddam Hussein in his underwear eating Cheetos?
--Kris, Washington

SG: DeVito from Washington, you've been bounced! That's the new Greatest E-mail of 2006. And just for the record, I'd pay 200 euros to see dictators in zoo cages.

[Geowhizzer]

Small point, but it would be hard to watch Milosevic at this point, being dead and all.

[PhillyPhreak54]

Hot chocolate too hot!  Waaaahhh

Every buttlick that sues when a HOT BEVERAGE is actually HOT should be burned at the stake.

Too bad the mom didn't pull out into oncoming traffic and kill herself.

[NGM]

I was in a strip club in Savannah, Georgia last night.  Trinity is the hottest woman I have ever seen and she touched my arm.

Also, an Army Ranger beat the ever living piss out of me Friday night in the same town. 

[rjs246]

Sounds like a lovely weekend.

[MDS]

I won my 3rd superbowl in 3 years in Madden. Shut up, haters.

[hbionic]

I won my 3rd superbowl in 3 years in Madden. Shut up, haters.

I'm managing two teams that I'm in the 6th season doing a fantasy draft. I took over the Eagles this season as they were negative 56 million. My original team was the Colts and I have them at 232 million in the bank with15 million in salary cap space this season.

If I make the Eagles profitable, then the revenue share per team should increase...hopefully. Yes, sometimes, I don't have a life. Alot.

[MDS]

Screw that. I'm winning bowls now and worrying about shtein later. Andy Reid retired, claiming he had too many rings for his hand. So without my doing, Morningweig was promoted to HC. Greg Williams is DC and I just got Brett Favre (ha) to be the OC, both are more qualified than Marty. But, since I don't want to pay Marty's salary for nothing, I'll keep him around. Hopefully he retires.

[Sgt PSN]

Thanksgiving holiday "work" schedule

Wed - 7:30am - Call boss on his cell phone.  Let him know I'm alive.
Thurs - Off
Fri - Off
Sat - Off
Sun - Off
Mon - In the office nlt 1200

So I've got 5.5 days off for turkey day.  Sometimes I love the gubment.  Surrosly. 

[phattymatty]

i have my 10-year HS reunion this weekend.  so gay.  yet for some reason i'm going.

[rjs246]

i have my 10-year HS reunion this weekend. so gay. yet for some reason i'm going.

Same. Nerds.

[Sgt PSN]

Had mine a couple years ago and went.  Had a decent time.  The reunion itself was kind of blah but a bunch of us went out to a strip club down in Philly afterwards and that was fun.  Then again, watching to skanks rub their breastesses on each other is always fun regardless of who's with you. 

[rjs246]

Drug dealers are more creative and inventive than 99% of the planet.

A HOMEMADE submarine? With 3 tons of coke? Awesome.