Drunk Stories

[Yeti]

We all like to drink.  Some more than others, but we all like to drink.  I thought it would be funny to hear some drunk stories.  This one isn't my best one, but I will use it to get this party started.

  When we were growing up we used to party in the woods and then climb the elementary school roof.  One night when I was 16 we got really drunk and we were playing drunken soccer on the roof and the cops came.  I hid inside an air vent that was the size of a bed with a plastic green cover on it.  You had to go under and up, so it was like a tent or something.  I was waiting it out and I fell asleep.  I woke up the next morning and could'nt figure out where I was or how to get out.  It took a little while to figure it out.   
  I got home and caught hell for being out all night.  I told my folks I fell asleep on the school roof.  My Dad said "That is one hell of an excuse" and pretty much let me off the hook. 

[Rome]

I got drunk on my wedding night and ended up sleeping with two of the bridesmaids.

Good times.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

I got drunk on my wedding night and ended up sleeping with two of the bridesmaids.

That's the way to start off a successful marriage.  Good show.

Did your wife at least get gang banged by the best man and the ushers?  It would only have been fair.

[Rome]

No.  My wife was part of the foursome.

For God's sake, man... what kind of guy do you think I am?

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

You don't want me to answer that question honestly, so I just won't answer it.  Ha.

[Wingspan]

lies

[Diomedes]

Thanks for clearing that up, wingnut.  We were SO believing him too...

[Wingspan]

no problem, son of Tydeus

[Yeti]

Less jiber jab, more drunk stories.

[mussa]

i went up  to penn tech college in williamsport to visit some friends one weekend before i went off to college.  got completly trashed and on the way back to my buddy apartment, i ran full force in a stop sign. well not as tall as a metal stop sign, it was about 4 ft tall.  i tried to snap it.  instead it catapulted me end over end and broke my leg.  hairline fracture of the fibula.  of course i walked back to the apartment not knowing it was broken, but i def hurt alittle.  i didn't realize it was broke til 2 days later.  when the doctor and parents asked how i did it, i said i collided with a guy playing volleyball and landed bad.  he was just like, ok well lets get you an aircast. 

[Rome]

I also got drunk once and had sex with Hillary Clinton in a Victoria's Secret in Little Rock.

I did her in the dressing room as she was chowing down on the sales girl's snatch.

Veddy Hott.

[PhillyPhanInDC]

i went up  to penn tech college in williamsport to visit some friends one weekend before i went off to college.  got completly trashed and on the way back to my buddy apartment, i ran full force in a stop sign. well not as tall as a metal stop sign, it was about 4 ft tall.  i tried to snap it.  instead it catapulted me end over end and broke my leg.  hairline fracture of the fibula.  of course i walked back to the apartment not knowing it was broken, but i def hurt alittle.  i didn't realize it was broke til 2 days later.  when the doctor and parents asked how i did it, i said i collided with a guy playing volleyball and landed bad.  he was just like, ok well lets get you an aircast. 

Douchebag goes bang.

[phattymatty]

i tried stealing a millet lite truck last night and was tossd out of the drivers seat and onto the sidewalk by a 500 lb dude

[mussa]

i went up  to penn tech college in williamsport to visit some friends one weekend before i went off to college.  got completly trashed and on the way back to my buddy apartment, i ran full force in a stop sign. well not as tall as a metal stop sign, it was about 4 ft tall.  i tried to snap it.  instead it catapulted me end over end and broke my leg.  hairline fracture of the fibula.  of course i walked back to the apartment not knowing it was broken, but i def hurt alittle.  i didn't realize it was broke til 2 days later.  when the doctor and parents asked how i did it, i said i collided with a guy playing volleyball and landed bad.  he was just like, ok well lets get you an aircast. 

Douchebag goes bang.

i clearly saw the sign in my story and i clearly thought i could snap it with my own force.  clearly i was wrong. clearly that jackass in the video was sober. 

[mussa]

One time in high school we went up to my buddies cabin in potter co. PA.  It was x-mas break, we had like 12 dudes and a shtein load of booze.  My one buddy was known to piss himself at night after drinking when he sleeps.  so bad he had plastic covers over his electronic equipment in his room.  this guy is a riot when he's wasted. he'll do anything.  anyway i have a ton of stories about this guy, but this is one of the best. 
back to the story, we all pass out after drinking heavily. apparently sometime in the middle of the night he gets up and starts taking a piss in my other buddies bag full of cloths for the weekend.  totally sleep waking, totally out of his mind.  i wake up for a second to my other buddy screaming at him, what the farg are u doing.  so then they take him downstairs and instead of walking into the bathroom, he goes into the kitchen and starts pissing more. when hes done he spits like he's spitting into the crapper.  the best part of the story is after hes done he goes upstairs, still out of it, and picks the wrong bed and flops on top of the guy who's bag he just pissed in.  haha, no fargin lie. when we woke up in the morning he was like i don;t remeber doing any of it.  jesus that was funny.