Grouphug

[rjs246]

Men should act like men. Like this dude...

Last night, I found out my girlfriend had been cheating on me and had stolen money from me to buy drugs. I snapped and beat the hell out of her. I left her apartment with her on the floor, bleeding, calling her a whore. I swore I would never hurt a girl, but she had it coming...she better not tell anyone it was me or there will be hell to pay. I am an educated professional and will not let a drug addicted slut ruin my life...

[mussa]

Bravo!

[rjs246]

HA!

I have 10 gigabytes worth of data related to Jessica Alba. That's how I know we were never meant to be. I hate falling in love/obssessing over her sometimes. What can I say?

we're all a bunch of farging idiots

Amen brother.

[rjs246]

I made my friend drink a hair-growth formula when he was drunk, and now he has hair growing on his tongue. The worst part of it is, I want to "accidentally" poor some on his eyes.

I'm not sure I even understand this one, but it's making me giggle.

[SD_Eagle5]

I am staying over my brother's house for a while. I was just watching TV with his wife and she fell asleep on the couch. I could see right down her top and it got me so hard. I jerked off right there with her sleeping next to me on the couch. It was the biggest rush I ever had.

[mussa]

that takes some balls right therrrr

[rjs246]

I just masturbated. And my hands aren't clean. And I'm worried that getting a tie dye Pink Floyd shirt would make me a hippy. Especially since it would invariably end up smelling like weed.

[rjs246]

i am torn between two hatreds...one being asians and the other being cats. you would think i should like asians because they eat cats but really i freakin hate them

[rjs246]

I fantasize that the girl I have a crush on had psoriasis instead of me. That way I could ask her out without feeling bad about it. I've never seen a girl with psoriasis.
It sucks... big time.

[Quasimoto]

haha this thread is farging awesome

[Quasimoto]

my girlfriend's crotch smells like spinach.

[phattymatty]

With this new digital camera I recently purchased, I'm gonna record myself jerking off, then jerk off while watching it.

[Dillen]

A friend and I who talk on the net all the time have become secretly addicted to reading posts on this site. We think that most people are wierd and read it as a release from our normal lives.

im going to be 45 tomorrow and i still poop my pants often

I just wrote out my confession, and then accidentally hit the back button and erased it. I won't rewrite it because I'm secretly very superstitious, and take things like this as signs from God/gods. I was not meant to confess that particular thing today, and doing so would no doubt result in some heinous aftermath. I'm afraid to tell anyone about my superstition because I'm usually a very reasonable and logical person. I don't want to sound crazy.

I love littering.

I'm 30. I'd never heard the term "emo" until I found this website.

When I was your age, we called them "whiny hipster iceholes."

And we called grown-up Whiny Hipster iceholes "SNAGs" (sensitive new-age guys).

Message to all who fall under any of those appellations:

STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW BAD YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SEXISM WOMEN FACE EVERY DAY.

What a transparent, slimy tactic to get laid (if you can get laid at all). How is this any more decent than a drunk preppy bragging about how much money he has and telling me I have a nice ass? At least the preppy is open and honest about what he's after.

And for farg's sake:

WATCH SPORTS!

PLAY THE GUITAR!

BE A MAN, GODDAMNIT!

[Wingspan]

I laughed more than a little with this one

my g/f and I have been seeing each other for almost a year. I'll probably end up marrying her, she's great. We have amazing unprotected sex. When she gets her period, we slap each other a high five and say, "Welp, one more month!"

[Feva]

I like to poke people in the eye when I farg them.. I say it's an accident but I really mean it.. I can't help it, I try not to do it every time... My girlfriend seems like she's used to it but I still feel bad.

i swallowed three quarters and a dime yesterday and still havent pooped them out.

I let my dog hump my leg for about 10 minutes before he stopped. To be honest it turned me on a little.