Around the NFL - Week 5

[PhillyGirl]

Started early because I don't know where else to put this...and there are some funny things in it:

Week 5 rundown: Steelers face surging SD
Michael Tanier

Hey, the National Hockey League is back!

Football will always rule my Saturdays and Sundays, but maybe I'll set aside some time during the week for some hard-checking, slap-shooting, two-three trapping action. Let me just check my television schedule.

Hmmm ... I don't get that channel. That one, either. Wow, I don't think that my remote even has a button for that channel. And isn't that the station that shows the foreign language soap operas?

Oh well, I guess I'll stick to football, at least until a Thrashers-Coyotes game preempts The Immortal Li Soon Shin.

Games you will watch

Steelers at Chargers: Two weeks ago, the Steelers lost to the Patriots thanks to a clock meltdown that would have made Salvador Dali proud. A substitute timekeeper (the regular guy called in sick) actually added 52 seconds to the game clock early in the fourth quarter, but no one noticed. The Patriots used this glitch-in-the-Matrix bonus minute to execute a 37-yard drive and kick the winning field goal.

Of course, the guy in the press box wasn't the only person in Pittsburgh to have brain cramps that day. Antwaan Randle El marred an otherwise excellent performance with a no-look lateral to Hines Ward that won't be appearing in fast food commercials anytime soon. Then there were the defensive lapses in that final drive. The Patriots were out of timeouts, yet the Steelers allowed two running backs to catch short passes over the middle, gain significant yardage, and scamper out of bounds to stop the clock. Letting Kevin Faulk do it is one thing, but Patrick Pass? He's so slow that fans could have driven down from Zelienople to tackle him before he reached the sidelines.

Despite the loss, the Steelers remain one of the two or three best teams in the NFL. But they face a major challenge this week: The Chargers have officially bounced back from their 0-2 start and are picking up where they left off last season.

Drew Brees and the Chargers face another stern test this Sunday vs. the Steelers. (Stephan Savoia / Associated Press)

The Steelers and Chargers are similar in many ways. Both teams use a zone-blitzing 3-4 defense. Both teams love to run the ball, particularly on first down — the Steelers run the ball 70 percent of the time on first down, the Chargers 65 percent of the time; both figures are among the highest in the league. Both quarterbacks can rack up big numbers when the running game is clicking.

The key for the Steelers will be applying pressure up the middle; Brees had trouble when the Cowboys and Broncos brought heat up the gut. The Steelers are masters of the interior blitz; look for them to focus on stopping LaDainian Tomlinson on early downs, then to attack Drew Brees on third-and-long. Offensively, the Steelers will keep the heat off with the help of a healthy three-headed backfield. Willie Parker will get most of the work, but Jerome Bettis and Duce Staley are both ready to get back in the action.

The Steelers also need Ben Roethlisberger to re-focus after a wild 'n' crazy bye week: the second-year quarterback took his sister to her homecoming dance last weekend. They say that a tie is just like kissing your sister. Losing by three due to dumb plays and clock malfunctions must be just like taking her to a dance.

Eagles at Cowboys: With Donovan McNabb battling through a sports hernia, the Eagles defense and special teams had to play their "A" game to beat a quality opponent on the road, right?

Nope. The Eagles defense mixed big plays with big lapses last week against the Chiefs. Their usually reliable special teams were horrible: a blocked field goal, a botched extra point, a kickoff return touchdown allowed, a fumbled kickoff. Despite the mistakes, the Eagles overcame a 17-0 deficit to win the game. The Chiefs figured that the key to stopping the Eagles was stopping runner/receiver Brian Westbrook. So they focused on Westbrook and let Terrell Owens run free. Great strategy.

The Cowboys, meanwhile, looked great in Week 1 but have shifted into reverse. They folded against the taterskins, struggled against the Niners, and came out flat against the Raiders. Drew Bledsoe is starting to lapse into bad habits, ignoring his check-down receivers and throwing deep on every play. He threw for just 212 yards against one of the worst secondaries in the NFL last week, and 130 of those yards came on two plays. The Eagles secondary is loaded with Pro Bowl players who won't get burned deep.

The Eagles have won nine of their last 10 meetings with the Cowboys, often by scores of 49-21, 44-13, and 27-3. And then there's Owens, whose eyes light up when he sees that big star in the middle of the field. Unless Bledsoe and Bill Parcells have some surprises in the playbook, this game will be over quickly.

Bengals at Jaguars: I'm on the Bengals bandwagon. Been there since Week 1. I'm not driving, but I'm in the front seat, fiddling with the CD changer and the climate control, which explains the icicles on the windshield and the non-stop System of a Down.

But I'm picking the Jaguars this week. Why? Because Jacksonville's Marcus Stroud and John Henderson are two of the best defensive tackles in football, and the Bengals have major injury problems at center. Starter Rick Braham will likely play hurt because backup Larry Moore suffered a more serious injury last week.

Neither Stroud nor Henderson has registered a sack this season, but they'll push the pocket with one of them facing a banged-up Braham. They'll have to provide some heat, because the Jaguars offense is up to its old tricks. On the team's first six drives against the Broncos, the Jaguars executed a total of 18 plays for 48 yards, producing five punts, one fumble, and no points. They showed signs of life late in the game, but why do the Jaguars always wait until the second half to start scoring?

Look for the typical three-point Jaguars win this week, not to be confused with the typical three-point Jaguars loss. And look for me to ride shotgun on the Bengals bandwagon until Week 7.

Games you should watch

Seattle at St. Louis: The Rams were 3-0 against the Seahawks last season, including a playoff victory. Without the Seahawks, the Rams wouldn't have made the playoffs. Mike Holmgren may have done as much to help the Rams make the playoffs last year as Mike Martz did.

The Seahawks made it easy for the Rams last season by playing terribly on third downs. The Rams were 25-of-42 on third down conversions in their three wins; the Seahawks were 10-of-37. Bad third down performances plagued the Seahawks last year, and the problem is back this season. The taterskins were 13-of-18 on third downs last week, converting two third-and-10 situations and a third-and-9 in overtime.

Santana Moss' game-clinching catch for the taterskins last week looked eerily similar to Kevin Curtis' overtime game-winner in Week 5 of 2004 — the ill-advised blitz, the single coverage, the hopelessly beaten defender. The Seahawks are playing too sloppily right now to pick them on the road, even against a Rams team that has made a science of sloppy football.

Patriots at Falcons: The unbeatable, never-pick-against-them Patriots are gone. They've been replaced by the still very good but injury depleted Patriots, a team that will struggle against balanced offenses with multiple receiving threats for the rest of the year. Luckily for the Patriots, the Falcons are an unbalanced offense with no receiving threats.

Teams like the Colts and Chiefs will score a lot of points against the Patriots this year by matching their tight ends and slot receivers against reserves like Chad Scott and Ellis Hobbs. The Falcons can try the same strategy, but Brian Finneran and Dwayne Blakely don't really scare anyone.

Falcons coach Jim Mora wants to keep the score low so that he can win by running the football. But the Falcons have depth problems of their own in the secondary, and Tom Brady will find the weak link. Don't bury the Patriots yet; they went 2-2 two years ago, and things turned out just fine for them.

[PhillyGirl]

Must-flee TV

Bears at Browns: The big story in this game is Kyle Orton's new haircut. Have you noticed that long-haired quarterbacks aren't doing well this season? Scruffy David Carr is having a lousy year in Houston. J.P Losman, with locks left over from That 70's Show, is about to get benched. High 'n' tight is clearly the way to go. Bears fans are hoping that Orton pulls a reverse-Samson and improves suddenly thanks to the new 'do (and the new shotgun formation that the team is tinkering with). The Browns are hoping that history holds sway; the Bears are 0-3 coming off their bye in the last three years. I'm hoping that Trent Dilfer runs onto the field in a bouffant.

Nutshells

Buccaneers at Jets: Brian Griese started to play like Mister Bumbles last week. Cadillac Williams is banged up. The Bucs needed a dubious call in the final seconds to beat the Lions. And Jets' emergency QB Brooks Bollinger wasn't completely terrible. Trap game for the Bucs? Nah. Wait until the Jets actually prove they can score a touchdown before you start picking them.

Panthers at Cardinals: The Cardinals are now undefeated in Mexico City, the site of Super Bowl LXXXVIII. The Panthers should win easily, but grandma taught me to beware of road favorites coming off tight Monday night home wins.

taterskins at Broncos: Both teams like to run the ball. Both teams are very good at stopping the run. The Broncos are seven-point favorites, a sure sign that some insiders, like us Outsiders, aren't impressed by Washington's hot start. If you want to watch, don't tune in late; with all the inside handoffs to Clinton Portis and Mike Anderson, this game could be over before the pizza arrives.

Colts at 49ers: "Dear schedule makers: thank you so much! The Browns, the cap-strapped Titans, and now the Niners? I'm not sure what I did to deserve such a wonderful stretch of games. Enclosed, please find a basket of smoked sausages, sharp cheeses, and all-natural jams and jellies as a token of my gratitude. Sincerely, Tony Dungy."

Titans at Texans: The Texans allowed 6.5 sacks per game through their first two games, so they fired offensive coordinator Chris Palmer and promoted line coach Joe Pendry. The result: seven sacks against the Bengals. Maybe Palmer wasn't the problem. The Titans are rebounding from an awful game and looking to earn some respect. They'll get it in the city they once called home.

Dolphins at Bills: The Bills' net passing yards in their first four games: 164, 100, 36, 67. That's 367 yards, a typical game for Peyton Manning but a month for the Bills. Still, Mike Mularkey isn't ready to bench J.P. Losman in favor of Kelly Holcomb. His plan for the weeks ahead — "stay the course." Coach, it's not a course; it's a treadmill.

Saints at Packers: The Packers will be 1-4 after beating the Saints. If the Bears and Lions both lose, they'll be a half game out of first place with that record. What a division.

Ravens at Lions: You drafted Joey Harrington for your fantasy team, didn't you? And when your buddies chuckled, you got indignant. "Roy Williams, Mike Williams, Charles Rogers," you said. "There's no way Harrington can stink this year!" Hopefully, Harrington wasn't backing up Culpepper; if so, your team is doomed. Of course, if you drafted kickers Jason Hanson or Matt Stover, then you'll be probably love this field goal battle.

[MDS]

Who is that guy?

[General_Failure]

And why should anyone read an article that starts off talking about the NHL?

[Diomedes]

Passages like the following are well worth getting by the hockey talk at the beginning.  Plus, hockey was being ridiculed.  If you must speak of hockey, then goddamnit, at least speak ill of it!

The Steelers also need Ben Roethlisberger to re-focus after a wild 'n' crazy bye week: the second-year quarterback took his sister to her homecoming dance last weekend. They say that a tie is just like kissing your sister. Losing by three due to dumb plays and clock malfunctions must be just like taking her to a dance.

[PhillyGirl]

LOL Dio...missed that one too. 

[Magical_Retard]

Colts.com reports that during the week at the Colts Training Facility, Coach Dungy and his staff could not stop some of the players from spontaneous burts of laughter while studying 49ers game footage.

"I don't know what to say", explained Dungy. Whether he was talking about the film or his players reaction, he didn't elaborate.

[General_Failure]

taterskins at Broncos: Both teams like to run the ball. Both teams are very good at stopping the run. The Broncos are seven-point favorites, a sure sign that some insiders, like us Outsiders, aren't impressed by Washington's hot start. If you want to watch, don't tune in late; with all the inside handoffs to Clinton Portis and Mike Anderson, this game could be over before the pizza arrives.

I'm calling it now. There will be enough penalties and clock stoppages to satisfy all advertisers.

[MDS]

My quarterback is Anthony Wright

[PhillyGirl]

 

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Colts.com reports that during the week at the Colts Training Facility, Coach Dungy and his staff could not stop some of the players from spontaneous burts of laughter while studying 49ers game footage.

"I don't know what to say", explained Dungy. Whether he was talking about the film or his players reaction, he didn't elaborate.

The 49ers suck ass.  I'd hate to be playing someone in FFL with Peyton Manning.

[PhillyGirl]

Vick downgraded to questionable

[PhillyPhreak54]

Thank god! Another Sunday is here! Cold, damp and cloudy outside means that the day is perfect for watching football and football related stuff from 10:30am through midnight.

I did two 3 team parlays this week. One with the spread and one strictly with the money lines..

1st 3 team parlay:

St. Louis (-3) vs. Seattle - I love STL in this game because SEA's defense sucks and they have no receivers (Jackson and Engram are out).

Detroit (-1) vs. Baltimore - Two bad teams and I'm hoping Detroit is less zesty today so I can win some cash.

Philadelphia (-3.5) at Dallas - No brainer.

2nd 3 team parlay:

New England (+125) at Atlanta
Tennessee (+135) at Houston
Cincinnati (+125) at Jacksonville

[Diomedes]

Thank god! Another Sunday is here! Cold, damp and cloudy outside means that the day is perfect for watching football and football related stuff from 10:30am through midnight.

I was just thinking about how miserable we all were two months ago, dreaming of days like this.  I went to bed last night like an 8 year old on Christmas eve:  early, so the day would be here sooner.

I did two 3 team parlays this week. One with the spread and one strictly with the money lines..

1st 3 team parlay:

St. Louis (-3) vs. Seattle - I love STL in this game because SEA's defense sucks and they have no receivers (Jackson and Engram are out).

Detroit (-1) vs. Baltimore - Two bad teams and I'm hoping Detroit is less zesty today so I can win some cash.

Philadelphia (-3.5) at Dallas - No brainer.

2nd 3 team parlay:

New England (+125) at Atlanta
Tennessee (+135) at Houston
Cincinnati (+125) at Jacksonville

I don't gamble.  Please explain this mumbo jumbo.  I gather the parlay means you have to win all three to get paid?  And the spread has been explained before, but I'm hazy on it.  If the line is Philly (-3.5) at Dallas, and I take Philly, that means that the Eagles have to win by greater than 3.5 in order to get paid, right?  What do the larger numbers mean for the bottom three?  +125??

[PhillyPhreak54]

Indeed...I look forward to September - January. If I could have myself frozen from February to April (draft) and then again to September I'd do it so I could live longer for NFL weekends. Just leave my head on unlike poor Ted Williams. Best time of the year period.

As for the betting...

Yes, a parlay means you have to hit on all 3 (or you can do 2, 4, 5 or 6 teamers) in order to win. It is a greater payoff if you win. I like the high risk plays.

And you are correct. If a team is minus points they have to win by that amount or greater. If a team is getting points (a +) then if they win you win or if they lose but by less than that number you win. For example...Washington is +7 today in Denver. If Denver wins 20-16 I still would win if I bet on Washington +7.

The +125 etc are the money lines. That means you just bet on the winner straight up. No point spereads involved. So if I just bet the Patriots at +125 and they win 21-20 I would win the bet.

+125 means that if you bet $100 you win $125. Or if you bet $10 you win $12.

If it is -125 then you have to bet 125 to win 100.