2006 Point & Laugh at the taterskins thread

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

quote author=RandomSkinsDouche

Ha!

[Rome]

We have as good a shot at beating any team in the NFC as anyone does.

We have a better shot at beating anyone in the NFC than the taterskins.

Why?  Because the taterskins suck ass.  Their quarterbacks are awful, their best player on offense is gone, their defense is a laughingstock, (especially their putrid secondary) their head coach is lost somewhere in the 1980's and their owner is a complete fargtard who continually attempts to buy a winner using other teams overrated and ridiculously overpaid cast-offs rather than building one of his own.

Pointing and laughing...

[Rome]

Which one of you fargers is this?   

I like your use of the word "battalion" to reference the baritone quality of the song. It gives your posts an air of national pride that has me almost goose-stepping around the office.

So what you're saying, is that even with hundreds of thousands of fans & media members being present for Eagles home games, a jewish owner & jewish team president, only you with your keen powers hyper-observation, have figured out the true meaning of the Eagles fight song video?

I look forward to your next post about masonic imagery found on the Linc beer cups. Maybe Lurie has the Ark of the Covenant hidden at the training facility!!

Ha.  "National Treasure" and "Raiders of the Lost Ark" allusions in the same post.

Well done.

[Feva]

Eagles Envy

Kay's Korner: This 'Skins fan is getting Eagles envy   
   Nov. 14, 2006
By Eric Kay
SPiN Columnist     

 
   
I've been struck with a case of bird envy, and it's not Toucan Sam-related like last time. I want to say I'll get through this, but I just don't know.

You see, the Philadelphia Eagles are everything my Washington taterskins aren't. The Eagles rarely overpay their players, they rely heavily on the draft, they don't cave in to outlandish demands by egotistical players and they sign 24-year-olds, not 34-year-olds, to long-term deals.

Throw in the fact they've had the same managerial structure for the past half-dozen or so years and one of the game's longest-tenured coaches, and it has me wondering: What's not to like about the green and white? (Cough, their fans).

Now, the taterskins, meanwhile, do just about everything wrong. They don't draft (New York in April is sooo touristy), they overpay just about everyone and have only one consistency in the managerial structure: inconsistency.

That's why I have Eagles envy. And something of late has that deadly sin kicking into high gear. It's the Eagles' propensity to dish out long-term deals to young, rising stars.

In case you missed it, last week Philadelphia locked up wide receiver Reggie Brown to a five-year deal. I won't bore you with the details, but it's a reasonable number of greenbacks that will keep the 25-year-old in green through 2014. That's so un-taterskins, it's fantastic. Washington's sort-of-GM Vinny Cerrato wouldn't even know how to draft such a contract. He'd mistakenly slip in two no-trade clauses, several FedEx Field handicap parking stickers and Joe Gibbs' youngest son.

But Brown's deal is just the tip of the iceberg. Earlier this year defensive tackle Mike Patterson received a seven-year extension and defensive end Trent Cole inked a five-year contract. Two more reasonable deals for a pair of solid down linemen. To quote Monty Burns, "That's capital!"

But wait, there's more. Earlier, earlier this year, punter Dirk Johnson signed a six-year contract extension.

But wait, there's even more. Earlier, earlier, earlier this year, guard Shawn Andrews signed a contract extension through 2015 and center Jamaal Jackson got locked up through 2013.

Add running back Brian Westbrook's five-year deal in '05 and cornerbacks Lito Sheppard and Sheldon Brown, who signed five- and six-year deals in '04 and, it's safe to say there's a bit of a trend here.

The Eagles' recipe is simple: Draft a lot of players -- 29 over the past three years -- and odds are, a few pan out. Notice the ones quickly reaching their potential and justly reward them. It's such an organic philosophy I'm surprised Whole Foods isn't catering the team's lunches gratis.

But why would these players do it? If they just wait a couple more years, odds are teams like the taterskins will offer them riches beyond anything the Genie in Aladdin could. Patterson's agent, Josh Luchs, sums it up nicely:

"This is about what's best for Mike Patterson," Luchs told the Philadelphia Inquirer. "Mike understands that he'll be making a little bit less than if he'd played his (original) deal out, stayed healthy and become a free agent. But to remove the injury risk is a big thing."

But it's not just about injuries, it's about players seeing a good thing and wanting to stay with it:

"I'm not good at predicting the future, but (based) on the things (the Eagles) have done in the past I feel comfortable in how they are going to do things in the future," Patterson told the Inquirer.

So few times in sports do contracts actually benefit the player and the team. But the Eagles are starting to figure it out. The team keeps a young, rising player at a reasonable rate (signing bonuses spread over long contracts are team-friendly) and because of the bonus, the player is assured of spending his 20s as a millionaire, regardless of whether he tears an ACL. How can anybody associated with sports not like this set-up?

Sure, it's not all peaches and cream and there's certainly room for criticism. Donovan McNabb's astronomical 12-year, $115 million deal may never see its completion, but geez, those are some big numbers for a quarterback who can't keep his lunch down in the biggest game of his life.

And contracts are a tricky subject. There's no question players perform just a bit differently in contract years than they do after they've signed the big one -- so locking up so many players to so many long-term deals is risky.

Let's say the Eagles win Super Bowl XLI this season. With nearly 20 percent of the team locked into these long deals, Eagles brass would be playing with fire. Without the incentive to play for a big, fat contract and with the Super Bowl drive extinguished, there's likely going to be a little complacency in the clubhouse.

Of course, that's a problem any Eagles fan would love to have. But still, some would say it's a bit alarming; signing so many players with so little track record to so many long-term deals.

But really, how much more does a coach and GM need to see to make a proper evaluation? They've got tape on these kids going back to their high school days, medical charts that could fill the Library of Congress and after the Terrell Owens fiasco, they're not going to commit to players with questionable character.

So, there are reasons to give a John Belushi eyebrow raise to the Eagles' unorthodox managerial approach, but I have a feeling it's going to work.

They picked their spots wisely. A couple of young cornerbacks here, a couple of linemen there and one or two skill players thrown in for flavor. What they're doing is putting together a core group of players who drink the Philly juice and, in doing so, make sure the franchise has a foundation in place. And with that settled, they can start adding some intriguing pieces here and there to provide differing dynamics.

On the other hand, my taterskins have only a handful of homegrown, young, core players -- Sean Taylor, Chris Cooley, maybe Jason Campbell -- and because of it, are constantly forced to sign the big-name flavor of the offseason. It's not just frustrating to follow a team without a foundation, it makes purchasing a jersey a real pain in the gluteus maximus. I'm still stuck wearing my LB No. 57 jersey. It's not cheap having to replace those things. 

So, with every logical long-term deal a young Eagle signs, it makes me wonder how it's my team, and not the one named after a bird, making its home in the cuckoo's nest.

Oh, it's not just wondering, there's lots of rage involved, too. Lots of rage.

Pointing... and motherfarging Laughing.

[MDS]

Eagles fan have always had atroicious behavior. My cousin's one of the few well behaved Eagles fan's and he told me a story about how a guy who wore a San Francisco jersey got his leg broken by a bunch of Eagles fans.

From Booing Santa Claus to throwing beer at Clinton Portis's mom, they Philly fans are trash. They show no restraint towards any fan with opposing colors. It takes big men to insult 9 year old girls doesn't it? That's probably one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. Eagles fans are garbage, and I along with everyone else on this forum hope they never win a Super bowl.

The big bad Eagles fans did it again! It was Tommy with a crowbar in the Linc parking lot that broke the San Fran fan's leg. God save us from them.

[Geowhizzer]

I'm disappointed in RJS.  He didn't light one single taterskin fan on fire.  He's all talk.

[rjs246]

If I lit taterskins fans on fire I'd have nothing to keep me entertained during this season of mediocrity. Think man, think!

[Quasimoto]

What the hell is this?  The Official "Catching Teams At the Right/Wrong Time Meter" 

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=174839

I give each opponent a number 1-10 on the "time meter." A 10 means we are catching them at a PERFECT time. A 1 means we couldn't be playing them at a worse time. So, just remember, the higher the number, the better. A 5 equals a complete wash.

Week Six: Titans = 6. Not a "great" time to catch them because I think their confidence is probably a bit up after a good effort last week, but i do believe it's an above average time to play them. Teams like Tennessee generally can "gear it up" every few weeks. They almost won in Miami, got destroyed by Dallas, and then almost won in Indy. But the losses keep mounting up. They'll win eventually, but it's not likely to be this week.

I guess the Titans "geared it up" around Week 6, eh douchebag?

Week Seven: Colts = 7. I'm telling you right now, we can win this game. Indy has some major problems. Manning has been able to mask those problems, but eventually, it's going to bite them. This is where their bye week actually helps US, IMO. They are 5-0, 3-0 in their division, and cruising along. They may say all the right things, but I have no doubt that they will take the taterskins fairly lightly in a game that in all honesty simply isn't that important to them in grand scheme of things. The Colts WILL lose 3-4 games this year and at least 2 of those will be upsets. I think the circumstances surrounding this game have all the earmarks of a potential upset. The only reason this isn't a higher number is because the 14-13 win over the Titans did give them something to focus on during the bye.

So I guess they're just catching all these teams at a really bad time.  Never about getting your ass whooped.  It's just all bad luck in Washington.

[Rome]

^ Bad luck and the officiating.  Clearly.

[Sgt PSN]

Actually, that makes their season even more laughable.  Because according to them, they've been catching teams at the right time, when they aren't playing their best football........and still getting their asses handed to them. 

That may be the most useful information ever posted on that board.  I heart it. 

[phattymatty]

So I rode the metro this morning with a cripple wearing a taterskins hat, and for some reason I felt like he deserved it.

[MDS]

I hate you and your effective public transportation system. SEPTA blows. Some stations don't sell tokens. Some stations only have token machines, and it's a toss up to whether they work or not. Some stations have token machines without a change slot, so if you don't have 3 $1 bills, you get to buy $5 or $10 worth of tokens. Also, it smells like ass, looks like ass, and is ugly as an ass. And why the hell does the express stop at Girard and not Cecil B. Moore? Who the farg lives at Girard? Nobody but some crackheads. So many TU students commute, and not to mention all the people that work down there. Usless asswipes SEPTA. Go farg yourselfs.

Meanwhile, back to the Skins. This was funny:

Mark I think that your question is fair. Also, I would like to add that people that carry that attitude, "they are scum up there, that is why I will never go there again," is actually giving them a small victory. That is why for every game there is a sea of green, which is commendable, but not going because you are scared is not cool in my opinion. I don't know about the rest of you but I am no coward. I went last year, this year and I plan to be there next year. Those bastiches win if we stay home. I know that is a small gesture to solve a big problem but it is a start.

I am taking Mark and Mac up on their suggestion of writing a letter to the stadium or team office. It is just ridiculous to me. I have friends that have been in Iraq for a year and we are at home still calling each other racial slurs, mistreating Vets and insulting children. That is insane to me

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

So I rode the metro this morning with a cripple wearing a taterskins hat, and for some reason I felt like he deserved it.

Deserved which... being a skins fan or being a cripple?

[Quasimoto]

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=180899

How the hell are the taterskins an underdog in this one? What do these guys know that we don't? I can't understand why a team that has an offense that resembles the Raiders can be 3 points under. It blows my mind.
Should I bet on the taterskins? I mean, I will anyways bet on the taterskins but I just want some advice.

Clash of the Titans!!  How does a 2-7 team have a -3 spread over a 3-6 team at home?  This is just mind boggling!

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

It especially doesn't make sense because it's often that a guy who has been the inactive 3rd QB for all 25 games of his career goes up against an adequate defense in his first NFL game and really lights the world on fire, behind a suspect offensive line and without his top running back.

I plan to bet as much money as I can find on the skins.