Joke Thread 10

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

It's probably the best e-mail forward I've received in a while.  Props to my buddy Don.

[rjs246]

Golf is for Romes.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Interesting... I didn't know you played!  What's your handicap?

[reese125]

people who dont play golf have no coordination....shame for you rj...get involved

[phattymatty]

i just got new clubs.

[Diomedes]

Golf is a game, not a sport.  It's a pastime for rich fargs and idiots who worship them and their money.   There are still clubs where blacks aren't welcome. 

Golf can suck it.

[reese125]

Websters

sport: an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature, as racing, baseball, tennis, golf, bowling, wrestling, boxing, hunting, fishing, etc.


nothing beats going out on the course for 5 hours away from the wife, drinking beers and gambling on each hole. When you can pick up a club and can hit a ball, you'll know what I mean...until then...

[MadMarchHare]

While arguing about the merits of golf is in and of itself a joke, it's not the same as telling a joke.

Now, someone make me laugh.  FF's joke was hilarious.

[reese125]

Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says 'Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He's dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It's another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-f$cking-believable!"

[Wingspan]

thats not as much of a joke, as say an incedibly boring story

[NGM]

What do you call a gay guy in a wheel chair?

Roll AIDS. 

[PhillyPhanInDC]

1. A plane is flying over the Atlantic Ocean as the pilot is finishing an announcement on the intercom. Putting the mike down, he hits the Off switch. Uknown to him, the switch is malfunctioning and his conversation is broadcast into the passenger area. "Take over for awhile, Dave," the pilot says to his co-pilot. "I think I'll go take a shtein and then bang that newstewardess." At this statement the passengers fly into a frenzy of conversation and gossip. The stewardess is greatly embarrassed and can no longer stay at her post, so she hurries toward the cockpit. But in her haste she trips and falls to her knees in the aisle. She happens to land next to a sweet little old lady, who turns to
help her up. As she does, the lady says sweetly, "Don't rush, dear; he said he had to take a shtein first."

2. A black man died and started walking to heaven. In front of him, the road split. One sign read "Straight to Heaven;" the other said "Straight To Purgatory." He strolled right up the road, "Straight to Heaven," to the Pearly Gates.
"Just a minute!" said Saint Peter. "You have to have done something pretty special to go straight to heaven. What have you done?" "I married a white woman on the courthouse steps in Bainbridge, Georgia," the black man proudly replied. "That is pretty special," agreed Saint Peter. "When did you do that?"
"Oh, about three minutes ago!"

[reese125]

thats not as much of a joke, as say an incedibly boring story

like I said Carlin, you bang one out so we can all can critique the beauties up your sleeve