This weeks jokes

[stillupfront]

A man walks into the bar and orders three double-shots of vodka. The bartender asks, "that's a lot of liquor, what's the problem?"
The man replies, "I just found out my younger brother was gay."
The next day, he comes back and orders the same thing. The bartender asks, "What's wrong now?"
The man says, "I just found out that my older brother is gay."
The next day, he comes in again, and orders the same thing.
The bartender asks, "Man, isn't there anyone in your family that likes women?"
He replies, "yeah, my wife."


Q: What are the two biggest lies in Poland?

A: "The check is in your mouth" and "I won't come in the mail."


Three guys are discussing women. "I like to watch a woman's tits best," the first guy says.

The second says, "I like to look at a woman's ass." He asks the third guy, "What about you?"

"Me? I perfer to see the top of her head."


Q: Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?

A: Who cares?



Q: How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?

A: Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.



Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.



Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?

A: A whore screws everyone, a bitch screws everyone except you.

Q: What do lobster thermidor and oral sex have in common?

A: You can't get either of them at home.


Why Beer is better than retards
Beer doesn't drool.
Beer stains wash out easier than drool.
You don't have to limit yourself to bisyllabic words in discourse with beer.
Beer doesn't demand to watch cartoons.
Beer won't ask loud, embarressing questions in public.
Beer doesn't have to be sterilized.

What do the special olympics and an internet flame war have in common?

- Even if you win, you're still retarded!

What's better than winning a Gold medal at the special olympics?

- Not being a retard!

A guy comes home from a hard day at work and finds his girlfriend standing on the front porch with her bags packed.

As he walks up she says, "I'm leaving you."

"Now what did I do?" he asks.

"Well, I just found out you're a pedophile."

"A pedophile, huh. That's a big word for a twelve year old girl."

[stillupfront]

ZERO Comments??

[rjs246]

Ignore User

[Tomahawk]

I like beer more than retards too.

[stillupfront]

Ignore User

Et Tu RJS?

[rjs246]

Oh SUF, I could never stay mad at you. Stab Stab Stab.

[PhillyPhanInDC]

A man walks into the bar and orders three double-shots of vodka. The bartender asks, "that's a lot of liquor, what's the problem?"
The man replies, "I just found out my younger brother was gay."
The next day, he comes back and orders the same thing. The bartender asks, "What's wrong now?"
The man says, "I just found out that my older brother is gay."
The next day, he comes in again, and orders the same thing.
The bartender asks, "Man, isn't there anyone in your family that likes women?"
He replies, "yeah, my wife."


Q: What are the two biggest lies in Poland?

A: "The check is in your mouth" and "I won't come in the mail."


Three guys are discussing women. "I like to watch a woman's tits best," the first guy says.

The second says, "I like to look at a woman's ass." He asks the third guy, "What about you?"

"Me? I perfer to see the top of her head."


Q: Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?

A: Who cares?



Q: How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?

A: Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.



Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.



Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?

A: A whore screws everyone, a bitch screws everyone except you.

Q: What do lobster thermidor and oral sex have in common?

A: You can't get either of them at home.


Why Beer is better than retards
Beer doesn't drool.
Beer stains wash out easier than drool.
You don't have to limit yourself to bisyllabic words in discourse with beer.
Beer doesn't demand to watch cartoons.
Beer won't ask loud, embarressing questions in public.
Beer doesn't have to be sterilized.

What do the special olympics and an internet flame war have in common?

- Even if you win, you're still retarded!

What's better than winning a Gold medal at the special olympics?

- Not being a retard!

A guy comes home from a hard day at work and finds his girlfriend standing on the front porch with her bags packed.

As he walks up she says, "I'm leaving you."

"Now what did I do?" he asks.

"Well, I just found out you're a pedophile."

"A pedophile, huh. That's a big word for a twelve year old girl."

The ones in bold are okay. The rest are merit for a kick to the scrotum where I come from.

[Tomahawk]

A man walks into the bar and orders three double-shots of vodka. The bartender asks, "that's a lot of liquor, what's the problem?"
The man replies, "I just found out my younger brother was gay."
The next day, he comes back and orders the same thing. The bartender asks, "What's wrong now?"
The man says, "I just found out that my older brother is gay."
The next day, he comes in again, and orders the same thing.
The bartender asks, "Man, isn't there anyone in your family that likes women?"
He replies, "yeah, my wife."


Q: What are the two biggest lies in Poland?

A: "The check is in your mouth" and "I won't come in the mail."


Three guys are discussing women. "I like to watch a woman's tits best," the first guy says.

The second says, "I like to look at a woman's ass." He asks the third guy, "What about you?"

"Me? I perfer to see the top of her head."


Q: Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?

A: Who cares?



Q: How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?

A: Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.



Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.



Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?

A: A whore screws everyone, a bitch screws everyone except you.

Q: What do lobster thermidor and oral sex have in common?

A: You can't get either of them at home.


Why Beer is better than retards
Beer doesn't drool.
Beer stains wash out easier than drool.
You don't have to limit yourself to bisyllabic words in discourse with beer.
Beer doesn't demand to watch cartoons.
Beer won't ask loud, embarressing questions in public.
Beer doesn't have to be sterilized.

What do the special olympics and an internet flame war have in common?

- Even if you win, you're still retarded!

What's better than winning a Gold medal at the special olympics?

- Not being a retard!

A guy comes home from a hard day at work and finds his girlfriend standing on the front porch with her bags packed.

As he walks up she says, "I'm leaving you."

"Now what did I do?" he asks.

"Well, I just found out you're a pedophile."

"A pedophile, huh. That's a big word for a twelve year old girl."

The ones in bold are okay. The rest are merit for a kick to the scrotum where I come from.

Poland?

[stillupfront]

Keep in mind that I had to resubmit the list. Hoydaboy GF deleted some extremely tasteless material.

[General_Failure]

You're lucky I let you do this at all. Quit yer bitchin.

[Beermonkey]

Keep in mind that I had to resubmit the list. Hoydaboy GF deleted some extremely tasteless material.

Like this?

Q: Why is anal sex better than regular sex?

A: Because it's more degrading for women

[rjs246]

What's the best part about sleeping with forty-eight year olds?

There are forty of them. 

Hardy har har har.

[ice grillin you]

What's the best part about sleeping with forty-eight year olds?

There are forty of them


and whats the hardest part about having sex with an eight year old?


getting the blood out of the clown suit

[ice grillin you]

whats black and white and comes in little cans....


michael jackson

[stillupfront]

Why are pedophilia jokes okay, but negro jokes get you in trouble?