Joke Thread 10

Started by MURP, August 03, 2005, 05:21:23 PM

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MURP

August 03, 2005, 05:21:23 PM
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Wouldn't a more relevant question be "How many pounds of cocaine has Bush
snorted?"


PhillyGirl

#1
August 03, 2005, 05:47:38 PM
 :-D
"Oh, yeah. They'll still boo. They have to. They're born to boo. Just now, they'll only boo with two Os instead of like four." - Larry Andersen

PoopyfaceMcGee

#2
August 03, 2005, 05:49:48 PM
I don't even know how a Bush-hater would find that overly funny, let alone start a new joke thread just to share that one.  I mean, the answer could have to do with the Clinton's weed and/or skank habits, and I still wouldn't find it funny.  Got any not unfunny jokes to share, MURP?  Thanks in advance.

PhillyGirl

#3
August 03, 2005, 05:56:39 PM
Oh stop. Don't turn a joke thread into a political debate. There are just as many CLinton jokes as there are Bush jokes and Dems and Reps all laugh at them the same.
"Oh, yeah. They'll still boo. They have to. They're born to boo. Just now, they'll only boo with two Os instead of like four." - Larry Andersen

hbionic

#4
August 03, 2005, 05:57:24 PM
Where's NB when you need him. Wait...when actually would you need him?
I said watch the game and you will see my spirit manifest.-ILLEAGLE 02/04/05

PhillyGirl

#5
August 03, 2005, 05:58:59 PM
Just to make FF feel all warm and fuzzy:

Clinton and the Genie

Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold, a Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope...Due to inflation, constant downswing, low wages in third world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...What'll it be?"

Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want to be remembered for bringing peace to the Middle East, instead of that other stuff with Monica, and Jennifer, and the rest of those women. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map of the Middle East and exclaimed, "Jeez, Fella!  These people have been at war for thousands of years.  I'm good, but not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. Even though she got elected, they call her a carpetbagger. They think she's mean, ugly, and pushes me around. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want." 

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Lemme see that map again."

And more just for you
"Oh, yeah. They'll still boo. They have to. They're born to boo. Just now, they'll only boo with two Os instead of like four." - Larry Andersen

jeffreyjpa

#6
August 03, 2005, 06:02:25 PM
Now THAT'S funny.    :-D :-D

PoopyfaceMcGee

#7
August 03, 2005, 06:02:53 PM
That was mildly amusing, because I hadn't heard it before (and because Bill is awesome compared to Hillary).

I just didn't think the Bush joke was very funny, because all the "coke" jokes have been played out by now.  Maybe if word of his snortin' days had just broken recently or something, but...

Anyway.  I've shared it with others, including a couple liberal-leaning people, and they didn't get why it's so funny.  One of those jokes where you could easily replace the punchline with almost any crack on anyone.

PhillyGirl

#8
August 03, 2005, 06:03:07 PM
There are five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says "I'm Shaquille O'Neill, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I died". So he takes the first parachute and jumps. The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world, a Senator in New York and America's potential future President. She takes one of the parachutes and jumps.

The third passenger, George W. Bush, says " I am the President of the United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to die". So he takes a parachute and jumps.

The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year old schoolboy "I am already old. I have already lived my life, as a good person and a priest I will give you the last parachute".

The boy replies "No problem, there is also a parachute for you. America's most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag ..."
"Oh, yeah. They'll still boo. They have to. They're born to boo. Just now, they'll only boo with two Os instead of like four." - Larry Andersen

PoopyfaceMcGee

#9
August 03, 2005, 06:05:37 PM
I heard that parachute joke with many, many different people taking the knapsack over the years.  Reagan first.

rjs246

#10
August 03, 2005, 06:13:02 PM
I thought it was funny.
Is rjs gonna have to choke a bitch?

Let them eat bootstraps.

PoopyfaceMcGee

#11
August 03, 2005, 06:14:25 PM
Yeah, but you're still drunk.

Yeti

#12
August 03, 2005, 06:23:59 PM
Why don't blind people sky dive?


Because it scares their dogs.
"It's only a matter of time before we get to the future."

Hbionic

hbionic

#13
August 03, 2005, 07:21:17 PM
Why do farts smell?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.
I said watch the game and you will see my spirit manifest.-ILLEAGLE 02/04/05

Dillen

#14
August 03, 2005, 08:43:36 PM
Quote from: Yeti on August 03, 2005, 06:23:59 PM
Why don't blind people sky dive?


Because it scares their dogs.

:-D :-D :-D
I had a couple good ones, but some people may take offense to it so I shall not say them.
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