I need an inflatable needle!

[MURP]

And if you make it to an interview with Gumbel on HBO Real Sports about how you beat up Bonds with your "needle" i'll throw in another $50.   

[QB Eagles]

The Giants are at Dodger Stadium April 12 and April 13. We wouldn't have to wait long.

[Seabiscuit36]

$20.00 to the Hbionic gets assaulted by Bonds fund

[fansince61]

I'm in for $20 if he throws it, $40 more if it makes the tube and will donate to legal expenses if needed

[General_Failure]

Remember, people are stupid. Write "STEROIDS" on the thing so people don't assume you want to baste him like a turkey.

[Diomedes]

Remember, people are stupid. Write "STEROIDS" on the thing so people don't assume you want to baste him like a turkey.

Chuggie:

Seriously, GF is right on.  People are staggeringly stupid.  You've got to hone the message down beyond obvious: dial it all the way down to "American" level: big, easy, no thought required.  Spoon feed 'em.  Don't confuse them with a weird costume, do spell it out as much as possible.
You really should blow the needle up at home and write STEROIDS on both sides with one of those giant Sharpies.  Let the writing dry well, then deflate it and blow it up again to make sure it will be ready for the game (writing hasn't blurred, etc.)  A side benefit to this dry run will be that you'll get some practice--though I understand you're not exactly ignorant of the subject--in blowing until the thing is ready.  Remember, you're gonna need to blow it hard and quick in the stands: security will respond promptly.

In fact since we're talking 'bout Chuggie here, I think you had better just buy two of them so if you totally screw the first one up, you'll have a back up.

[General_Failure]

And kiester one in case security finds the first. But I'm sure you already thought of that.

[PhillyPhreak54]

$20 if you hit him
$40 if you run on the field and make ESPN

[General_Failure]

$20 if you get some national airtime.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

$20 if you get some national airtime.

Great idea.  Write "STEROIDS" on one side and "CONCRETEFIELD.COM" on the other!

[General_Failure]

No! I do not want to see you trying to stick my domain name up Bonds' ass!

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Oh, so you want some pub for  , but you don't want THAT kind of pub.

Hypocrite.

[General_Failure]

It's for Satoshi's sake. Chuggie's new rump ranger followers will keep asking him if he's the hidden Asian porn.

[hbionic]

lmao at all you bastiches.

Dio...point taken...will do. [saluting]

[Diomedes]

So here's your tally of potential earnings, Chuggie:

Category I
For throwing the needle on the field/at Barry:

I hereby pledge $20 towards the Hbionic fund if he does this. Who else? How much can we raise?

$20, plus:

I'm in!! That's 40$ so far towards Bail!!

makes $40, plus:

$20 if it don't

makes $60, plus:

I'll throw in $20, too.

makes $80, plus:

I'm in for $20 if he throws it...

makes $100

Category II
For wearing the Nurses uniform AND getting on tv.

$100 if you are in the Nurses uniform and it makes the tube.

$100

Category III
Hit Bonds with inflatable needle

If you actually hit bonds with the needle I'll throw in $100.

$100, plus:

$20 if you hit him..

makes $120

Category IV
Bail money

obviously, if you make it this far, you'll be collecting on many of us
Count me in for $20 if you get arrested.

$20 plus:

...and will donate to legal expenses if needed

makes $20+

Category V
Make it on SportsCenter

$50 if it makes it to SportsCenter.

$50 plus:

...$40 more if it makes the tube..

makes $90, plus:

$40 if you run on the field and make ESPN

makes $130

Category VI
Get interviewed by Gumbel on HBO

And if you make it to an interview with Gumbel on HBO Real Sports about how you beat up Bonds with your "needle" i'll throw in another $50.

$50

Category VII
get assualted by Barry

$20.00 to the Hbionic gets assaulted by Bonds fund.

$20

Category VIII
Get some press for

$20 if you get some national airtime.

$20

I assume that all wagers are cumulative--that is to say: if you laid money on more than one category and both happen, you'll pay for both.  That's fair, I think.

So here's what you've got to do to make the most of these offers, Chuggie:
Dress up as the nurse, with a big Concretefield.com banner on your back.  Run onto the field and throw the needle at AND hit Barry.  Taunt him viciously and he will likely assault you..he is a 'roid head afterall.  Which reminds you...he's a big angry 'roid head, so you should run from him..all over the field until you have made a national spectacle of yourself on television and get yourself arrested.  Score an interview about the ordeal with Gumbel afterwards, and you'll net from us:

$540!
...plus $20 (and a promise of more from fansince61) for bail money. which you'll be expected to refund, I'm sure.  That's why they call it bail.

Get to work!