Holy Crap, They Suck: Phillies 2015

[Don Ho]

Nice crash landing today.  Looking like the bums we expected.  Jerome Williams needs to retire.  Maybe his goal is to be on every staff in the big leagues before he retires.  Hell, I swear he's pitched for half.

[QB Eagles]

They have the worst run differential in baseball. They clearly have the worst offense. At the end of the season, they will be a bottom 5 team in the standings, and they still have a decent shot at having the worst record overall.

Wild card is as obtainable as the World Series for this group. A six-game winning streak in May against other loser teams doesn't mean they're a decent team now.

[ice grillin you]

The absolute worst thing they need is to challenge for a wildcard.  They need to fail spectacularly enough to purge everyone over 30 and rid themselves of Roob.  Nothing else is acceptable to me nor should it be to anyone who isn't a completely hopeless homer.

I'd be happy as shtein if they contended for a wildcard, that means they're at least interesting. If the old folks keep this up they suddenly become valuable and are maybe tradeable in the offseason. Of course, I'm also 100% for getting rid of them all at any point but if they're not going to trade them at least they can make the season interesting...which I don't think they will anyway.

thing is you cant have both...if they contend for a wc which is laughable but lets just say they do then they aren't going to trade anyone....you either jay it up and think they can contend or you blow it up....generally the value of any player much less older players decreases greatly in the offseason....you can maximize their value at the trade deadline...going into another offseason with all these guys would be a massive failure

I can have it both ways

I'm 100% for trading Harang/Hamels/Grit/Howard/Paps/Chooch/Revere and whoever else might be worth a damn. But they're probably not moving any of those players till the deadline because they'll get max value at that point unless someone comes along with an offer they can't refuse or another team suffers a major injury. If any of those players are worth shtein now by all means get rid of them, I just don't think a team is suddenly going to ante up because of a 2 week spurt. So it's win/win, if they can make it interesting and contend for a WC (I don't have my hopes up, I'm not J, I'm a realist, but lets play optimist here) then great. If not they hold a fire sale. I still don't see Reuben holding a fire sale.

oh right its one or the other....I misunderstood you and thought you wanted them to be contending at the trade deadline but still trade everyone

[Don Ho]

They have the worst run differential in baseball. They clearly have the worst offense. At the end of the season, they will be a bottom 5 team in the standings, and they still have a decent shot at having the worst record overall.

Wild card is as obtainable as the World Series for this group. A six-game winning streak in May against other loser teams doesn't mean they're a decent team now.

Yep.  Loved the little 7 out of 8 streak, great to see them win but good lord, we could pick 25 random people off this board and take 7 of 8 from the Dbacks and Rockies.

[smeags]

They have the worst run differential in baseball. They clearly have the worst offense. At the end of the season, they will be a bottom 5 team in the standings, and they still have a decent shot at having the worst record overall.

Wild card is as obtainable as the World Series for this group. A six-game winning streak in May against other loser teams doesn't mean they're a decent team now.

Yep.  Loved the little 7 out of 8 streak, great to see them win but good lord, we could pick 25 random people off this board and take 7 of 8 from the Dbacks and Rockies.

i'm playing 1B !

[MDS]

P matty - a little out there, a little shady, but that makes a good pitcher. you know the moment wont get to him because he'll probably be on something during it
C romey - only way to keep matty focused out there
1B igy - i like a big target at first
2B sb - obvs
SS sunmo - the undisputed leader
3B rjs - good reaction time
LF smeags - meathead masher position
CF mds - covers ground, has big penis
RF sd - strong arm from beating women.
DH j - multitasking not one of his strong suits, will provide expert cheerleading on the bench when on defense

Coaches
geo - smart man, knows how to fill out a lineup card, too old to play
donho - cooky bench coach who might or might not know where he is, too old to play

Bat Boy
munson - can go to trailer park and come back with tons of dip and chew

[SD]

Hamels vetoed a trade Toronto

[PhillyPhreak54]

Any word on what the return would've been?

And I play 1B, son.

[Munson]

Yeah I'm definitely a defensive bench OFer.

[MDS]

Hamels vetoed a trade Toronto

if i read it correctly there was no official "trade," but merely some informal talks that were shut down because hamels didnt want to go there. 

[Don Ho]

Todd, that lineup is farging hilarious! 

[Geowhizzer]

Don Ho and I are "too old to play," but Romey's behind the plate... he's older than both of us!

[Rome]

I stopped playing softball in 2011 when my knee finally gave out.

The closest I get to playing now is wiffleball tournaments in the driveway. 

[Rome]

And ftr I still smash the ball because I use electrical tape on the bat.

[MDS]

Don Ho and I are "too old to play," but Romey's behind the plate... he's older than both of us!

henry blanco played until he was 42

mike matheny was  a manager at 41

some guys just still have it