We all like to drink. Some more than others, but we all like to drink. I thought it would be funny to hear some drunk stories. This one isn't my best one, but I will use it to get this party started.
When we were growing up we used to party in the woods and then climb the elementary school roof. One night when I was 16 we got really drunk and we were playing drunken soccer on the roof and the cops came. I hid inside an air vent that was the size of a bed with a plastic green cover on it. You had to go under and up, so it was like a tent or something. I was waiting it out and I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning and could'nt figure out where I was or how to get out. It took a little while to figure it out.
I got home and caught hell for being out all night. I told my folks I fell asleep on the school roof. My Dad said "That is one hell of an excuse" and pretty much let me off the hook.
I got drunk on my wedding night and ended up sleeping with two of the bridesmaids.
Good times.
Quote from: Jerome99RIP on March 18, 2006, 10:35:58 AM
I got drunk on my wedding night and ended up sleeping with two of the bridesmaids.
That's the way to start off a successful marriage. Good show.
Did your wife at least get gang banged by the best man and the ushers? It would only have been fair.
No. My wife was part of the foursome.
For God's sake, man... what kind of guy do you think I am?
???
You don't want me to answer that question honestly, so I just won't answer it. Ha.
lies
Thanks for clearing that up, wingnut. We were SO believing him too...
no problem, son of Tydeus
Less jiber jab, more drunk stories.
i went up to penn tech college in williamsport to visit some friends one weekend before i went off to college. got completly trashed and on the way back to my buddy apartment, i ran full force in a stop sign. well not as tall as a metal stop sign, it was about 4 ft tall. i tried to snap it. instead it catapulted me end over end and broke my leg. hairline fracture of the fibula. of course i walked back to the apartment not knowing it was broken, but i def hurt alittle. i didn't realize it was broke til 2 days later. when the doctor and parents asked how i did it, i said i collided with a guy playing volleyball and landed bad. he was just like, ok well lets get you an aircast. :-D
I also got drunk once and had sex with Hillary Clinton in a Victoria's Secret in Little Rock.
I did her in the dressing room as she was chowing down on the sales girl's snatch.
Veddy Hott.
Quote from: mussa on March 18, 2006, 12:58:37 PM
i went up to penn tech college in williamsport to visit some friends one weekend before i went off to college. got completly trashed and on the way back to my buddy apartment, i ran full force in a stop sign. well not as tall as a metal stop sign, it was about 4 ft tall. i tried to snap it. instead it catapulted me end over end and broke my leg. hairline fracture of the fibula. of course i walked back to the apartment not knowing it was broken, but i def hurt alittle. i didn't realize it was broke til 2 days later. when the doctor and parents asked how i did it, i said i collided with a guy playing volleyball and landed bad. he was just like, ok well lets get you an aircast. :-D
Douchebag goes bang.
(http://www.metacafe.com/watch/41922/stop_sign/)
i tried stealing a millet lite truck last night and was tossd out of the drivers seat and onto the sidewalk by a 500 lb dude
Quote from: PhillyPhaninDC on March 18, 2006, 02:25:08 PM
Quote from: mussa on March 18, 2006, 12:58:37 PM
i went up to penn tech college in williamsport to visit some friends one weekend before i went off to college. got completly trashed and on the way back to my buddy apartment, i ran full force in a stop sign. well not as tall as a metal stop sign, it was about 4 ft tall. i tried to snap it. instead it catapulted me end over end and broke my leg. hairline fracture of the fibula. of course i walked back to the apartment not knowing it was broken, but i def hurt alittle. i didn't realize it was broke til 2 days later. when the doctor and parents asked how i did it, i said i collided with a guy playing volleyball and landed bad. he was just like, ok well lets get you an aircast. :-D
Douchebag goes bang.
(http://www.metacafe.com/watch/41922/stop_sign/)
i clearly saw the sign in my story and i clearly thought i could snap it with my own force. clearly i was wrong. clearly that jackass in the video was sober.
One time in high school we went up to my buddies cabin in potter co. PA. It was x-mas break, we had like 12 dudes and a shtein load of booze. My one buddy was known to piss himself at night after drinking when he sleeps. so bad he had plastic covers over his electronic equipment in his room. this guy is a riot when he's wasted. he'll do anything. anyway i have a ton of stories about this guy, but this is one of the best.
back to the story, we all pass out after drinking heavily. apparently sometime in the middle of the night he gets up and starts taking a piss in my other buddies bag full of cloths for the weekend. totally sleep waking, totally out of his mind. i wake up for a second to my other buddy screaming at him, what the farg are u doing. so then they take him downstairs and instead of walking into the bathroom, he goes into the kitchen and starts pissing more. when hes done he spits like he's spitting into the crapper. the best part of the story is after hes done he goes upstairs, still out of it, and picks the wrong bed and flops on top of the guy who's bag he just pissed in. haha, no fargin lie. when we woke up in the morning he was like i don;t remeber doing any of it. jesus that was funny.
:-D Now that's what I'm talkin about.
Reminds me of a buddy of mine. I was up visiting friends at College. One of my buddys, Mike, was an O lineman sized dude with a heavy booze hand. We went out to a bunch of bars and then some parties. Somewhere along the way we lost him. The next morning some skinny freshman knocked on my buddies door and said "I think your friend passed out in our room. We walked over (to a different building) and sure enough Mike was passed out in the kids bed. I said "Was he out partying with you guys last night and the kid said "No, at three oclock in the morning he was banging on the door. My roommate opened the door. He pushed us out of the way, pissed on my speaker and passed out in my bed."
Welcome to College kid.
I have so many but one of the funniest was our Senior Week at Dewey Beach when we graduated highschool. We had 13 people who paid to stay in our condo which was directly across from Grotto Pizza on the ocean side. We had gone to the Dave Matthews concert at the Vet 3 weeks before and met abunch of the guys that had graduated the year before. They were calling our house the drug house :-D and these were exactly boyscouts. Of the 13 people that went down 10 of us had the forsight to buy beer and liquor and bring it down. Of the 10 each person brought 3-4 30packs. My friend chris picked me up in his moms minivan which had mine and 3 other peoples beer. The van was tilting back so much it looked like it was ready to take off.
We found the place at 9pm friday night after walking into the wrong house 20 minutes earlier but still managing to drink someone elses beers. Our house was ridiulous. Nitrous, a beerwall 5 1/2 feet tall and 3 1/2 feet thick it was on. Whipitz, beer, body shots of tequila off the chicks who stayed it was great. Then one by one people went missing. My cousin showed up at 1:30 am after going out at the rudder/northbeach/bottle and cork and made the best park job drunk ive ever seen. When he walked upstairs he was expecting a party but there was only 5 people still moving.
My boy was ripped out of his mind on Corona's w/bacardi limon he had about 10 and was falling all over. he went to put the moves on one of the girls staying at the place while we were talking all on the porch. My buddy sat down next to her and started feeling her leg, next thing you know he's rolling down the stairs on the deck from the second story to the first, puking along the way. Bile Bile Bile everywhere that night. He had a bad stretch of days. The next day cooking burgers he went to jump over the hibachi grill and knocked it over sending a burning coal into his hightops burnin the shtein out of his ankle.
Eventually we were kicked out Tueday after monday nights party got out of hand, during the day people were throwing bottles of corona at the Jolly Trolly that drives around and put a huge dent in the side with a bigslam filled with water. The cops showed up at 12am on the dot raiding the house people jumping off the decks to the ground and to adjacent condos. It ended up being the biggest bust in dewey but nothing happed of it du2 some of the parents of people staying there were wellknown. It was a crazy week completly drunk or lifted allday with maybe 2 hours of sleep a night.
are u drunk now? :-D
QuoteIt ended up being the biggest bust in dewey but nothing happed of it du2 some of the parents of people staying there were wellknown. It was a crazy week completly drunk or lifted allday with maybe 2 hours of sleep a night.
Quote from: mussa on March 18, 2006, 08:37:54 PM
are u drunk now? :-D
:-D
Been working on it since 5 8)
Most of my drunk stories come way of the Marine Corps. When I should have been in college I was running around with the same amount of booze as college kid, but was most of the time in strange cultures I didn't attempt to understand. Here is one of these stories:
Story #1:
It's New Year's eve 2002, and we're in some dive bar named Jacara in Hiroshima, Japan. This bar is an out of the way joint that is/was rarely frequented by Americans, military or otherwise. In the group, there is myself, my roommate, a short, eighteen year old kid from Arkansas who had never touched booze in his life, and lived in a town of maybe 100 people. Finally, there is a guy named Hunter, who is a 6'6" radio operator. Hunter is a beast, grew up on a farm in Washington, can drink more and maintain more so than anyone I have ever met. We are the only foreigners (gaijing) in the bar that night, and my friend and I have our "Japa-ho's" with us. There is an unusually large amount of Japanese businessmen who are piss drunk when we arrive around 10:00 at night. Upon seeing the group of us Americans, with a gigantic instance of such a person in tow, it becomes their mission to see how much it will cost to get us all drunk (this was a fairly common occurrence in most Asian countries, especially Japan. I believe this is the main reason I miss it so).
The businessmen begin to gather around Hunter, and make jokes and speak broken English with him. All the while feeding him shots of Tequila, Sake, Whiskey, and pints of good Japanese brew. When me or one of the other guys pass by they offer booze as well, but it is clear that are enamored with the giant American. This process goes on for several hours, until just after 1:00am, and Hunter is beginning show some adverse effects. We are all starving and the girls are wanting to go to a dance club, and stop along the way for some sushi. We begin to filter out of the bar, and once we are down the Elevator and outside, we realize Hunter is MIA.
A couple of us fly back upstairs and begin to search the extremely small, extremely crowded bar for a huge, white dude. We have no luck, and head back toward the exit. The guy I am with notices some commotion back by the restrooms. We make our way back, pushing little Japanese girls this way and that (this bar was seriously the size of a tiny studio apartment), and once we get back near one of the two unisex bathrooms, we see Hunter.
Passed out on the toilet, pants around his ankles and his head back, mouth agape and snoring. The door is open, and there is a throng of Japanese people gesturing to his man-tackle and saying things like Sugoi! (Wow, super, amazing, etc.). They have their high-tech cell phones out and are taking pictures of Hunter's twig and berries and sending them off to their friends. One girl advances, reaches down and begins to tug on his dork as if trying to pull a gun from a holster.
At this point my friend and I are hysterical, unable to move. Eventually, we are able to get it together, advance into the bathroom, get Hunter back together and get him out of the bar. We eat and walk him around getting him just sober enough to function. About 6:00am, we make our way back to the train station to head back to the base. We got him in his room, dropped his heavy ass into his rack, and never mentioned the incident. Still, to this day, I have no doubt that Hunter is a legend among the Japanese people of Hiroshima.
:-D Now that is a god damn funny story. :yay
Awesome. I found the bar's website. Ha. (http://www.jacara.net/)
you lost me at twig and berries
But "man tackle" you were still OK with. Hmmmm. Interesting
I made the mistake of becoming enamored with a drink recipe from the renowned sheep farger "Tomahawk" called an El Nino. I had been drinking these shots for about a year and getting pretty much horizontal at my neighborhood establishments. After this year was up, I took the formula to the west coast on a business trip. The recipe was modified by the bartender in Newport to replace the Captain Morgans with Bacardi 151. Now here is the problem. These shots can be consumed very rapidly with very little alcohol affects felt immediately. I ordered several rounds and we all consumed them. After 6-8 shots no one wanted anymore even though there were two shakers full on the bar. I called them a bunch of Hoydas and proceeded to drink both shakers in the next 10 minutes. I really don't remember much after that but this is what was told to me. I beat up a 19 year old kid who had no ID and was denied booze. Evidently he gave my bartender friend a hard time about not serving him. So I beat him to a pulp in the alley out back. I puked on my bosses brand new Bruno Maglis. I knocked down all the stalls in the men's room because someone was in my favorite stall. I lost $700 playing fooseball. My friend payed a cab driver $100 to get me back to my hotel and make sure I got in the door. I don't have even a vague memory of any of these antics. I woke up 2 days later and had to buy a news paper to be convinced it was Saturday nad not Friday.
You don't need a newspaper to tell that story sucked wang.
Having never been drunk, I have no stories to tell.
End of the semester and I went out drinking, my roommate stayed in because of a final the next day. I played a bunch of games of beirut. I came back and felt tipsy, but went to sleep. Next morning I wake up, not feeling the best, but feeling ok. My roommate comes back from his test and asks if I was alright. I said, "fine why do you ask"
"Because last night you were makeing all sorts of gaging sounds, like you were going to puke, tossing and turning. Then at one point you walked over here, and it sounded like you were pissing."
I walked over to where he was pointing, I inspected the floor, nothing. Then i started walking back to my bed and found a huge wet spot in the carpet...
I have too many - I think I could write a book.
My 21st birthday was pretty bad. I thought I had alcohol poisoning. I ended up becoming so drunk that I passed out standing up while splashing water on my face in the bathroom. I went backwards and right through the wall in our bathroom. In a brand new apartment complex. I fell asleep in the plaster and wood and was woken up by my girlfriend and best friend. They heard the crash while they were washing my puke off the balcony.
We had a bachelor's party in DC a few years back (1998 in think). It started out pretty tame, laser tag and Hooters for dinner. We get back to the apartment, and shots of Scotch with Bigfoot Barleywine Ale chasers start making the rounds. I remember the stripper showing up, and whipping the groom with his belt, because the Best Man said that was too over the top. I don't remember much else, I have a vague memory of the stripper grabbing my tool on her way to get dressed....
Then I remember being wakened by the groom (passed out one the couch). He wanted my help getting a friend of ours off the balcony. He'd just had back surgery, and was sleeping on the central air unit. He had puked over the balcony several times, it was quite a mess. We had a helluva time getting him in the apartment, said the unit was "comfortable". Waiting in line to puke in the abused toilet sucked. A lot.
By morning, no one looked too good. Best man had 3 dozen eggs to make breakfast with. Still had them uncooked when I left.
I'll post this one since Phreak and Z were there. I met up with a bunch of people off the EMB in 2002 to see the Eagles take on the Rams with AJ Feeley at the helm. Needless to say, it was freezing out, and the one thing that warmed me up was beer. I probably had close to 3 six packs or so when Beermonkey showed up with a gallon of Alabama Slammer. After that, I was annihilated. Our seats were in the 700 level and I think it was the 3rd quarter or so when I got up to use the bathroom. I took a spill ass first down the 700 level steps, didn't spill a drop of beer, and got up to do the E-A-G-L-E-S chant with the guy in our section. What a proud moment. The next day I had a roughly 6x6 bleeding welt on my ass and a sore talibone. God Bless you guys.
That day was great! :-D
I was so piss drunk that I didn't even realize ND Kalu had 4 sacks. I remember turning to you guys and saying "ND Kalu had 4 sacks? I don't remember one!"
Quote from: PhillyPhreak54 on March 20, 2006, 12:43:28 AM
That day was great! :-D
I was so piss drunk that I didn't even realize ND Kalu had 4 sacks. I remember turning to you guys and saying "ND Kalu had 4 sacks? I don't remember one!"
And I remember asking you about 4 times if the Giants lost to the Titans. I thought you were going to slap me. hahahaha. Remember that tool sitting in front of us that I spilled beer on?
Haha! I remember asking that too! "Dude...diiiid thuuuuh giannnnnts looose"?!? :-D
I remember that guy too. He was a weasel with two hot chicks and he ignored them because he was more worried about his headphones. I wanted to punch him when he kept looking back at you like he wanted to fight. I think thats why EE and my aunt suggested that we change seats. :-D
Quote from: stalker on March 19, 2006, 02:15:07 PM
I made the mistake of becoming enamored with a drink recipe from the renowned sheep farger "Tomahawk" called an El Nino. I had been drinking these shots for about a year and getting pretty much horizontal at my neighborhood establishments. After this year was up, I took the formula to the west coast on a business trip. The recipe was modified by the bartender in Newport to replace the Captain Morgans with Bacardi 151. Now here is the problem. These shots can be consumed very rapidly with very little alcohol affects felt immediately. I ordered several rounds and we all consumed them. After 6-8 shots no one wanted anymore even though there were two shakers full on the bar. I called them a bunch of Hoydas and proceeded to drink both shakers in the next 10 minutes. I really don't remember much after that but this is what was told to me. I beat up a 19 year old kid who had no ID and was denied booze. Evidently he gave my bartender friend a hard time about not serving him. So I beat him to a pulp in the alley out back. I puked on my bosses brand new Bruno Maglis. I knocked down all the stalls in the men's room because someone was in my favorite stall. I lost $700 playing fooseball. My friend payed a cab driver $100 to get me back to my hotel and make sure I got in the door. I don't have even a vague memory of any of these antics. I woke up 2 days later and had to buy a news paper to be convinced it was Saturday nad not Friday.
I told you to be careful with that shtein. "El Nino - it's a tropical weather storm in your head."
Since the seal has already been broken with the piss stories, I'll share mine:
I was a senior in high school when a buddy's parents bought us a keg of the newly invented Icehouse. After drinking enough, mostly via kegstands, to kill a lesser man, I finally pass out somewhere. I don't remember a buddy waking me up asking me, "WHAT THE farg ARE YOU DOING." To which I apparently replied, "I'm farging pissing. What the farg does it look like I'm doing." Unfortunately, I was pissing in my buddies freezer. Fortunately, the ice tray was at dick height.
When we were all finally awake, the guy who woke me started to tell me what happened, but cut himself off mid-story to ask a couple of other friends where the got the ice for their pops at. They told us how it was weird that they had to chip away at the ice to break it apart. They were pretty upset when he told us why. To this day, when I ask one of them how my piss tastes, he still gets pretty pissed.
hhahaha jesus frickin christ :-D :-D :paranoid :-D
This thread seems to be the official 'this one time I got so drunk and...' thread. Not shockingly I have lots of these stories, but prefer to tell them off the cuff so I probably won't be pitching in to this thread.
Having said that, please keep telling your stories. Good entertainment.
There are several very entertaining stories in this thread. If I had to pick a winner so far, Thawks story had me pissin myself.
But not in an icetray
Quote from: rjs246 on March 20, 2006, 07:14:57 PM
This thread seems to be the official 'this one time I got so drunk and...' thread. Not shockingly I have lots of these stories, but prefer to tell them off the cuff so I probably won't be pitching in to this thread.
Having said that, please keep telling your stories. Good entertainment.
Contribute to this tread or I will beat you with your fake arm.
Technically and thankfully, I didn't piss myself either.
Quote from: Tomahawk on March 20, 2006, 03:03:39 PM
Quote from: stalker on March 19, 2006, 02:15:07 PM
I made the mistake of becoming enamored with a drink recipe from the renowned sheep farger "Tomahawk" called an El Nino. I had been drinking these shots for about a year and getting pretty much horizontal at my neighborhood establishments. After this year was up, I took the formula to the west coast on a business trip. The recipe was modified by the bartender in Newport to replace the Captain Morgans with Bacardi 151. Now here is the problem. These shots can be consumed very rapidly with very little alcohol affects felt immediately. I ordered several rounds and we all consumed them. After 6-8 shots no one wanted anymore even though there were two shakers full on the bar. I called them a bunch of Hoydas and proceeded to drink both shakers in the next 10 minutes. I really don't remember much after that but this is what was told to me. I beat up a 19 year old kid who had no ID and was denied booze. Evidently he gave my bartender friend a hard time about not serving him. So I beat him to a pulp in the alley out back. I puked on my bosses brand new Bruno Maglis. I knocked down all the stalls in the men's room because someone was in my favorite stall. I lost $700 playing fooseball. My friend payed a cab driver $100 to get me back to my hotel and make sure I got in the door. I don't have even a vague memory of any of these antics. I woke up 2 days later and had to buy a news paper to be convinced it was Saturday nad not Friday.
I told you to be careful with that shtein. "El Nino - it's a tropical weather storm in your head."
Since the seal has already been broken with the piss stories, I'll share mine:
I was a senior in high school when a buddy's parents bought us a keg of the newly invented Icehouse. After drinking enough, mostly via kegstands, to kill a lesser man, I finally pass out somewhere. I don't remember a buddy waking me up asking me, "WHAT THE farg ARE YOU DOING." To which I apparently replied, "I'm farging pissing. What the farg does it look like I'm doing." Unfortunately, I was pissing in my buddies freezer. Fortunately, the ice tray was at dick height.
When we were all finally awake, the guy who woke me started to tell me what happened, but cut himself off mid-story to ask a couple of other friends where the got the ice for their pops at. They told us how it was weird that they had to chip away at the ice to break it apart. They were pretty upset when he told us why. To this day, when I ask one of them how my piss tastes, he still gets pretty pissed.
So what exactly is in the El Nino? I just might have to give it try.
"El Nino, which means, THE NINO!"
- 2 Parts Captain Morgan Private Stock (Captain Morgan is an acceptable substitute, especially if the Private Stock is too sweet for you)
- 1 Part Malibu (or Parrot Bay)
- 1 Part Bacardi Limon
- 1 Part Midori (Watermelon Schnapps is NOT an acceptable substitute)
Top it off with orange juice (or pineapple juice if you're feeling tropical), shake well, disregard the putrid color, and enjoy.
I've been known tgo replace the Captain Morgan with 151. Be prepared for the after effects if you do, the day after is a complete loss if you do. If you do it seven times, you waste a week of your life.
Alrighty thanks guys.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Ok...since I'm a beer drinker and occasional liqour drinker....when you say 'parts'...is that a 1/4, 1/2 or full ounce of said liqour?
It's whatever you want it to be. If you make 1 part equal to 1 ounce than 2 parts are equal to 2 ounces.
Let x = 1 quart
Then 1x = 1 quart
2x= 1/2 gallon
4x= 1 gallon
That was my assumption...but just wanted to make sure. I hear it so much that sometimes when you put too much of something...it fargs the drink up.
Werd.
Quote from: PhillyPhreak54 on March 20, 2006, 12:43:28 AM
That day was great! :-D
I was so piss drunk that I didn't even realize ND Kalu had 4 sacks. I remember turning to you guys and saying "ND Kalu had 4 sacks? I don't remember one!"
I was at that game, and didn't remember that either 'till they announced it at the end. I think I was 14 or 15.
el nino is a bangin ass margarita at chilis
IGY drinks margarita's. IGY's a girlie drink drunk!
Quote from: Tomahawk on March 21, 2006, 01:22:23 AM
- 2 Parts Captain Morgan Private Stock (Captain Morgan is an acceptable substitute, especially if the Private Stock is too sweet for you)
- 1 Part Malibu (or Parrot Bay)
- 1 Part Bacardi Limon
- 1 Part Midori (Watermelon Schnapps is NOT an acceptable substitute)
Top it off with orange juice (or pineapple juice if you're feeling tropical), shake well, disregard the putrid color, and enjoy.
IGY,
Do you think they sing the Captain Morgan song while making this drink?
So lastnight was my 26th birthday it started out very zesty, the only thing that made me happy was that Texas lost. I went and got some beers and met up with a few buddies. We went out shot some pool than decided to go to a club. We got there and I decided to pull some money out I found that half of my sign on bonus had been deposited into my account so things really started looking up. I proceeded to get trashed, met a smokin hot 30 year old Honduran chick. We went to a cheap hotel room and had sex all night it was awesome. I felt like I was in Spanish porno. Since I've been in Basic Training and AIT for the last five months it was the first time I got laid in a while. Feeling pretty good about life right now.
I wasn't drunk and it's not really funny, but I'm not sure where else to put this:
Last night I was at Temple Star China Food, and outside of it was this crackhead (maybe stillupfront) with an orange jumpsuit with all this weird crap written all over it. He asks me if I've got any money, I tell him that I'll see what kind of change I get. So I go in and order my meal, it's $2.75 (what do you expect on Broad and Diamond at a place that probably violates about 50 different health codes?). I then walk outside, the guy has this big smile on his face like he's gonna get a few dollars to go to his crack money (though he claimed it was bus fare). Despite having plenty of money in my wallet, I give him the quarter I got and thats it. The look on his face was priceless.
During college I went back to a buddy mine's place who owned a house on campus. I was completely trashed and I walk in his house and another one of our buddies passed out drunk so they handcuffed him to a radiator and pulled his pants down and stuck a condom in his ass. They also put lipstick and crap all over his face I could not stop laughing for like two days straight.
Another time at the same house I come back from my girls place after a drunkin late night creep and find my friend (the owner of the house) passed out in his underwear with the oven on and the stove top as well with water boiling over everywhere. That was fargin hilarious.
Quote from: Drunkmasterflex on March 26, 2006, 11:21:56 AM
So lastnight was my 26th birthday it started out very zesty, the only thing that made me happy was that Texas lost. I went and got some beers and met up with a few buddies. We went out shot some pool than decided to go to a club. We got there and I decided to pull some money out I found that half of my sign on bonus had been deposited into my account so things really started looking up. I proceeded to get trashed, met a smokin hot 30 year old Honduran chick. We went to a cheap hotel room and had sex all night it was awesome. I felt like I was in Spanish porno. Since I've been in Basic Training and AIT for the last five months it was the first time I got laid in a while. Feeling pretty good about life right now.
You know you could've called me and told me that story bro.
Quote from: NGM on March 26, 2006, 11:53:24 AM
Quote from: Drunkmasterflex on March 26, 2006, 11:21:56 AM
So lastnight was my 26th birthday it started out very zesty, the only thing that made me happy was that Texas lost. I went and got some beers and met up with a few buddies. We went out shot some pool than decided to go to a club. We got there and I decided to pull some money out I found that half of my sign on bonus had been deposited into my account so things really started looking up. I proceeded to get trashed, met a smokin hot 30 year old Honduran chick. We went to a cheap hotel room and had sex all night it was awesome. I felt like I was in Spanish porno. Since I've been in Basic Training and AIT for the last five months it was the first time I got laid in a while. Feeling pretty good about life right now.
You know you could've called me and told me that story bro.
Don't worry I will.
way to get all that built up energy out DMF. :yay
i tryed to fistfight myself once.. that was cool.
DMF,
Are you in Ft. Hood?
Right after my graduation from PSU the ladyfriend and a bunch of my highschool buddies graduated from their school and I went down for the weekend to celebrate. My buddy's frat had a huge pork roast and at the end of the day there were about 30 pounds of leftover meat, most of which was whole pork butts. After drinking all day and bar hopping all night a bunch of us got back to his frat house and started eating the leftover pork.
As we were eating we were also taking turns punching and headbutting each other. Obviously. Finally we realized that we could combine the two activities into a delicious new form of fighting. So we dug the fingers on each hand into a pork butt and used the butts as boxing gloves. Bam! Pork Boxing was born. We beat the hell out of each other for a couple of hours before we were ready to pass out. I had only packed one pair of pants so I had to meet up with the ladyfriend's family and sit through graduation with them while REAKING of roasted pork.
:-D
Two of my buddies and me decided to go visit my friend over in Kutztown. Two of us got loaded on the way up while the other drove. Our friend calls us on the way up and says we have to meet him out at a party instead of going to his apartment. We stop of and grab a 30 pack of Old Mudd and proceed to the party. When we get there, there are a bunch of meathead football players who insist that newcomers have to shotgun beers. About ten shotguns later we all head out to the bar. They were doing a Jager promotion at the bar that night and out buddy knew one of the girls. So we were getting free shot of Jager all night. Sometime around 1:00 AM we leave to go to another bar, the bouncer saw the state I was in and refused to let me enter (I was blacked out at this point). My friends go into the bar to rip a shot and leave me outside. Next thing I know I wake up the next morning in the back of a car which I assumed was my friend's who had driven up. It took me about ten seconds to realized it wasn't. So here I am in the back of a Ford Focus with no idea where I am. I call my buddies to ask where they were so I could meet up. They said they had no idea because I had wondered off at the last bar. I walk to the nearest Turkey Hill and ask him how far I am from my buddies apartment complex. He says that that is in Kutztown which is a half hour away.
So basically I woke up in the back of an unknown car in an unknown town with no idea how I had gotten there. Scary shtein.
Quote from: NGM on March 26, 2006, 08:59:46 PM
Two of my buddies and me decided to go visit my friend over in Kutztown. Two of us got loaded on the way up while the other drove. Our friend calls us on the way up and says we have to meet him out at a party instead of going to his apartment. We stop of and grab a 30 pack of Old Mudd and proceed to the party. When we get there, there are a bunch of meathead football players who insist that newcomers have to shotgun beers. About ten shotguns later we all head out to the bar. They were doing a Jager promotion at the bar that night and out buddy knew one of the girls. So we were getting free shot of Jager all night. Sometime around 1:00 AM we leave to go to another bar, the bouncer saw the state I was in and refused to let me enter (I was blacked out at this point). My friends go into the bar to rip a shot and leave me outside. Next thing I know I wake up the next morning in the back of a car which I assumed was my friend's who had driven up. It took me about ten seconds to realized it wasn't. So here I am in the back of a Ford Focus with no idea where I am. I call my buddies to ask where they were so I could meet up. They said they had no idea because I had wondered off at the last bar. I walk to the nearest Turkey Hill and ask him how far I am from my buddies apartment complex. He says that that is in Kutztown which is a half hour away.
So basically I woke up in the back of an unknown car in an unknown town with no idea how I had gotten there. Scary shtein.
And your ass hurt when you woke up. It's okay, no one here will make fun of you for telling the real ending.
Seriously.
:paranoid
:-D I was waiting for that. Mine shins were all banged up and I had a substantial lump on the side of my dome. My a-hole felt fine. And believe me, it was one of the first things I thought about.
What club were you at?
Most likely the Blue Oyster
Quote from: PhillyPhreak54 on March 27, 2006, 07:44:42 PM
What club were you at?
I think it was called Fusion, uh yeah Fusion. It sucked because it is not really my scene but it was quite the meat market.
Fusion? Is that the one that is out by the Mickey's on Highway 195 in Killeen?
That place has changed names so many time I forgot what its called now.
Quote from: PhillyPhreak54 on March 27, 2006, 08:21:43 PM
Fusion? Is that the one that is out by the Mickey's on Highway 195 in Killeen?
That place has changed names so many time I forgot what its called now.
I have no clue.
:-D
I think it is. That is the place where I spent my 21st birthday. Good night. Totally shteinfaced.
Lastnight I was sitting in my room having a gin and tonic when one of my Sgts came into my room and said that I had to get rid of all my alcohol. I of course was a more than a little pissed off. It turns out that one of the other drunken soldiers decided to go swimming in our back parking lot, it becomes a lake after any substantial rain. He was also mooning people and whatnot. Normally this wouldn't be much of a problem but there was a FRG meeting which is a family support group. Of course when this idiot was doing this all the wives and high brass decided it was time to leave. This was not the first incident but it was the proverbial straw. This means I have to smuggle booze like I am a goddamn 16 year old.
Are you in a barracks? And if so.....why they hell are they having FRGs there?
The barracks' that I always wound up looked like Animal House on a daily basis. They used special paint on the cinderblock so shtein (vomit, booze, bodily fluids, etc.) wouldn't stick to it. Officers, senior enlisted, and any people with any morals, even loosely held ones, stayed the farg away.
Quote from: PhillyPhaninDC on April 21, 2006, 08:14:35 PM
Are you in a barracks? And if so.....why they hell are they having FRGs there?
The barracks' that I always wound up looked like Animal House on a daily basis. They used special paint on the cinderblock so shtein (vomit, booze, bodily fluids, etc.) wouldn't stick to it. Officers, senior enlisted, and any people with any morals, even loosely held ones, stayed the farg away.
I am in a brand new unit so we don't have a lot of facilties yet, the whole animal house thing that is kind of how it is here that is what they are trying to curtail.
In college, at this bar where you could get in with a note from your mom, me and a buddy were drinking during what they called Therapy which was a pitcher of the Beast and a couple test tube Kamikazie shot for 5 bucks I think, kinda hazy on the price after a few years.
Well, we had been drinking pretty ard all night and got there and polished off most of the pitcher and the first round of shots. We got a second serving of therapy and the shot just hit my buddy's stomach wrong, he turned kinda red and blue at the same time and lookedl ike he was gonna puke. So I handed him the pitcher we had just polished off, and he puked into it.
I grabbed it and put it down on the bar and we bugged out of there. Well were about a 1/4 block away when the bouncer comes running out of the bar with this pitcher of puke, yelling bloody murder. It's about 20 F outside so the pitcher is steaming in the cold air. Funny sight, big football player type dude holding a steaming glass pitcher of vomit. God, I wish cell phone cameras were around back then.
I was laughing so hard I could barely keep walking away...
I'm half in the bag now...
Rainy night + case of beer + playoff hockey = awesome.