Out of all my closest friends, I think I'm the only one who has never cheated on a girlfriend. I'm not married yet, but I'd never cheat on my wife when I am married. I just think it's nasty thing to do. But I have friends including one now, who has a steady girlfriend and cheats on her on a regular basis. It's a shame too because she's real nice and she'd be devastated if she found out. We are pretty good friends so it annoys me a little, but I'd never tell her because I don't interfere with other people's business. On top of that I'd have to rat out a friend of mine.
So what boat are you in? Are you a loyalist or do you care about the fun and sleep around on your girlfriend or wife?
If I were you, I would tell my friend he has to cut off the cheating or else go tell. I may an icehole, but I would never cheat and think anyone who does is scum.
You'd think it would be entertainment if I told her, but it wouldn't. She'd have a total breakdown if she found out.
Well that won't be your problem. Plus if shes hot, you can bait her into pissed off get back at him sex. Sure that'll eventually ruin the friendship, but it was going downhill anyway.
My friendship with him isn't going downhill. I don't like him any less for doing what he's doing. I just think it's wrong because she's a nice girl and I know her personally, and she's always been very nice to me whenever we hung out.
I used to have a different outlook on this issue, but as I've gotten older I've learned to respect women a heck of a lot more than I did 5 years ago. I've never mistreated women, but when I was in my teens I probably would've cheated if the opportunity presented itself. Although it didn't, so I never have. Right now I wouldn't even if it did present itself.
I cheated on a girlfriend one time back in highschool and that's it. Even when I was married I never cheated even though I had several opportunities not to mention that I was completely unhappy as well.
Now I don't have to worry about cheatiing because I don't keep a "steady" girlfriend. I just date who I want, when I want. Good times.
It's my personal view that a "girlfriend" doesn't necessarily imply monogamy. If you're engaged or married, it's another story.
Quote from: MDS on February 20, 2006, 12:17:47 AM
If I were you, I would tell my friend he has to cut off the cheating or else go tell. I may an icehole, but I would never cheat and think anyone who does is scum.
I agree with you, but your opinion on this matter means nothing until you do the following:
1. Actually get a girlfriend. Someone who's willing to make out with you and do some heavy petting.
2. Then find ANOTHER girl that actually wants to get down with you.
So, you won't be able to speak from experience for quite some time.
Quote from: Susquehanna Birder on February 20, 2006, 07:10:21 AM
It's my personal view that a "girlfriend" doesn't necessarily imply monogamy. If you're engaged or married, it's another story.
most women would disagree.
and i take that as your answer to the question above as a "yes" ;)
I'm a loyalist. Have been for dang near 17 years (13 marriage, 4 dating/engaged).
Man, I'm getting old.
Quote from: Philly Forever on February 20, 2006, 12:53:27 AM
My friendship with him isn't going downhill.
Is it possible that your relationship with your friend
is being affected by his behavior? Seems to me, his running around has put you in the lousy position of having to lie (at least by ommission) to another friend (the girl.) Do you resent him for making you take part in decieving this chick? If so, time to tell him as much.
It's obviously on your brain enough to prompt you into the ridiculous action of sharing the situation with a bunch of football message board losers.
Regarding cheating myself, I have never cheated (not counting high school crap). I figgered out early on that if you really want to be consumed by jealosy and suspicion regarding what your woman is doing, the best way is to cheat on her. Then you're doomed to suspect her, and you've given her good reason. Best to stay the hell away from it. If you are VERY clear with the chick that you don't want to stay monogomous, and she's cool with it, that's another story. But a word to the wise: almost NO women are cool with it. Even the ones who think they are.
i was with a married woman, but i was single at the time.
I've never done it; never would. More than anything, I don't feel the need to create that kind of drama and it certainly wouldn't be worth it. I had a friend I lived with who cheated on his longtime girlfriend contantly, and I liked them both. That was a lousy spot to be in. I was still friends with the guy, but I always resented the spot he put me in when those times rolled in.
Quote from: Wingspan on February 20, 2006, 08:26:12 AMmost women would disagree.
I'm happy for 'em. The problem is that the term "girlfriend" is a little to...er...broad.
Quoteand i take that as your answer to the question above as a "yes" ;)
You'd be taking incorrectly, then.
You tell me. I'm married now and have never cheated on my wife... never will.
But before I met and got serious with her, I dated... a lot.
There were girls who I'd go out with in HS and college, some have sex with and all that, but it wasn't necessarily monogamous. There are very few women I've ever called my "girlfriend" and those women I have been faithful to. It's just that it had to get to that point though. I had to get to that point of caring for them that much to pass on another opportunity from another woman if it came along.
Quote from: Susquehanna Birder on February 20, 2006, 11:00:01 AM
Quote from: Wingspan on February 20, 2006, 08:26:12 AMmost women would disagree.
I'm happy for 'em. The problem is that the term "girlfriend" is a little to...er...broad.
my definition of girlfriend is someone who you are exclusively dating.
i've never cheated on anyone. but i did seriously considered at one point (the girlfriend before i started dating my now wife, and no i didnt consider cheating on my then current gf, with my now wife). i never went through with it, i broke up with her instead.
That's sort of what I did, too. I had been dating my now wife for a couple of years, but she starting becoming a pain in the ass and this other girl came along who was willing and able.
So, instead of cheating, I broke up with my girlfriend and started up with the new girl who had also just gotten out of a relationship and didn't want to get really serious. My now wife was shocked when she learned how quickly I picked up with someone else, and she realized that she'd been a pain in the ass. After a month, my now wife had a new attitude and wanted to get back together. So, I put out some ground rules, got back together...and here we are happy and healthy the better part of 15 years later.
Going with that other girl was the best thing that could have happened for my marriage ;).
Never have, although the opportunity was there in my second marriage, and never will. I'll never be the one that someone is cheating with, either. I was with one woman that I had been seeing for about a month back in the early 90's. Found out she was married, and dropped her like she was made of radioactive material. Good thing, too. She turned out to be something of a strange bird with serious self esteem and emotional issues. :paranoid
Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Quote from: rjs246 on February 20, 2006, 03:12:19 PM
Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
"Yeah, well... that symptom is farging my wife!"
When Harry Met Sally.
BTW, anyone who hasn't had the opportunity to cheat on their significant other has to be hideously unattractive. Chicks flock to a man in a relationship like flies to a fresh shtein-patty.
Quote from: rjs246 on February 20, 2006, 04:35:19 PM
BTW, anyone who hasn't had the opportunity to cheat on their significant other has to be hideously unattractive. Chicks flock to a man in a relationship like flies to a fresh shtein-patty.
This man speaketh the truth. When I was married I had more women hitting on me than I ever had both before and after.
Exactly, and this is Sarge we're talking about. You know he wasn't wooing them with his stellar wit and winning personality.
Quote from: rjs246 on February 20, 2006, 04:40:12 PM
Exactly, and this is Sarge we're talking about. You know he wasn't wooing them with his stellar wit and winning personality.
Ok, that's enough truth speaking.
That made me laugh.
as scummy as cheating is, ratting out your friend is infinitely more scummy. bros before hoes. suck it up and deal with it, it's his life let him do what he wants with it. don't be a narc.
if it really bothers you that much, lay out some ground rules about it with your friend.
Quote from: L-ong-B-each-I-ggle on February 20, 2006, 07:40:07 PM
as scummy as cheating is, ratting out your friend is infinitely more scummy. bros before hoes. suck it up and deal with it, it's his life let him do what he wants with it. don't be a narc.
if it really bothers you that much, lay out some ground rules about it with your friend.
Meh, it depends. Is this chick like, super, insane hottie type good looking? If she is so hot that you may get one or two more chances in your life to throw a bone at the kind of hottness, do the aforementioned "after she finds out pissed off sex". You'll get more friends, but nailing a super hot chick is/can be an oppurtunity that come along only so often.
Another idea, if you do go that route, video tape it and send a copy to your by then former friend. He may forgive you based on the awesomeness of it. More than likely, he'll just kill you.*
*This post is not meant to taken seriously.
Quote from: L-ong-B-each-I-ggle on February 20, 2006, 07:40:07 PM
as scummy as cheating is, ratting out your friend is infinitely more scummy. bros before hoes. suck it up and deal with it, it's his life let him do what he wants with it. don't be a narc.
if it really bothers you that much, lay out some ground rules about it with your friend.
So, you're saying that "betraying" a friend by telling his wife of infidelity is worse than the husband's betrayal of his wedding vows?
Can't say I agree with that.
QuoteYou'll get more friends, but nailing a super hot chick is/can be an oppurtunity that come along only so often.
This is hands down the worst advice ever. There are always hot chicks, and the magic of being a dude is that as you get older, you get better looking in the eyes of hot chicks. So you'll always have a shot at nailing superhot hotties.
Friends are far harder to come by. If you would sacrifice a friendship just to bone a chick that you think is hot, you're a farging idiot.
Quote from: Geowhizzer on February 20, 2006, 07:53:35 PM
Quote from: L-ong-B-each-I-ggle on February 20, 2006, 07:40:07 PM
as scummy as cheating is, ratting out your friend is infinitely more scummy. bros before hoes. suck it up and deal with it, it's his life let him do what he wants with it. don't be a narc.
if it really bothers you that much, lay out some ground rules about it with your friend.
So, you're saying that "betraying" a friend by telling his wife of infidelity is worse than the husband's betrayal of his wedding vows?
Can't say I agree with that.
rjs, while I agree with you in principle, the subject(s) of this thread aren't married so it really doesn't apply.
Quote from: rjs246 on February 20, 2006, 07:55:04 PM
QuoteYou'll get more friends, but nailing a super hot chick is/can be an oppurtunity that come along only so often.
This is hands down the worst advice ever. There are always hot chicks, and the magic of being a dude is that as you get older, you get better looking in the eyes of hot chicks. So you'll always have a shot at nailing superhot hotties.
Friends are far harder to come by. If you would sacrifice a friendship just to bone a chick that you think is hot, you're a farging idiot.
I also agree with this. As I'm nearing 30 I've noticed that the quality of tang I'm tasting is dramatically improving. Not to mention the fact that [Wooderson]even though I'm getting older, the women I'm dating are staying the saaaaaaaame age[/Wooderson].
I agree that marriage makes things even stickier, but really, going for the bone job of a friend's ex-girlfriend, especially in close proximity to their breakup, is pretty zesty.
or you could get your own hot chick dc, instead of pickin at other peoples table scraps.
marriage is another ball game geo. but basically there's a key word in "his wedding vows". that would be "his".
Quote from: L-ong-B-each-I-ggle on February 20, 2006, 08:05:51 PM
or you could get your own hot chick dc, instead of pickin at other peoples table scraps.
marriage is another ball game geo. but basically there's a key word in "his wedding vows". that would be "his".
After 13 years of wedded bliss, I sometimes forget that there's anything else. ;)
I admit that I was still fairly young when I married (22), so there was really little time in the gray area of "dating." I had a couple of relationships in high school that had gotten fairly serious, but only by high school standards, and none of them lasted more than a few months.
My wife and I started dating in college, and were engaged in our junior year. To me, being engaged entails the same promises as marriage- perhaps not the formalized vows, but a woman (or man) should be able to reasonably expect that her/his partner is being faithful.
And I have to agree with Sarge and RJS: Women seem to find me much more attractive at age 35 than they did when I was in my 20s. My guess is that I am a nicer, more confident and mature man than I was in my younger days. Also, I think I somehow exude "married man," so they know I'm safe for them to flirt with. Now, my fliritng back could be filled with danger, so I fight that temptation as well. :D
I can tell you from experience that when it comes to married men, women see it as 1 of 2 ways.
1. It's a challenge to them. You're wedding ring has branded your fleshpop store as "Closed" and they want to try and extend business hours.
2. If a women decided that you are the single one person she wants to spend her life with then there must be something amazing about you and a single woman wants to see what you've got to offer that the men she's been dating don't have.
I edited my original post. Ya bunch of Hoydas. :P
Conform to our ways bitch.
Quote from: MDS on February 20, 2006, 12:17:47 AM
If I were you, I would tell my friend he has to cut off the cheating or else go tell. I may an icehole, but I would never cheat and think anyone who does is scum.
1. You're not a real man.
2. Any so-called man who does or even considers this is a p-u-s-s-y. Period.
3. Any friend who cares more about his 'friend's' girl/girlfriend/fiancee,wife than his 'friend' is scum. You know your friend better. You call him 'friend' for a reason. Going behind his back or threatening to 'tell' unless he stops is a bigger corksucker than anyone has imagined.
4. Stop reading your farging bible or whatever holy book or stop watching whatever morally feel good bullshtein you're watching or sucking on...acting high and mighty about your morals and forcing someone else to live by them is bullshtein. You're not god.
5. You're a Hoyda.
Lay off the mezcal, hbionic-o.
Chuggie's cranky. Somone give him something to suck on.
I cheated on my ex-girl once. Despite the fact that she was a bitch I felt (and still feel) it was the worst thing I had ever done. Your buddy doesn't seem to feel much remorse at what he is doing at all which is somewhat troubling. That would indicate to me that he is supremely selfish and at some point that may apply to you. This is, however, not your mess. You shouldn't rat him out or lie for him because no "good" friend would ask you to do that. Tell him not to use you as an excuse and claim ignorance if this girl asks you anything.
Anyways, according to MDS...I'm scum.
I have 'cheated' without the sex*. My life became too chaotic after that, juggling two...hiding/erasing texts, saying the name in my head before I said her name out loud as to not call her the wrong one...having my phone turned off and having the girlfriend turn it on...only for me to snatch it back on time as a text from the other one came through, etc., etc. I
*I expect a quality comeback for this meatball I set up...be creative if you're gonna do it.
Intent to cheat counts as cheating?
Quote from: NGM on February 20, 2006, 11:31:58 PM
Intent to cheat counts as cheating?
Yes. In a "Minority Report" kind of way.
Quote from: Sgt PSN on February 20, 2006, 11:34:16 PM
Quote from: NGM on February 20, 2006, 11:31:58 PM
Intent to cheat counts as cheating?
Yes. In a "Minority Report" kind of way.
I need to rethink my morals system.
i don't think going on a 46 hr. bender of a spank off marathon to the slight scent she might've left on your hand after grazing it counts as cheating. you might feel guilty but the only thing to worry about are the text messages of her trying to get in contact with you to inform you of the 2 mile restraining order. good times.
in other news i agree with your top 5.
I had cheated on a girlfriend. Pretty crappy thing and I wish someone had talked me out of it. I had a fling with a former girlfriend who didn't want to let go while I had started dating another girl seriously. Confronting a friend about his crappy conduct is being a friend.