Reasons you're sick of being an Eagles fan

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

1. Andy Reid
Good coach, but not as good as he thinks he is. Will never win a Super Bowl as a head coach.
2. Michael Vick
Exciting player, but dumb as a brick. Has herpes and electrocuted dogs.
3. DeSean Jackson
Absolutely scintillating at times. Also infuriatingly invisible at others. Might not be on the team past 2012 anyway.
4. Jeremy Maclin
CHOKE
5. Juan CastiLOLOLLo
SMARTEST GUYS IN THE ROOM
6. Hoyda boy defense
7. Stupid midnight green crap, still doesn't feel right
8. Banner/Roseman
Aren't nerds supposed to make smart decisions?


There are plenty more. Go ahead.

[SD]

The uniforms

Sick of the players they bring in because they fit their 'system'.
Sick of them drafting players who are less talented than other players because said players fit their zesty 'system'
Sick of their drafts. The last two were especially bad.
Sick of them trying to use trick plays to outsmart defenses
Sick of both sides of the ball in any redzone situation
Sick of Asante Samuel
Sick of the interior of the O-line

[QB Eagles]

I'm sick of them not winning a Super Bowl. If they won the Super Bowl, I wouldn't give a shtein about any of that other stuff.

[Hawk]

Their mushiness affected Cliff Lee.

[GeneralZOD]

Well, I'll never ever be sick of being an Eagles fan per se, but currently I have built up a year's worth of disgust of this current Eagles roster in only four fargin weeks.  I know I'm already echoing a lot of the sentiments on CF but I need an outlet, so here goes, 33 reasons why this current roster can get the bozack...

Michael Vick-I Just feel that he is still basically the same dumbass player that he was in Atlanta, but just a little bit better... he just happened to go on a lucky streak last year and duped us all into thinking he was the new face of the franchise

Vince Young-Still wondering if he even has a clue....

Ronnie Brown-That back lateral play shtein has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever seen since I started watching football in 1976.  It's on par with McNabb saying he didn't know NFL games could end in a tie

Dion Lewis-Lorenzo Booker 2.0.... Great in the pre-season, sucks in the regular season

DeSean Jackson-I know it's bad when I don't feel the same excitement when he touches the ball anymore.  It's even more farged up when I breath a sigh of relief when he catches the ball.  It's obvious the contract situation got his head

Jeremy Maclin-Great player, but incredibly non-clutch!  2 major fargups and we're only four games into the season!  Damn!

Steve Smith-I just don't trust this bitch ass farger on this team and I never will

Brent Celek-Never seen a TE with so much potential fall out of sight... has to be coaching or being around Andy Reid

Kyle DeVan-This guy sucks so bad I wonder if he is an upgrade over the firefighter

Winston Justice-This guy is the McNabb of Offensive Linemen.  He can kick ass on easy assignments, but gets rocked when a stud DE comes to town

Jason Kelce-How this guy is better than Jamaal is fargin beyond me.  The only thing he can do is pull.  When he has to protect he gets knocked into another realm every fargin time

Evan Mathis-Must be nice to suck as bad as he does and know he's the 3rd best OL the Eagles have

Danny Watkins-Andy Reid top draft pick, I have nothing to contribute....

Trevor Laws-Teases me too much with flashes of what he could do but never consistently does

Jamar Chaney-I was happy when I heard that he would take over the MIKE from the OLB, but now I'm witness to his suckiness at not one, but two linebacker positions

Moise Fokou-His personal celebrations after making 1-3 plays a game just doesn't make up for the amount of time that I see him missing tackles and taking stupid ass angles to get to ballcarriers

Casey Matthews –Mannnnnnn, farg Fabio.  He needs to be outside the Linc selling programs

Nate Allen-Obviously not 100% and is by far one of the biggest disappointments on this team

Nnamdi Asomugha-I have yet to see anything about this so-called shutdown CB.  He ain't shown me shtein.  From what I've seen Patterson or Hobbs is better than he is.  4 games in and he's a Free Agent Bust.  The Ryan boys are laughing their asses off

Kurt Coleman-I honestly thought he was going to be a great safety and team leader on this D.  It's hard for the other guys on the team to look at him as a leader when he sucks so bad.  Sometimes I wonder how many passes have been thrown 2 inches over his head for TD's... 

Jarrad Page-Next to Fabio, he is the biggest liability on the defense.  This guy sucks so bad it ain't even funny.  Even Blaine Bishop watches this idiot and laughs

Asante Samuel-This farger needs to be benched ala McNabb.  He's a straight up liability now.  His cocky arrogant attitude translates to his play when he gives 7-10 yd cushions on 3rd and 3 plays because he's so scared of getting beat.  And the funny thing is that he still gets beat regardless

Alex Henery-I am so convinced that he ain't ready for this shtein.  Stupid move to let Akers roll for this piss-stain

Victor Abiamiri-How does this guy stay on this team?  Definition of a bust.

Chairman/CEO – Jeffrey Lurie-This guy's personal commitment for this team has to be questioned for him to allow this shtein to carry on week after week and year after year.  He's no better than the guy in France

President – Joe Banner-Thanks for saving the franchise so much cap space, icehole.

General Manager – Howie Roseman-The story of his life needs to be made into a movie.  "A young brash fantasy football champ becomes the general manager of an NFL team, starring Adam Sandler."  Hell, now that I think about it, Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider would probably turn down the role.  Howie will never be 5% of the man Tom Modrak was

Head Coach/Executive Vice President of Football Operations – Andy Reid-The Philadelphia Eagles #1 problem.  Get rid of this fat walrus farger and most of these problems will instantly vanish.

Assistant Head Coach/Offensive Coordinator – Marty Mornhinweg-Was it just me, or did anyone else think that simply hiring one of the Detroit Lions' worst coaches just for the farg of it and giving him an important spot on the coaching staff was an extremely bad idea?  The plays this idiot comes up with baffles me more and more every week.  This muthafarger should be second in line to go.

Quarterbacks Coach – Doug Pederson-How can a guy who sucked so bad as a NFL QB team anybody anything?  Definitely a prototypical Andy Reid buttsniffer, just like Morningweg

Offensive Line Coach – Howard Mudd-This old bastich needs to go back to the retirement home and take his small quick OL's with him

Defensive Coordinator – Juan Castillo-This is what happens when an okay OL coach becomes an over-his-head defensive coordinator because he's the Hispanic amigo of the coach.  Worst personnel change in the history of the NFL.  If Reid doesn't get canned after this year for just that shtein alone, then it's obvious the coaching staff is sucking some major dong after practice

Linebackers Coach – Mike Caldwell-I know he's the LB coach, but damn... the way these fools are playing makes you wonder if he is even part of the Eagles organization.  I always felt he was somewhat decent in the 90's but if he was a real coach he should be kicking major ass when they get back to the sideline for the amount of dumb shtein these linebackers do

[Tomahawk]

Like others have said in other threads, getting rid of Andy Reid won't get rid of the problems. They'll bring in a coach that's even worse than he is, unless they get lucky and that former positional player coach turns out to be good. Or worse yet, when Reid "retires", they promote from within. We're going to have to wait for an impossibly lucky draft streak, or Banner to retire before things get better

[Don Ho]

Everything the General said. 

[Eagles_Legendz]

3rd and 1.

[Eagaholic]

They suck ass

[General_Failure]

The yearly insistence that square pegs fit round holes. Building a line out of run blockers and making them pass protect 50 times a game. Drafting an inaccurate QB for an accuracy-based offense. Drafting small RBs and making them pass protect 20 or more times a game. Drafting linebackers to put at DE. Drafting DEs to put at DT.

The trick plays that are, on average, less successful than standard plays. The long pass on 3rd and short. The running plays that look designed to end five yards in the backfield. The plays they think are Wildcat plays.

The players. From the entire roster, the only three players I actually like are Manneans, McCoy and Avant. I have a hard time believing anyone else will still be on the roster in two or three years.

The coaches. I like Castillo, but there certainly seems to be a good reason why he hasn't had an offer for a promotion or lateral move in sixteen years. There's a reason Morningwood hasn't gotten another head coaching job.

The front office. Dawkins was the last truly great player that will play the majority of his career with this team. Jackson, Maclin, McCoy? They'll all be gone in their prime.

[hbionic]

By the same token, all of the reasons posted above and those not mentioned are EXACTLY the reasons we are Eagles fans and will be until our deaths.

Misery loves company and is why Eagles fans feel they have a common bond and we also have a "if I'm going down, I'm taking everyone with me" mentality, which is why we don't steer our offspring in a better course.

Face it, we're all farged and there was no going back once we stepped into this quicksand known as the Eagles wagon.

So, I love the eagles because very few things in life provide the complete emotional ups-and-downs following this team does. Similarly, having an incurable STD, being on the run and being hunted by CIA drones, and gambling also provide some of the same life stimulus.

If you ain't loving the Eagles, you ain't living life!

[Don Ho]

Ronnie Brown-That back lateral play shtein has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever seen since I started watching football in 1976.  It's on par with McNabb saying he didn't know NFL games could end in a tie

Honestly, I've been a birds fan since 1971 and for the life of me can't recall a play that remotely comes close to what Ronnie Brown did.  Up until today the Tommy Hutton botched hold on the chip shot field goal attempt against Dallas on MNF in 1997 was the worst play I'd ever seen.  That wasn't stupidity that was just a fluke.  What Ronnie Brown did was last seen on a playground in sixth grade.

[shorebird]

Constant underachievement and bad game day coaching.

[shorebird]

Bad thing is I broke down yesterday and was on my phone with directv for 45 min talking them into giving me the ticket. Wasn't worth the minutes I burned up on my phone.

[Diomedes]

Above all else this year, I hate Vince farging Young for naming this mismatched collection of all stars and bums the "dream team." 




thanks icehole, I love having it thrown in my face as though I said it