When you are Single, In a Relationship, or Married, you....

[BigEd76]

Single: any baseball game you want, especially Dollar Dog nights

In A Relationship: only on weekends

Married: nothing....not even the most important series of the season

[Diomedes]

single:  home cooked meals only when you visit your mother

in a relationship:  home cooked meals on weekends

married:  home cooked meals 75% of the time.

[ice grillin you]

single:  errands whenever you get up

in a relationship:  errands when youre asked

married:  errands when youre told

[MadMarchHare]

single:  home cooked meals only when you visit your mother

in a relationship:  home cooked meals on weekends

married:  home cooked meals 75% of the time.

HA!  My wife can't boil spaghetti.
If I didn't cook we'd live on Kraft Mac'N'Cheese and chicken nuggets.

[Seabiscuit36]

single:  home cooked meals only when you visit your mother

in a relationship:  home cooked meals on weekends

married:  home cooked meals 75% of the time.

HA!  My wife can't boil spaghetti.
If I didn't cook we'd live on Kraft Mac'N'Cheese and chicken nuggets.

you married white trash? 

My wife couldnt cook for shtein when we first met, im happy with how well she can cook now

[Diomedes]

If your wife can't cook, or can but doesn't, you farged up.

[Rome]

My ball & chain is a health food nut so everything she makes is bland now.  Her cooking used to be very good, though, which is a little saddening to me.

[rjs246]

Losers.

[Rome]

Irony?

[rjs246]

Perhaps.

[Diomedes]

My old lady is a great cook.  She was good when we first got together almost ten years ago, and it's been steady improvement since.  She makes a great arroz con pollo, her grandmother's recipe. 

Nothing beats arroz con pollo and a cold beer after a long day digging ditches.

[Rome]

I can only take so much skinless, tasteless fricking grilled chicken & brown rice dinners.  I mean, yeah, I try to eat healthy so I don't blow up like a blimp, but goddamn it, the occasional rare ribeye, loaded baked potato & a cold beer for dinner isn't gonna kill her or anyone else in this joint.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

My wife is a really great cook.  She usually cooks healthy, but half the time you wouldn't know it.  And she knows exactly how often to make the red meat, fries, and lasagnas of the world.

[MadMarchHare]

single:  home cooked meals only when you visit your mother

in a relationship:  home cooked meals on weekends

married:  home cooked meals 75% of the time.

HA!  My wife can't boil spaghetti.
If I didn't cook we'd live on Kraft Mac'N'Cheese and chicken nuggets.

you married white trash? 

My wife couldnt cook for shtein when we first met, im happy with how well she can cook now

Kinda, she's from Racine, WI.  She cleaned up well, though.

[Feva]

married or not the meaning of life is getting as much pusssie as humanly possible without dying of something you may catch in the process

Pretty much.  It all boils down to getting strange one way or another.

Why do guys want sports cars?  For strange.
Why do guys want money? For strange.
Why do guys play sports?  To make a ton of money... so they can buy the sports cars... for strange.