Good Advice?

Started by Father Demon, May 25, 2007, 09:34:36 PM

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Father Demon

May 25, 2007, 09:34:36 PM
Best advice I ever got from my First Sergeant was "You're only as old as the girl you're feeling. Stay young."

What other advice has helped shape you into the man (or, in PG's case, midget) you are today?
The drawback to marital longevity is your wife always knows when you're really interested in her and when you're just trying to bury it.

Diomedes

#1
May 26, 2007, 12:06:19 AM
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists." - Yosemite Park Ranger

rjs246

#2
May 26, 2007, 01:15:44 AM
Life is what happens when you're waiting for your life to start.
Is rjs gonna have to choke a bitch?

Let them eat bootstraps.

Diomedes

#3
May 26, 2007, 07:29:09 AM
No old man ever looks back on his life and thinks, I'm glad I worked late, I'm glad I commuted 20 hours a week, or I'm glad I passed up the chance to farg that woman.
There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists." - Yosemite Park Ranger

SD_Eagle5

#4
May 26, 2007, 08:57:39 AM
Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

General_Failure

#5
May 26, 2007, 10:24:10 AM
Put toilet paper in the bowl before crapping to prevent splashback.

The man. The myth. The legend.

PoopyfaceMcGee

#6
May 26, 2007, 11:54:36 AM
Quote from: General_Failure on May 26, 2007, 10:24:10 AM
Put toilet paper in the bowl before crapping to prevent splashback.

So, if you're following Sheryl Crow's advice... you'd then have nothing left with which to wipe!

mussa

#7
May 26, 2007, 12:45:53 PM
never trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die
Official Sponsor of The Fire Andy Reid Club
"We be plundering the High Sequence Seas For the hidden Treasures of Conservation"

NGM

#8
May 26, 2007, 01:01:43 PM
Stop bitchin.
Fletch:  Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo.

hbionic

#9
May 26, 2007, 10:02:20 PM
Go ahead and restart your computer. If that doesn't work, turn off your modem. Unplug the DSL, Ethernet and Adapter plug. Wait 10 seconds and plug them back in. Then turn the modem back on.

I said watch the game and you will see my spirit manifest.-ILLEAGLE 02/04/05

Geowhizzer

#10
May 26, 2007, 10:06:41 PM
Don't eat yellow snow.

Zanshin

#11
May 26, 2007, 10:10:48 PM
You don't shtein where you eat.  And you REALLY don't shtein where I eat.

Feva

#12
May 26, 2007, 10:34:06 PM
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

If you can't get yourself a 10... the least you can do is farg five 2's.
"Now I'm completing up the other half of that triangle" - Emmitt Smith on joining Troy Aikman and Michael Irvin in the Hall of Fame

"If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is that considered rape or shoplifting?" -- 2 Live Stews

Phanatic

#13
May 27, 2007, 12:19:59 AM
Women don't think like normal people.... No shtein.
This post is brought to you by Alcohol!

Butchers Bill

#14
May 27, 2007, 01:17:03 AM
Its easy to be a friend when times are good.  When times turn bad you find out who your true friends are.
I believe I've passed the age of consciousness and righteous rage
I found that just surviving was a noble fight.
I once believed in causes too,
I had my pointless point of view,
And life went on no matter who was wrong or right.
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