RIP to the dirty dirty

[PhillyPhreak54]

Trials and tribulations

There was something else going on in Waters' life during the last four years, something that likely was an ongoing source of stress and pain.

Since 2002, he had been engaged in a bitter custody rights battle with a Tampa woman with whom he had a daughter. The child, Andrea Waters, was born Nov. 10, 1998.

According to records at the Hillsborough County Courthouse, Waters - who has two other children from a marriage that ended in divorce - filed a petition of paternity in 2002 seeking shared custody of Andrea.

The mother and child had moved to Arizona, making it difficult for Waters, coaching at Saint Augustine's in North Carolina, to have contact with his daughter. On the stand, he was questioned about child support and his income: $37,000 college coaching salary, plus deferred compensation from the Eagles of $85,000 annually. The mother testified that "she did not believe that there was an effect on the child not seeing the biological father in the last year."

Still, in 2003, the court sided substantially with Waters, who re-established his residence in Tampa. Shared parental responsibility was granted, and if the mother failed to relocate to Florida within 60 days with the child, Waters would be awarded primary residential care of Andrea. She moved back.

But in 2004, she filed an appeal that addressed issues of custody and support. In August, the court affirmed most of the trial court rulings, but on one matter found in favor of the mother - that the trial court "erred by failing to consider child care expenses when it fashioned the child support award."

"Without getting into the particulars, it is clear from the very beginning of this case to the very end of this case, Mr. Waters was winning just about everything," said Tampa attorney Richard Escobar, who, along with law partner Carlos Ramirez, represented Waters.

"That was not that the problem here. I think what you've got to realize is that when people go through a battle for custody, (they) are going through probably the most emotional and traumatic event that they will ever experience. ... So even in those cases where you are winning hands down, you really aren't, because of the emotional toll - because of the separation, a real separation between a father and his most precious individuals, his kids."

Court papers suggest the case was not over. A court-ordered mediation conference had been set for Friday, and a case management conference was on the books for Jan. 19. It appears there were issues of visitation to be worked out. But, according to Escobar, "mediation precedes future litigation" as well.

The firm, he says, will continue to represent Waters, with a representative from his estate to take his place. The attorney who handled the case for the mother declined to comment.

"He was a very strong guy and very likable," Ramirez said. "A tremendous person."

And a person under immense strain from a custody fight with no end in sight.

"The emotional toll could be an absolute train wreck going on inside a person, and you just don't see that," Escobar said. "... The fact that Mr. Waters was a professional football player, an outstanding one at that, makes him a tough individual. So sometimes you just don't see it as easily or clearly with those types of people."

But neither man imagined it would end as it did. "I was very shocked," Ramirez said. "I still am."

A lingering bitterness

Another personal issue consumed Waters: frustration about his career. And perhaps nobody knew more about that than longtime sports writer Phil Sheridan of the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Six months ago, Sheridan set out to do a short interview with Waters, whom he had known for many years while covering the Eagles.

"I needed three minutes and Andre talked for three hours," he said. "He just started pouring his heart out and I wound up with a notebook full of quotes."

When Waters retired from the NFL in 1995, after 12 seasons with the Eagles and two with Arizona, he embarked on a career as a college coach. He landed a job at Morgan State in Baltimore, then spent three seasons as secondary coach at South Florida.

His troubles appear to have started when he left USF before the 2000 season to spend training camp with the St. Louis Rams as part of the NFL's minority coaching internship program.

Bulls coach Jim Leavitt believed Waters would miss too much preparation time with the team, according to sports information director John Gerdes, so Waters had to choose between the internship and USF. He took his chances on the internship, but it didn't lead to anything.

So Waters was out of a job and soon working a step down the career ladder in smaller Division II programs, first at Alabama State in Montgomery then at Saint Augustine's. Sheridan recalls how Waters talked of feeling unhappy and unappreciated and that some coaches resented him as a former NFL player and didn't welcome his input.

Waters badly wanted to get a coaching job in the NFL, but couldn't find a path in. He saw former Giants and Patriots linebacker Pepper Johnson hired by coach Bill Belichick. But none of Waters' former coaches were around by the late '90s, said Sheridan, and he had no sponsor. Sheridan wrote about his conversation in a recent column, including how Waters felt the NFL system used players up only to spit them back out.

"I was just shocked at how bitter he was about it," Sheridan added. "One thing he said was, 'When you're playing football it tastes like honey, and it goes down sour like a lemon when you're not.' That's how he felt about the sport. He was also in a lot of physical pain. Every part of his body hurt, and he knew which collision or injury from his career was at the root of it."

His frustration was also evident to friend Bill Thomas, a board member for a youth sports program in the Raleigh area when Waters coached at Saint Augustine's. Waters donated $5,000 to the Carolina Football Development League to help get kids get equipment. The league's first team was named the Carolina Eagles in honor of Waters.

"He said to me, 'Anytime I can do anything to help, just let me know,' " Thomas said. "He was always like that. He loved working with kids. His dream was to have a boys and girls club named after him, where he'd be behind the scenes and kids could play sports and get mentoring and education help. But I remember he said, 'When I was a superstar, I should have had this facility done. It's kind of hard to get this facility off the ground now that I'm a has-been.' "

Waters' most recent stop was this year at Division II Fort Valley State, a historically African-American university south of Macon, Ga. He served as defensive coordinator and the Wildcats finished their season Nov. 11 with a 4-7 record.

He earned rave reviews from players and staff for the energy, sense of fun and all-out dedication he brought to the job.

Nine days after the season ended, he was found dead by his girlfriend on the back porch of his Tampa home, leaving behind so many questions.

Two weeks ago at the little church in Belle Glade, none of that mattered. It was not a time for questions, but for remembering and accepting.

Under the South Florida night sky, Terrica Walker smiled.

"What my uncle taught me most is that you can't settle for what's average; you always have to go above and beyond," Walker said. "I loved him. He was my hero."

-- Dave Scheiber can be reached at scheiber@sptimes.com or (727) 893-8541.

[SD_Eagle5]

Expert ties Waters suicide to brain damage

[QB Eagles]

Expert ties Waters suicide to brain damage

From what I can tell, former NFL players seem to kill themselves at a lower rate than the general population.

I'm sure that lawyers are salivating at this news, however.

[ice grillin you]

id kill myself to if i had brain damage

[Seabiscuit36]

id kill myself to if i had brain damage

 

That sucks for him, i remembered seeing a Bryant Gumbel special about Mike Webb? from Pittsburgh and how he was depressed from having so many concussions over his career. 

[Zanshin]

id kill myself to if i had brain damage

That's sort of an odd thing to say.  Waters didn't know he was killing himself because he knew he had brain damage; but rather the brain damage, if you buy into the story, affected his judgement.  Sort of a different thing.  Besides, I'm pretty sure you do have brain damage, and yet you type away. 

[ice grillin you]

Waters didn't know he was killing himself because he knew he had brain damage; but rather the brain damage, if you buy into the story, affected his judgement.

ha

i was joking


the hardest part about eating vegetables is the wheelchair

[Zanshin]

That's just the brain damage talking.  Listen to the voices; they're on your side.

[Crossroids]

You guys played a hand in Waters' early death (yes, you - I exempt myself because, beyond Emmitt Smith, I wasn't paying any attention to football during those years.  So I derived no enjoyment out of Waters' play, nor do I particularly enjoy today's savage hits ala Sheldon Brown-Reggie Bush.).  You guys are proponents of this sick, gladiator culture of embracing "hard-nosed play" - with "hard-nosed" often involving players banging themselves silly and doing irreparable damage to themselves.  If Waters had exercised sound judgment and taken himself out of games during the times when he should have, you guys would have been boo-ing him, peppering him with the "soft label", and all but calling for a more "hard-nosed" replacement. 

Be sure to read the reader comments accompanying the New York Times article.  Many of the comments bring the perspective about this sick gladiator machine.

Will the morbid cycle repeat?  Will this be your beloved Brian Dawkins in 10 years?  (Hauntingly-enough, he even wears the same no. 20.  )

[SD_Eagle5]

He didn't really commit suicide, I actually killed him.

[mussa]

Ridiculous how they are comparing suicide with concussions, in football. Hello, people kill themselves on the daily. It's the concussions! I can see the lawyers drooling over this concept.

[Quasimoto]

I almost killed myself yesterday after I bumped my head on an open cabinet.  I was this close.

[Diomedes]

You guys played a hand in Waters' early death (yes, you - I exempt myself because.....

Maybe you could exempt yourself from posting here?  That would be great, thanks.

Hello, people kill themselves on the daily.

On the daily indeed! 

I almost killed myself yesterday after I bumped my head on an open cabinet.  I was this close.

I laughed.

[mussa]

I feel down wood steps head first and cracked my head on cement floor drunk one time. Top step, whole way down.  I got up, grabbed a beer, went upstairs and puked.  I think I had a concussion.  Suicidal thoughts do not run through my head

[PhillyandBCEagles]

You guys played a hand in Waters' early death (yes, you - I exempt myself because, beyond Emmitt Smith, I wasn't paying any attention to football during those years.  So I derived no enjoyment out of Waters' play, nor do I particularly enjoy today's savage hits ala Sheldon Brown-Reggie Bush.).  You guys are proponents of this sick, gladiator culture of embracing "hard-nosed play" - with "hard-nosed" often involving players banging themselves silly and doing irreparable damage to themselves.  If Waters had exercised sound judgment and taken himself out of games during the times when he should have, you guys would have been boo-ing him, peppering him with the "soft label", and all but calling for a more "hard-nosed" replacement. 

Be sure to read the reader comments accompanying the New York Times article.  Many of the comments bring the perspective about this sick gladiator machine.

Will the morbid cycle repeat?  Will this be your beloved Brian Dawkins in 10 years?  (Hauntingly-enough, he even wears the same no. 20.  )

I didn't play a part in Waters' death, but I'd be happy to play a part in yours.