the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

[Seabiscuit36]

speaking of zesty areas, i lost my phone or had it stolen when i was drunk after the game sunday night. so monday i'm checking on this girl's phone so see if it was turned on and it listed some location up in north philly. end up chasing this thing around town every time it was turned on, driving like a maniac around a few areas in philly i've never even been to. like 4 or 5 different times. felt like a farging bounty hunter. eventually i ended up at some homeless shelter / juvie facility and just gave up. was an exciting few hours though, i really thought i would somehow track it down.

Diehard got me Army/Navy tickets a few years ago. I was in a rush to get to the Linc, so I left my phone on the top of my truck when I left my house. Couldn't find it obviously. Kept calling. Finally some ghetto ass chick answers and tells me I can have it back for $60. After going back and forth and telling her I'd hunt her down and kill her she finally met me on the Boulevard with her boyfriend. She told me to watch my back because she was rolling to the location with 10 stillupfront's moms in case I tried something. They were just stupid kids. I gave them $30 for returning it to me and went about my way. I could tell her boyfriend was a good dude but she was straight up ghetto trash.

Anyway, I go onto facebook on my phone once I get it back and the stupid bitch was logged in. Here she is:
https://www.facebook.com/YOUNGDUNKTRUCK?fref=ts

if a chick has a tongue ring, she'll probably so yo d*ck.

[Sgt PSN]

Computer Nerd Applies for University of North Dakota Head Coaching Job With Video Game Resume.

Mr. Faison,

I would like to express to you my interest in your now open position for head coach of football at the University of North Dakota

Currently, I work in IT at a college in West Virginia, but I have many years of experience with football, starting with attending my first Marshall University football game when I was 3 years old. In the past 30 years I've only missed a handful of Marshall's home games, attended many road games, and all of their bowl games.

All the while I played various football games including Madden on Sega Genesis where I completely dominated with the Bills and Thurman Thomas. Seriously, was he a beast on the game or was he a beast because I was a football genius controlling him? I then moved on to a Playstation gaming system and purchased NCAA Football every year and put together several programs that completely dominated the recruiting scene and college football winning several national titles with Marshall University. I took them from a decent Mid-American Conference School on the game to a perennial national power that makes Nick Saban look like a chump. One year my third string quarterback left school early to enter the NFL Draft, he was a first round pick. Boom.

My football philosophy is basically an attacking one. We're going to give AIR RAID a whole new definition. Theoretically how many times do you think a team can pass in a game? Challenge accepted. We're going 5 wide, chucking the pigskin all over the place. Never punt. Onside every time. Chip Kelly will be calling me to learn my offense. We will put on an exciting brand of football, we will pack them into the Alerus Center night in and night out, go ahead and blow the roof off the place and add about 35,000 seats to that place.

I would love to speak with you further regarding this opening and what I can bring to UND, putting UND back on the national map and making NDSU our (b****).

Attached to this email you will find a PowerPoint with more information.

Thanks,

Christopher McComas

PS - I prefer Coke to Pepsi, so go ahead and fill the fridge up in the head coach's office with Coke.

In a nine-page PowerPoint presentation attached to the cover letter, McComas further explains his philosophies.

"Chuck the pigskin. Fourth down? Chuck the pigskin," he said.

He also lists a four-step blueprint.

"1. Recruit great players. 2. Win a lot of games. 3. Recruit more great players. 4. Win more games."

McComas does admit that he probably won't graduate a lot of players.

"They'll all be leaving early for the NFL," he said.

McComas also said he hopes the Alerus Center can install an air raid siren for his offense.

Faison hasn't indicated what type of coach he wants to hire, but if he's looking to "chuck the pigskin," he knows where to go.

[Yeti]

 

That was awesome.

[SD]

Don't remember which thread the igy/mouse war was in, but I went into one of my drawers today and found a ripped up candy wrapper. I shoved a bunch of candy leftover from Halloween in a cabinet and now there's a mouse. Found a few droppings. We have a shtein ton of mice where I work, it's a huge building and the floors are up on medal planks so all the electrical wires can run underneath. They find a mouse at least once a week. Anyway, gonna do some traps with peanut butter tonight, hopefully I catch the little farger right away.

[Diomedes]

Set the traps against a wall or corner, with the bait to the wall, and in their normal path of travel.  a trap in the middle of the room is useless; one in a dark covered corner where they usually pass through on their way to your candy will work much better.

Kill 'em all.

[SD]

Put the trap with peanut butter on it at the spot where we found the wrapper and droppings bout an hour ago. Just looked and the farger was in it. He was a big farger, about double the size of the ones at work. He was about the length of the glue trap. Took him outside and put him out of his misery. Left a few other traps out just in case there are more.

[Diomedes]

Well done and of course there are more.  they aren't given to the bachelor lifestyle

[ice grillin you]

my girl got fed up with having to kill one after another with no end in sight and ended up getting an exterminator........havent seen one since

[SD]

So far no more. We're going to leave the traps out for a few days just in case.

[SD]

Heard a noise where we caught the first one and sure enough there was another. Just put it out of its misery. This one was smaller than the first one. Here's a pic of the first one:

[SD]

my girl got fed up with having to kill one after another with no end in sight and ended up getting an exterminator........havent seen one since

What did that cost? If I keep catching these fargers that's my next route.

[ice grillin you]

$45 a month and you have to commit to a quarter year

[PhillyPhreak54]

The Havas Micescapades were hilarious. I'll never forget the spatula

[General_Failure]

After months of youtube telling me to link my youtube account with google plus it finally gave up and made a different google plus account for my youtube account. Finally, I can make pervy comments on the hysterical literature videos without people knowing my real name.

[Sgt PSN]

Haha. This shtein is getting out of hand. I'm sick of websites I already have accounts with wanting me to log in with FB instead. And YouTube is just as bad with trying to set me up with a google+ acct.

Farg all that. I'm on the verge of deleting all thy crap any way to try and reduce my cyber footprint.