the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

[rjs246]

I thought it was common knowledge that McGillis was gay. She's lived in/around Reading for years and was apparently pretty open about sticking her face in other womens' crotches.

[Eagaholic]

https://www.23andme.com/

For all of those who have a spare $400 bucks and would like to see what you are pre-disposed to...have your genetic code deciphered...at least find out what your code is before you turn into a zombie.

Although this should be in the zombie thread, it's relevant here too. 23andME co-founder Anne Wojcicki is married to Google co-founder Sergey Brin and Google helps fund 23andME. I believe this is so one day Google will get all of our genetic information. Personally I don't trust guys named Sergey and he may pool the best genetic traits of an entire population to create programmable super-zombies that will be set loose on Microsoft in a quest for total global domination. For example, think zombies that can move like Dawkins, calculate like Banner, and eat like Reid.

Thus, unlike the dictates of conventional wisdom, the Final Battle will not be between good and evil, but rather Google and Microsoft. It's common sense if you think about it, just nobody suspects Google is already on its way to breeding a race of super-zombies. Don't tell anybody, but Silicon Valley is the new Mordor. And I don't want to even think about what Bill Gates has up his sleeve to retaliate, but you can bet it's a little more than just some high powered rifle or automatic shotgun, and we're going to get caught in the middle. Have a good day.

[Seabiscuit36]

Kelly McGillis likes the ladies

you just figured this out?  My parents have gone down to her restaurant in Key West, they told me she was a lesbo back in 94.  BidEd knows less than my dad. 

[ice grillin you]

he knows nothing of awesome boobage

Never saw "Witness".  And for 80s boobs how about Julie Michaels in "Road House"...

is there anyone in the world that has seen roadhouse anywhere except tbs or usa...as far as im concerened there is no nudity or cursing in that movie

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Beer 30 Light is the worst beverage ever created.

[Tomahawk]

he knows nothing of awesome boobage

Never saw "Witness".  And for 80s boobs how about Julie Michaels in "Road House"...

is there anyone in the world that has seen roadhouse anywhere except tbs or usa...as far as im concerened there is no nudity or cursing in that movie

HBO or one of the premium channels play it sometimes

[SD_Eagle5]

I found it in a $5 dvd pile at walmart and picked it up. This scene alone makes it worth the money:


Dalton: Yo, Steve! You're history.
Steve: But I'm on my break!
Dalton: Stay on it.


Oops

[BigEd76]

ha

"You're gonna be my regular Saturday night thing"

[BigEd76]

those crazy Germans again

Man is sterile but wants a baby with his beauty queen wife
Man pays neighbor who already has a wife and 2 kids
After 72 times over 6 months, it didn't work.  Man sues the neighbor for failing to get the job done
Neighbor goes to doctor and finds out he's sterile too
Neighbor's wife admits the kids aren't his

[rjs246]

Why is it that fat people are short of breath even when they're just sitting still? Does the flubber constrict their airways in some fashion? I was just sitting in the john trying to kill time before the weekend starts listening to the guy next to me pant. Sure enough when he came out to wash his hands it was the biggest dude in the office. If you're predisposed to being big, shouldn't your body adjust accordingly so that you aren't huffing and puffing and sweating 24 hours a day?

Gross.

[BigEd76]

Does the flubber constrict their airways in some fashion?

yep....presses against the lungs and rib cage.  It's why those 700+ blobs on Discovery Health are never laying flat on their backs...

[SD_Eagle5]

Why is it that fat people are short of breath even when they're just sitting still? Does the flubber constrict their airways in some fashion? I was just sitting in the john trying to kill time before the weekend starts listening to the guy next to me pant. Sure enough when he came out to wash his hands it was the biggest dude in the office. If you're predisposed to being big, shouldn't your body adjust accordingly so that you aren't huffing and puffing and sweating 24 hours a day?

Gross.

fat people like to pee on toilet seats because their blubber rolls block them from seeing their penis which gives them bad aim.

[rjs246]

farging toilet seat pissers. I'll murder them all.

[Seabiscuit36]

I cant remember if i've seen this forwarded before, but its good for a laugh.

This guy's girlfriend cheated on him and she wrote him an email
to apologize. His response is hilarious. The first paragraph is the
girl and the second is the guy's response. Enjoy.

Brad,
It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right
now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying
that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all
the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last
person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse
at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to
say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can
handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even
handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't
handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird,
the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid
me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I
don't
know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you
didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping
that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally
crazy and stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally
strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior
didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you
hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a
terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say
or do to take back what happened. I am so sorry.

Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under 'L' for
'Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less
about'. You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and
forgetting to carry the one is 'a stupid thing'; Mixing in a red Sock
with a load of whites is 'a stupid thing'; Blowing some guy in a
bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're
taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran that morning isn't
as much a 'Stupid thing' as it is grounds for permanent removal from
my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing
that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once, but
twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying
'Well, I didn't farge him' somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive
me if I couldn't care less if the world 'looked funny' to you
yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been
most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings
for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't
think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run
of the mill
cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your average
child porm collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class
you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs
you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little
like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,

Brad

[Seabiscuit36]

farging toilet seat pissers. I'll murder them all.

i've gotten in the habit over the years of pissing on the toilet seat at night.  I'm blind as shtein, and refuse to turn on lights.  I cant stand toilet seat pissers at work, the worst are the douches who dont understand space at the urnials.  We have 3 urinals, if i take the far right or far left, why do some weirdos feel the need to get the one in the middle when the opposite one of me is wide open.