the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

[smeags]

[SD]

I just took a monster shtein

[Sgt PSN]

I took a kind of juicy shtein a little bit ago.  I found out the hard way that there was no tp left in the stall.  So I sent a text to one of the guys in my office to bring some up to me.  I hate texting, but it saved my ass today. 

[BigEd76]

PUN

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

That is not a pun at all.

[Sgt PSN]

Nope.  It's actually quite literal. 

[Rome]

What tool do proctologists use to figure out what to bill their patients?

FECALculators

[Sgt PSN]

No

[Diomedes]

good thing you emphasized fecal, never would have got it otherwise, and boy what a laugh I would have missed!

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

good thing you emphasized fecal, never would have got it otherwise, and boy what a laugh I would have missed!

Good one.

[Diomedes]

what is the correct way to eat roasted pistachios?  split the shell with your hands like a monkey, or in your mouth and spit out the shells like an otter?

[SD]

I split it with my hands. They're the most addictive food on the planet.

[ice grillin you]

i never heard of roasted pistachios....im assuming roasting them greatly loosens the shells up because other wise it would be physically impossible to open most pistachio nuts with your mouth...its hard enough with your fingers

[Sgt PSN]

what is the correct way to eat roasted pistachios?  split the shell with your hands like a monkey, or in your mouth and spit out the shells like an otter?

This sounds like a question for the Playboy Advisor.

[PhillyPhreak54]

Sunflower and pumpkin seeds I split in my mouth

Pistachios I split monkey fashion