the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

[Diomedes]

like we didn't already know this...James Hetfield is a fleshpop

http://www.ktvu.com/news/17231482/detail.html

[PhillyPhreak54]

http://gawker.com/5038813/the-story-of-the-pooping-intern

Last week we floated an absolutely delicious rumor—the sort of inside media gossip that we hope to be known for when future generations are considering our legacy. Specifically, it was the story of the crazy pooping intern. A summer intern at one of the networks, we heard, went on an on-the-job pooping spree, but somehow stayed on and continued her internship through the rest of the summer. Tips have poured in, and it's become clear this is the story of your worst at-work nightmare come to life. Here's how one locked toilet at NBC caused a disaster:

The intern was at NBC in New York, at the famous 30 Rock (NBC has not responded to our request for comment). Our tipsters diverge a tiny bit in their details, but all agree that this intern did exist, and she did have quite an accident. They say it all happened on the intern's first day on the job, in June. Apparently, she tried to make a run to the bathroom, but didn't quite get there. One account:

    Said intern did in fact shtein all over the 18th and 25th floors of 30 Rock. She did it in the hallway, on the floor, on a pile of FedEx boxes, on the way between floors... pretty much everywhere but the bathroom or (hey, sometimes you're desperate) a garbage can. Or a cup. Or a napkin. Or in her hands. No, just streaking through the hallways. And then she took it into that room where she locked herself in and proceeded to wipe (sorry, I couldn't come up with a better word) it on the walls, on the computer, on those same FedEx boxes. It was a shteinshow (pun absolutely intended).

One tipster even said that the intern was in a meeting with her boss when the drama occurred. News of it spread quickly throughout the building. What was the reason for the treason? We hear that bad foreign water was blamed:

    The intern blamed the mess on bad water that she drank in Israel (although she had been back from her vacation more than 2 weeks before she started). The rumor at NBC is that it was some kind of laxative induced disaster.

The cleaning staff reportedly took care of the mess. But the biggest mystery of all: Why, and how, did said intern get to stay on for the rest of the summer? For one thing, it wasn't her fault: the bathrooms were locked, and she didn't yet have a key. And a general sense of mortification kept everyone quiet:

    The bosses did want to fire her but were so shocked that she came back that they were a little scared because, what kind of person does something so gross and then shows up the next day like nothing happened? No one wanted to bring it up again, so she got to stay by default.

This poop story is truly nightmarish. Deep inside, we all harbor a fear that something like this might befall us on the first day at a new job. Nevertheless, this person was able to hold her head up high and continue in what must have been the most snicker-inducing environment imaginable. And with little hope of a good recommendation.

Pooping intern: We salute your courage.

12:04 PM on Tue Aug 19 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
32,349 views
151 comments

[hbionic]

I was listening to the sports talk radio and someone mentioned an Ex-Angels baseball player named Lyman Bostock who had a violent death...He died in the late 70's...not too many ball players die from the shotgun blast to the head injury, but I guess he was one of them.

Lyman Bostock

[Father Demon]

I didn't like it, but the sex was part of my job

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

What did the pigeon Chief of Staff say to the pigeon President?

"Mr. President, I fear a coo."




Thank you, PARADE magazine!

[Rome]

Wow.  Even I thought that was awful.

[Feva]

Awful doesn't begin to describe that...

[Geowhizzer]

Yeah, that joke was for the birds...

[General_Failure]

Now imagine Dio telling his spawn that joke for the very first time.

[BigEd76]

saw in the Best Buy ad that two one-hit wonders from the mid 90s (Toadies and The Verve) have new albums out

[Phanatic]

Nigerians say Scammed are as guilty as Scammers

I suppose they have a point though there are idiots everywhere to be taken advantage of.

[Geowhizzer]

Luckily, my letter's from Russia, so you know it's real. 

[Munson]

So it's a slight possibility right now that I may get a job working security at the Eagles games.
Don't worry, I won't tell you guys to sit down and be quiet.

What pisses me off is the friend who is going to try and get me the job is a farging Cowboys fan, and he gets to work on the field a cheerleader security detail.
farger.

I'd be stuck pattin people down and shtein, I wouldn't be on the field in all likely hood.

[Feva]

Rat him out in the opener as a Cowboys fan.  He gets his ass whooped in front of the cheerleaders.  You take his spot.  Problem solved.

[rjs246]

Why are you trying to help Munson out? Let him stay stuck on dick-grab-patrol.