the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

[Seabiscuit36]

I think its the trump card when World War III is about to get off the hook, they'll release that info, thus making the earth realize that we can hate on aliens instead

[Father Demon]

Very un-PC Tard-Blog

Second half begins, and immediately Tyrell is shoved by a kid on the other team. They talk shtein to each other throughout the next 5 minutes of the game. Finally, after the kid makes a remark about his dad being in jail and his teacher having to take care of him, Tyrell's dam breaks.

In the angriest, loudest tone I have ever heard come out of that kids mouth, he screams "Don't make me cotton candy your ass, Mother farger!! I'll cotton candy that shtein right now, Mother farger!" The referee blows his whistle, and throws Tyrell out of the game. Tyrell will not accept this. To the referee he says, "You want your ass cotton candied too mother farger? Cuz I will cotton candy that shtein, and with a capital K."

At this point, everything is chaos. Tyrell is refusing to leave the court. All his teammates are cheering him on, as is DW. He is loving the attention. He then decides to drop his shorts, grab his penis, and tells the entire visiting side of the bleachers to "EAT THIS".

DW was barreled over laughing, headed toward Tyrell, I was in shock. DW actually goes out onto the court, and tries to coax Tyrell off of it. Tyrell looks at DW, again grabs his penis, and suggests that DW "suck my twelve-year old cock."

I teach special education, kindergarten through 6th grade. I think it is important to note that, just like candy, retards will do anything for stickers.

One of my kids is a highly-functioning autistic. He is very smart, but quite troubled. This was our sticker conversation today, ("Brad" is his name):

Brad: "Do I get two stickers today, one for last Wednesday and one for today?"
Me: "No, Brad, you didn't earn your sticker last Wednesday, you did not make good choices, and talked back to the recess teacher and kicked Fred."
Me: "Fine. I hate you. I hate you so much. My Dad hates you to. Your a sorry bitch. My dad buys me all the stickers I want, so I don't even need more stickers. You are greedy and an icehole."

At this point I hit the button on the wall, to summon the principal for help.

Brad starts to tear his sticker book apart. Page by page, ripping it to shreds. This lasts for like 30 seconds. At which point he looks at me and says, "Now look what you made me do!! My dad is gonna be so mad at you. You owe me three months of stickers for this."

Needless to say, the tard will not get another sticker from me. He will not get to chose from the Friday treat jar either.

This stuff is a gift from the gods.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Moon-walker claims alien contact cover-up

FF claims he already posted this, but in the movie thread.

I should take a hint from King Cole and post info in more threads, just in case.

[Father Demon]

I know this really belongs in the YouTube thread, but this is too good...


Man bets weed at a blackjack table

The reporter called it "Five card bud."

FAIL.

[SunMo]

i spent all weekend in Loganton, PA at my buddy's mountain home at an event he has every year for his dad's birthday.  it's basically a weekend long bingefest of booze, food, and anything else unhealthy.

i took the kids because my wife worked this weekend and they experienced things that i doubt they will soon forget.

among the injuries, i popped off my big toe nail when i tried to kick start a quad with bare feet

and the tradition is that on Saturday night of this event, a few of the guys light off a huge fireworks display.  like boxes and boxes of fireworks, and good stuff too.  well, i should've known that it wasn't going to end well when some of them were going about 8 feet of the ground and exploding instead of the normal 20-30 feet.  it was funny then though because it was just making the iceholes lighting the fireworks scatter.  but then, they lit one and the tube fell over and the fire work shot right into the pavilion where we were all sitting and farging exploded.  it was farging scary as hell.  they didn't do any fireworks after that.

[Munson]

wear a helmet too...them boys from dagsboro aim for the head

They use real shottys, i'm playing with some friends and coworkers who for the most part do not meet redneck standards. 

lol at dagsboro reference.

[shorebird]

i spent all weekend in Loganton, PA at my buddy's mountain home at an event he has every year for his dad's birthday.  it's basically a weekend long bingefest of booze, food, and anything else unhealthy.

i took the kids because my wife worked this weekend and they experienced things that i doubt they will soon forget.

among the injuries, i popped off my big toe nail when i tried to kick start a quad with bare feet

and the tradition is that on Saturday night of this event, a few of the guys light off a huge fireworks display.  like boxes and boxes of fireworks, and good stuff too.  well, i should've known that it wasn't going to end well when some of them were going about 8 feet of the ground and exploding instead of the normal 20-30 feet.  it was funny then though because it was just making the iceholes lighting the fireworks scatter.  but then, they lit one and the tube fell over and the fire work shot right into the pavilion where we were all sitting and farging exploded.  it was farging scary as hell.  they didn't do any fireworks after that.

I'd say drunk guys shooting off fireworks could end up being pretty unhealthy, yeah.

[Seabiscuit36]

Paintball was farging awesome, the rental gun sucked as for accuracy, but it was a great time.  The place was huge, 65 acres, this could get addictive  http://www.ecxpaintballpark.com/

[Yeti]

I bought fireworks for the fourth.  One of the big tubes came apart and the powder was all over the box but the shell was intact.  I took a bunch of firecrackers and unrolled them and put the powder in the tube.  I replaced the shell and put the cardboard packing back in the tube.  When I lit it it went up about half the height it was supposed to, came back down and went off about ten feet above the ground close to me.  It was one of those crackle ones so it crackled around me for like 5 seconds while I basically covered up.  Everybody at the party got quiet, then my drunk wife yelled out "Yaaaaay".

It got a big laugh, the bitch.

[General_Failure]

The friggin' storm killed my wireless router and the ethernet port on my laptop this afternoon. That was fun.

[PhillyPhreak54]

I bought fireworks for the fourth.  One of the big tubes came apart and the powder was all over the box but the shell was intact.  I took a bunch of firecrackers and unrolled them and put the powder in the tube.  I replaced the shell and put the cardboard packing back in the tube.  When I lit it it went up about half the height it was supposed to, came back down and went off about ten feet above the ground close to me.  It was one of those crackle ones so it crackled around me for like 5 seconds while I basically covered up.  Everybody at the party got quiet, then my drunk wife yelled out "Yaaaaay".

It got a big laugh, the bitch.

The wife part had me lmao....why, I dont know.

[ice grillin you]

anyone know if youre supposed to tip movers

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Yes, if they do a pretty good job, you should definitely tip them.

$0 each if they obviously don't care and break a bunch of your stuff
$20 each if they work as expected
$50 each if you are very impressed

[phillymic2000]

Yes, my bro-inlaw and myself have been doing moving jobs on the side for about 12 years. Not just little ones, we've moved people to Tenn, Austin Tx. D.C. etc...    in all the jobs maybe one or two of them did not tip us.

[ice grillin you]

Yes, if they do a pretty good job, you should definitely tip them.

$0 each if they obviously don't care and break a bunch of your stuff
$20 each if they work as expected
$50 each if you are very impressed

thanks....heres the deal tho...they are taking my stuff today storing it until my new house is done in late sept then moving it in at that time...so as far as the job they do and breaking shtein ect i wont find out for a while...so should i tip each guy today a 20 johnson