Drunk Stories

mussa · March 26, 2006, 08:49:04 PM

NGM · March 26, 2006, 08:59:46 PM

Two of my buddies and me decided to go visit my friend over in Kutztown. Two of us got loaded on the way up while the other drove. Our friend calls us on the way up and says we have to meet him out at a party instead of going to his apartment. We stop of and grab a 30 pack of Old Mudd and proceed to the party. When we get there, there are a bunch of meathead football players who insist that newcomers have to shotgun beers. About ten shotguns later we all head out to the bar. They were doing a Jager promotion at the bar that night and out buddy knew one of the girls. So we were getting free shot of Jager all night. Sometime around 1:00 AM we leave to go to another bar, the bouncer saw the state I was in and refused to let me enter (I was blacked out at this point). My friends go into the bar to rip a shot and leave me outside. Next thing I know I wake up the next morning in the back of a car which I assumed was my friend's who had driven up. It took me about ten seconds to realized it wasn't. So here I am in the back of a Ford Focus with no idea where I am. I call my buddies to ask where they were so I could meet up. They said they had no idea because I had wondered off at the last bar. I walk to the nearest Turkey Hill and ask him how far I am from my buddies apartment complex. He says that that is in Kutztown which is a half hour away.

So basically I woke up in the back of an unknown car in an unknown town with no idea how I had gotten there. Scary shtein.

PhillyPhanInDC · March 26, 2006, 09:45:42 PM

Quote from: NGM on March 26, 2006, 08:59:46 PM
Two of my buddies and me decided to go visit my friend over in Kutztown. Two of us got loaded on the way up while the other drove. Our friend calls us on the way up and says we have to meet him out at a party instead of going to his apartment. We stop of and grab a 30 pack of Old Mudd and proceed to the party. When we get there, there are a bunch of meathead football players who insist that newcomers have to shotgun beers. About ten shotguns later we all head out to the bar. They were doing a Jager promotion at the bar that night and out buddy knew one of the girls. So we were getting free shot of Jager all night. Sometime around 1:00 AM we leave to go to another bar, the bouncer saw the state I was in and refused to let me enter (I was blacked out at this point). My friends go into the bar to rip a shot and leave me outside. Next thing I know I wake up the next morning in the back of a car which I assumed was my friend's who had driven up. It took me about ten seconds to realized it wasn't. So here I am in the back of a Ford Focus with no idea where I am. I call my buddies to ask where they were so I could meet up. They said they had no idea because I had wondered off at the last bar. I walk to the nearest Turkey Hill and ask him how far I am from my buddies apartment complex. He says that that is in Kutztown which is a half hour away.

So basically I woke up in the back of an unknown car in an unknown town with no idea how I had gotten there. Scary shtein.

And your ass hurt when you woke up. It's okay, no one here will make fun of you for telling the real ending.

Seriously.

NGM · March 26, 2006, 10:00:13 PM

I was waiting for that. Mine shins were all banged up and I had a substantial lump on the side of my dome. My a-hole felt fine. And believe me, it was one of the first things I thought about.

Drunkmasterflex · March 27, 2006, 07:37:52 PM

Quote from: PhillyPhreak54 on March 26, 2006, 08:31:24 PM
DMF,

Are you in Ft. Hood?

Roger

PhillyPhreak54 · March 27, 2006, 07:44:42 PM

What club were you at?

SD_Eagle5 · March 27, 2006, 07:59:36 PM

Most likely the Blue Oyster

Drunkmasterflex · March 27, 2006, 08:09:06 PM

Quote from: PhillyPhreak54 on March 27, 2006, 07:44:42 PM
What club were you at?

I think it was called Fusion, uh yeah Fusion. It sucked because it is not really my scene but it was quite the meat market.

PhillyPhreak54 · March 27, 2006, 08:21:43 PM

Fusion? Is that the one that is out by the Mickey's on Highway 195 in Killeen?

That place has changed names so many time I forgot what its called now.

Drunkmasterflex · March 28, 2006, 11:49:45 AM

Quote from: PhillyPhreak54 on March 27, 2006, 08:21:43 PM
Fusion? Is that the one that is out by the Mickey's on Highway 195 in Killeen?

That place has changed names so many time I forgot what its called now.

I have no clue.

PhillyPhreak54 · March 28, 2006, 11:50:56 AM

I think it is. That is the place where I spent my 21st birthday. Good night. Totally shteinfaced.

Drunkmasterflex · April 21, 2006, 05:31:40 PM

Lastnight I was sitting in my room having a gin and tonic when one of my Sgts came into my room and said that I had to get rid of all my alcohol. I of course was a more than a little pissed off. It turns out that one of the other drunken soldiers decided to go swimming in our back parking lot, it becomes a lake after any substantial rain. He was also mooning people and whatnot. Normally this wouldn't be much of a problem but there was a FRG meeting which is a family support group. Of course when this idiot was doing this all the wives and high brass decided it was time to leave. This was not the first incident but it was the proverbial straw. This means I have to smuggle booze like I am a goddamn 16 year old.

PhillyPhanInDC · April 21, 2006, 08:14:35 PM

Are you in a barracks? And if so.....why they hell are they having FRGs there?

The barracks' that I always wound up looked like Animal House on a daily basis. They used special paint on the cinderblock so shtein (vomit, booze, bodily fluids, etc.) wouldn't stick to it. Officers, senior enlisted, and any people with any morals, even loosely held ones, stayed the farg away.

Drunkmasterflex · April 22, 2006, 01:58:05 PM

Quote from: PhillyPhaninDC on April 21, 2006, 08:14:35 PM
Are you in a barracks? And if so.....why they hell are they having FRGs there?

The barracks' that I always wound up looked like Animal House on a daily basis. They used special paint on the cinderblock so shtein (vomit, booze, bodily fluids, etc.) wouldn't stick to it. Officers, senior enlisted, and any people with any morals, even loosely held ones, stayed the farg away.

I am in a brand new unit so we don't have a lot of facilties yet, the whole animal house thing that is kind of how it is here that is what they are trying to curtail.

Phillyiggles_fan · April 22, 2006, 07:46:53 PM

In college, at this bar where you could get in with a note from your mom, me and a buddy were drinking during what they called Therapy which was a pitcher of the Beast and a couple test tube Kamikazie shot for 5 bucks I think, kinda hazy on the price after a few years.

Well, we had been drinking pretty ard all night and got there and polished off most of the pitcher and the first round of shots. We got a second serving of therapy and the shot just hit my buddy's stomach wrong, he turned kinda red and blue at the same time and lookedl ike he was gonna puke. So I handed him the pitcher we had just polished off, and he puked into it.

I grabbed it and put it down on the bar and we bugged out of there. Well were about a 1/4 block away when the bouncer comes running out of the bar with this pitcher of puke, yelling bloody murder. It's about 20 F outside so the pitcher is steaming in the cold air. Funny sight, big football player type dude holding a steaming glass pitcher of vomit. God, I wish cell phone cameras were around back then.

I was laughing so hard I could barely keep walking away...

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