Drunk Stories

[Yeti]

  Now that's what I'm talkin about.

Reminds me of a buddy of mine.  I was up visiting friends at College.  One of my buddys, Mike, was an O lineman sized dude with a heavy booze hand.  We went out to a bunch of bars and then some parties.  Somewhere along the way we lost him.  The next morning some skinny freshman knocked on my buddies door and said "I think your friend passed out in our room.  We walked over (to a different building) and sure enough Mike was passed out in the kids bed.  I said "Was he out partying with you guys last night and the kid said "No, at three oclock in the morning he was banging on the door.  My roommate opened the door.  He pushed us out of the way, pissed on my speaker and passed out in my bed."

Welcome to College kid.

[Seabiscuit36]

I have so many but one of the funniest was our Senior Week at Dewey Beach when we graduated highschool.  We had 13 people who paid to stay in our condo which was directly across from Grotto Pizza on the ocean side.  We had gone to the Dave Matthews concert at the Vet 3 weeks before and met abunch of the guys that had graduated the year before.  They were calling our house the drug house    and these were exactly boyscouts.  Of the 13 people that went down 10 of us had the forsight to buy beer and liquor and bring it down.  Of the 10 each person brought 3-4 30packs.  My friend chris picked me up in his moms minivan which had mine and 3 other peoples beer.  The van was tilting back so much it looked like it was ready to take off. 

We found the place at 9pm friday night after walking into the wrong house 20 minutes earlier but still managing to drink someone elses beers.  Our house was ridiulous.  Nitrous, a beerwall 5 1/2 feet tall and 3 1/2 feet thick it was on.  Whipitz, beer, body shots of tequila off the chicks who stayed it was great.  Then one by one people went missing.  My cousin showed up at 1:30 am after going out at the rudder/northbeach/bottle and cork and made the best park job drunk ive ever seen.  When he walked upstairs he was expecting a party but there was only 5 people still moving. 

My boy was ripped out of his mind on Corona's w/bacardi limon he had about 10 and was falling all over.  he went to put the moves on one of the girls staying at the place while we were talking all on the porch.  My buddy sat down next to her and started feeling her leg, next thing you know he's rolling down the stairs on the deck from the second story to the first, puking along the way.  Bile Bile Bile everywhere that night.  He had a bad stretch of days.  The next day cooking burgers he went to jump over the hibachi grill and knocked it over sending a burning coal into his hightops burnin the shtein out of his ankle. 

Eventually we were kicked out Tueday after monday nights party got out of hand, during the day people were throwing bottles of corona at the Jolly Trolly that drives around and put a huge dent in the side with a bigslam filled with water.  The cops showed up at 12am on the dot raiding the house people jumping off the decks to the ground and to adjacent condos.  It ended up being the biggest bust in dewey but nothing happed of it du2 some of the parents of people staying there were wellknown.  It was a crazy week completly drunk or lifted allday with maybe 2 hours of sleep a night. 

[mussa]

are u drunk now? 

[Yeti]

It ended up being the biggest bust in dewey but nothing happed of it du2 some of the parents of people staying there were wellknown.  It was a crazy week completly drunk or lifted allday with maybe 2 hours of sleep a night. 

are u drunk now? 

 

[Seabiscuit36]

Been working on it since 5 

[PhillyPhanInDC]

Most of my drunk stories come way of the Marine Corps. When I should have been in college I was running around with the same amount of booze as college kid, but was most of the time in strange cultures I didn't attempt to understand. Here is one of these stories:

Story #1:
It's New Year's eve 2002, and we're in some dive bar named Jacara in Hiroshima, Japan. This bar is an out of the way joint that is/was rarely frequented by Americans, military or otherwise. In the group, there is myself, my roommate, a short, eighteen year old kid from Arkansas who had never touched booze in his life, and lived in a town of maybe 100 people. Finally, there is a guy named Hunter, who is a 6'6" radio operator. Hunter is a beast, grew up on a farm in Washington, can drink more and maintain more so than anyone I have ever met.  We are the only foreigners (gaijing) in the bar that night, and my friend and I have our "Japa-ho's" with us. There is an unusually large amount of Japanese businessmen who are piss drunk when we arrive around 10:00 at night. Upon seeing the group of us Americans, with a gigantic instance of such a person in tow, it becomes their mission to see how much it will cost to get us all drunk (this was a fairly common occurrence in most Asian countries, especially Japan. I believe this is the main reason I miss it so).
The businessmen begin to gather around Hunter, and make jokes and speak broken English with him. All the while feeding him shots of Tequila, Sake, Whiskey, and pints of good Japanese brew. When me or one of the other guys pass by they offer booze as well, but it is clear that are enamored with the giant American. This process goes on for several hours, until just after 1:00am, and Hunter is beginning show some adverse effects. We are all starving and the girls are wanting to go to a dance club, and stop along the way for some sushi. We begin to filter out of the bar, and once we are down the Elevator and outside, we realize Hunter is MIA.
A couple of us fly back upstairs and begin to search the extremely small, extremely crowded bar for a huge, white dude. We have no luck, and head back toward the exit. The guy I am with notices some commotion back by the restrooms. We make our way back, pushing little Japanese girls this way and that (this bar was seriously the size of a tiny studio apartment), and once we get back near one of the two unisex bathrooms, we see Hunter.
Passed out on the toilet, pants around his ankles and his head back, mouth agape and snoring. The door is open, and there is a throng of Japanese people gesturing to his man-tackle and saying things like Sugoi! (Wow, super, amazing, etc.). They have their high-tech cell phones out and are taking pictures of Hunter's twig and berries and sending them off to their friends. One girl advances, reaches down and begins to tug on his dork as if trying to pull a gun from a holster.
At this point my friend and I are hysterical, unable to move. Eventually, we are able to get it together, advance into the bathroom, get Hunter back together and get him out of the bar. We eat and walk him around getting him just sober enough to function. About 6:00am, we make our way back to the train station to head back to the base. We got him in his room, dropped his heavy ass into his rack, and never mentioned the incident. Still, to this day, I have no doubt that Hunter is a legend among the Japanese people of Hiroshima.

[Yeti]

   Now that is a god damn funny story.   

[PhillyPhanInDC]

Awesome. I found the bar's website. Ha.

[MDS]

you lost me at twig and berries

[Yeti]

But "man tackle" you were still OK with.  Hmmmm.  Interesting

[stalker]

I made the mistake of becoming enamored with a drink recipe from the renowned sheep farger "Tomahawk" called an El Nino. I had been drinking these shots for about a year and getting pretty much horizontal at my neighborhood establishments. After this year was up, I took the formula to the west coast on a business trip. The recipe was modified by the bartender in Newport to replace the Captain Morgans with Bacardi 151. Now here is the problem. These shots can be consumed very rapidly with very little alcohol affects felt immediately. I ordered several rounds and we all consumed them. After 6-8 shots no one wanted anymore even though there were two shakers full on the bar. I called them a bunch of Hoydas and proceeded to drink both shakers in the next 10 minutes. I really don't remember much after that but this is what was told to me. I beat up a 19 year old kid who had no ID and was denied booze. Evidently he gave my bartender friend a hard time about not serving him. So I beat him to a pulp in the alley out back. I puked on my bosses brand new Bruno Maglis. I knocked down all the stalls in the men's room because someone was in my favorite stall. I lost $700 playing fooseball. My friend payed a cab driver $100 to get me back to my hotel and make sure I got in the door. I don't have even a vague memory of any of these antics. I woke up 2 days later and had to buy a news paper to be convinced it was Saturday nad not Friday.

[PhillyPhanInDC]

You don't need a newspaper to tell that story sucked wang.

[Father Demon]

Having never been drunk, I have no stories to tell.

[thrillhouse]

End of the semester and  I went out drinking, my roommate stayed in because of a final the next day.  I played a bunch of games of beirut.  I came back and felt tipsy, but went to sleep.  Next morning I wake up, not feeling the best, but feeling ok.  My roommate comes back from his test and asks if I was alright.  I said, "fine why do you ask"
"Because last night you were makeing all sorts of gaging sounds, like you were going to puke, tossing and turning.  Then at one point you walked over here, and it sounded like you were pissing."
I walked over to where he was pointing, I inspected the floor, nothing.  Then i started walking back to my bed and found a huge wet spot in the carpet...

[PhillyPhreak54]

I have too many - I think I could write a book.

My 21st birthday was pretty bad. I thought I had alcohol poisoning. I ended up becoming so drunk that I passed out standing up while splashing water on my face in the bathroom. I went backwards and right through the wall in our bathroom. In a brand new apartment complex. I fell asleep in the plaster and wood and was woken up by my girlfriend and best friend. They heard the crash while they were washing my puke off the balcony.