farg Dallas! Thread

[methdeez]

Dallas.
Igor Olshanksy.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3959111

[Eagaholic]

I bet he picks up the scheme pretty quickly

[QB Eagles]

There was a gay escort on Howard Stern yesterday claiming that he had sex with a Dallas Cowboy. Yet another way to "farg Dallas!"

[Eagaholic]

more dallas crackboys

Former Dallas Cowboy Arrested on Drug Charges
Posted by Aaron Wilson on April 5, 2009, 12:06 p.m.

Former Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Leonardo Carson was arrested by FBI agents at his Texas home after being indicted in Alabama last month, according to the Dallas Morning News.

Carson, 32, was charged with conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute cocaine, crack cocaine, and marijuana.  He faces federal and state drug charges.

Carson, who played collegiately at Auburn, played for the Cowboys during the 2003 and 2004 seasons.

[PhillyPhreak54]

Nice spelling, Martellus.

Martellus Bennett, The Blogger
Posted by Mike Florio on April 8, 2009, 9:16 a.m.

For his last Internet venture, Cowboys tight end Martellus Bennett did some rapping.

Eventually, the Cowboys did some fining.

This time around, Bennett is blogging for the Dallas Morning News.

Though it's not nearly as entertaining as a profane rap song, it's . . . um . . . intriguing.

Here's a portion of his first entry, from last week:

"Have you ever went on a date and the girl didn't look as good as you remember?  This really sucks! Yesterday my friend went to meet a girl at the movies he had met at the bar two nights before. We all know once you have a few drinks everything seems to look better it's what we call the Grey Goose affect. LOL (laugh out loud)."  [Editor's note:  Thanks, Martellus, for letting me know what "LOL" means.  I had always wondered, but was too afraid to ask.  In 1998.]

"Well anyways he goes to the movies to meet this woman when he gets there I recieve several text messages about how cute she isn't and it couldn't be the same girl. . . .  Instead of leaving he orders popcorn, sour patches and two big 44oz drinks and proceeds into the movie finds them a seat and begins to sip his drink.  He watches the previews and tells her that they need to go see one of the future movies in the previews if they ever go to the movie together again and smiles.  Then he goes 'man this is some strong stuff it is going straight threw me I have to go to the restroom.'  Gets up and walks all the way to his car gets in it starts it and leaves.  Hahaha.  Didn't tell her bye or anything just left.  Now that's funny but is truly messed up."

And here's what surely will go down as an Internet classic, from Tuesday of this week:

"Man what do you do if your chic farts?  It doesn't seem as if women should fart.  I was walking in the grocery store in the chips and dips aisle.  This lady was walking in front of me pushing her cart she stopped to pick up some pringles and let one rip.  Sounded like a growl and and a motor but smelt like a dead carcus.

"I guess women have to let go at times too but it just doesn't seem right, but if they do then it shouldn't smell or make a sound. I mean come on if you were on a date with Angelina Jolie a lunch date eating
spaghetti and pancakes or whatever it is people eat in Hollywood and as she's feeding you she farts.  Do you let her slide because of her beauty or call her out?"

But Martellus hasn't yet abandoned his first love.  Bennett and his partner from the rap that got "Marty B" fined have made a new song, without the profanity.

And we've finally figured out why some songs include profanity.  It helps to distract attention from the fact that, you know, the song sucks.

[rjs246]

Ironically, I am currently enjoying a spaghetti and pancake lunch.

[Eagaholic]

Quincy Carter Is Back, Sort Of
Posted by Mike Florio on April 8, 2009, 10:43 a.m.

Years after his NFL career disintegrated into a fine white powder (allegedly), quarterback Quincy Carter continues to play the game.

Sort of.

He's now employed by the Abilene Ruff Riders of the Indoor Football League.

Carter, a second-round pick of the Cowboys in 2001, will make $200 per game, with a whopping $50 bonus for each victory.

Earlier this week, Carter led the Ruff Riders to a victory over the Odessa Roughnecks.  He threw five touchdown passes.

On February 27, Carter was arrested for drunk driving and marijuana possession.  His blood alcohol concentration reportedly was 0.14 percent.

Next week should be an easy game against the Sinclair Roughhousers, then a tough one at home against the Lakewood Ruffians.

[Tomahawk]

The teams in that IFL sound pretty Rough

[General_Failure]

I'm a fan of the Birchwood Ne'erdowells.

[methdeez]

An entry from Martellus Bennet's blog:

Yowsers!!

I believe in aliens. I've actually seen four or five of them in my
lifetime. Although they aren't as smart as everyone seems to think. I
played one in monopoly, checkers, and chess and I destroy him/her
couldn't really tell which it was so I'm just going to call it It. It
made the same mistakes over and over again in checkers it was funny. I
had five kings three minutes into the game. It sucked. I mean it could
have just been a dumb alien, I mean there are dumb people and I'm
probably one of them. LOL. Thanks Texas A&M LOL. Joking I love y'all I
must say I'm smarter than my teammates. Anyways! This alien was super
dumb so I decided to play him and bet something. I bet my truck in
exchange for it to stay and work for me. It accepted. So we proceeded
the first game was basketball, I knew that this would be a sure win
considering I'm awesome at the game. So the game began after I
explained the rules it understood. I got the ball first I was playing
similar to Lebron James on this particular day. Beat him 15 to 6 he
hit 3 2s. Yes I won. Next we decided to golf I suck at this. The
alien was about 4 foot 16 LOL add it up, with a Marcus Spears stomach
and Jason Witten arms. That's weird looking and it had a Peyton
Manning head with Reggie McNeal legs. So picture that. It was awesome
at golf 18 hole in ones. It won. So I decided to name it Lion Forest
LOL because it was that impressive. After that we decided to play a
game of Madden this was the final game I had to win. Of course I
picked the Cowboys, did minor roster changes made myself the starter
and so on. Lmao. It picked the Giants because it said a bunch of
aliens it knew played for them. I didn't even bother asking. Anyways I
won 42 to 3 I had 200 yards recieving and 2 tds, Witten had 136 yards
3 tds I love throwing to the TE and Jay Ratliff returned a fumble for
a td. That was the game. So now I have a alien maid and BFF, it's a
great wingman I just ask the girls if they ever been to Jupiter and we
take em. It does make weird sounds when we watch E.T or see ED on ESPN
LOL. Well if you ever wanna meet a alien holla at me.


Never stop chasing your dreams.

Peace, Love and Happiness

Marty B

http://cowboysinsiderblog.dallasnews.com/

[BigEd76]

Dallas' schedule:

9/13 = at Buccaneers 1:00
9/20 = GIANTS SNF
9/28 = PANTHERS MNF
10/4 = at Broncos 4:15
10/11 = at Chiefs 1:00
10/18 = BYE
10/25 = FALCONS 4:15
11/1 = SEAHAWKS 1:00
11/8 = at Eagles SNF
11/15 = at Packers 4:15
11/22 = taterskinS 1:00
11/26 = RAIDERS 4:15 Thanksgiving
12/6 = at Giants 4:15 FLEX
12/13 = CHARGERS 4:15 FLEX
12/19 = at Saints NFLN Saturday
12/27 = at taterskins SNF
1/3 = EAGLES 1:00 FLEX

[ice grillin you]

classic new blog entry from martellus

Why do black people love chicken?
1:36 PM Wed, Apr 22, 2009 | Permalink | Yahoo! Buzz
Martellus Bennett    E-mail   News tips
Why do black people love chicken?

Why do black people love chicken is a question my white friends ask me
constantly. Honestly I don't know the answer to the question besides
the fact that fried chicken is delicious. To find out more of what may
be the reason black people love chicken I did a survey. And in return
to my friends my question to them is why don't black people come in
the picture frames? You know what I mean the stock photos are always
happy white families but I never see black families. Maybe that will
change now that Obama is in office that's a great looking black
family, they are always happy and they jus recently added to the
family with a cute dog. That would would be a great stock photo. But
anyways.
here are some of the answers to my survey! I asked numerous people.

1) everybody likes chicken not just black people.

2) because it's greasey and black people use grease (LOL)

3) because back in the day that was all they were able to eat.
Everyone else would eat beef and not chicken

4) I don't know fool. Haha.

5) because it's in our DNA (really)

6) because it's let's fattening then red meat

7) because you can cook it with anything

it makes us run faster and jump higher

9) during slave times chicken was considered dirty so they fed it to
the slaves.

10) the media makes people believe chicken is all black people eat.
I'm black and I don't like chicken. (hahaha yea right)

11) my answer: everybody loves chicken despite race sex gender chicken
is scrumptious and everyone enjoys it. If you haven't had chicken go
get some.


With all that being said I am about to go get me a spicy ten piece
with fo (four) biscuits and a large red beans from popeyes. I don't
need a drink because I have purple koolaid at home.


Never stop chasing your dreams.

Peace, Love and Happiness

Marty B

[rjs246]

With all that being said I am about to go get me a spicy ten piece
with fo (four) biscuits and a large red beans from popeyes.

Jesus christ I miss Popeyes.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Bojangles > Popeyes

[rjs246]

Bojangles biscuit sandwiches are greater than anything on earth. But Popeyes' spicy chicken with a side of redbeans and rice is a close second.