Message Board Melt-down

[MURP]

 

[MDS]

What a dorky thread.

[Rome]

What's weird is, NB was never like that on the EMB.

When I started posting here, his posting style was completely different.

Take heed... this is what happens when you allow religious fanaticism to rule your life.

[General_Failure]

The Online Disinhibition Effect

[Father Demon]

Next, someone will tell me that hbionic is really Canadian......

[hbionic]

Wow...that is totally not what I pictued him like.

[General_Failure]

Perhaps his generic Republican suit was at the dry cleaners that day.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Perhaps his generic Republican suit was at the dry cleaners that day.

He only wears that when he goes door to door with tracts and vials of holy water.

[rjs246]

The Online Disinhibition Effect

So wait, are you saying that people aren't really like this in real life? That people act differently on a message board than in real life? This isn't reality?! Inconceivable.

[Sgt PSN]

Wow...that is totally not what I pictued him like.

That's not going to ruin the fantasy for you, is it?

[Sgt PSN]

The Online Disinhibition Effect

So wait, are you saying that people aren't really like this in real life? That people act differently on a message board than in real life? This isn't reality?! Inconceivable.

It's true.  In real life, Dio is a conformist and I hate America. 

[Wingspan]

he is a conformist. working for corporate america, paying bills, and still alive, just like the rest of us

[Sgt PSN]

Fine, then in real life Dio is a God fearing Christian conservative. 

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Gems like this post, entitled "Today has been, bar none, hands down, THE MOST EMBARRASING, day of my life.", are the reason I visit this other board from time to time:

So I go to lunch with a co-worker, nothing out of the ordinary. Sit down, have my meal, talk about work, usual stuff. At lunch I notice a commercial for the "Spa Spin", I turn to the co-worker, "That looks pretty cool, I think I'm going to buy one when we get back to the office." We finish our lunch, pay, and head out to his car, a nice, shiny black 05 Acura TL. On the way back, we're talking, joking around, when I feel a fart brewing. I turn to him, "I'm sorry to do it to you man, but..." I clench my fists in front of me, pull them into my chest for effect, and proceed to push out the fart. A fraction of a second later, I realize that there is nothing gaseous coming out, and that I had just pooped on myself. I immediately clench up, trying to stem the flow, but it was too late. I feel the squishy, wet poo in my pants, and raise up off of his seat.

"UUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH, oh my god, oh my god." This coupled with the look on my face let him know what had just happened.

"OH NO! You didn't! BWAHAHAHAAHAHHAA!" He starts laughing hysterically, while I'm sitting there in terror. I can't help it and start laughing hysterically too, which only forces my stomach to release another blast. So here we are, both laughing hysterically after I just pooped in his car, and the smell hits us. He rolls down his windows as we race back to the office, both laughing. I can't say anything except, "oh my god, I can't believe this is happening, I am soooooo sorry." over and over. We get to the office, he pulls right next to my car, and shuts off the engine.

"Can you please get out first, I don't want you to see this." I ask, unsure of just how foul the mess would be. He complies, and I try to get out without touching the seat. I get out, look down and see this huge wet spot of disgusting, thick, filtered diarrea sitting on his perforated leather seats. I scuttle towards my car (making sure to keep my back to him), and remember that I have a synthetic chamois in my trunk. I grab the chamois, and see a half empty bottle of water and grab that, scuttle back over and desperately try to mop up the mess in his seat. I do my best, and tell him I promise to clean it up better later. I tell him that I'm going home. "No prob man, I'll just tell the group that your Wife called and that you had to go home to take care of something."

So I take the Ziplock bag that the chamois was in, stick it on my seat, and squish down, and proceed to HAUL ASS the whole way home (about 30 miles) sitting in my own filth. The whole way back, I have to keep the windows down and the heater cranked to avoid the nauseating smell. I get home, run up to the bathroom, strip, and proceed to unleash the rest of the liquid fury lurking within. I hop in the shower and try to scrub myself raw to get everything off. I realize the irony that not an hour earlier I had been wanting to buy a motorized shower scrubber, and wished that I had it right then.

After the shower, I scramble to find something to wear, hoping I have something clean in the same colors so that nobody will notice - black slacks and a black french cuff shirt. I realize that I had taken nearly all of my clothes to the cleaners this past weekend, and all I can scrounge up in my closet that's clean is a pair of Tan slacks and bright orange shirt, great. I throw it on, hop in the other car (I'll deal with the interior of the first car later), and haul ass back to work.

I try to sneak in undetected, and everybody that I pass looks at me and snickers. I get to my desk, and find a printout for coupons on Depends undergarments sitting on my keyboard. Great, "won't tell anybody" my ass. I guess I would have done the same thing in his shoes.

I swear, I will never, ever, ever, ever live this down. I'll never be able to give anybody a hard time about anything, because no matter what, I'm the guy who pooped in a co-workers car. I think I need to find a new job.

I nearly shat myself laughing.

[Sgt PSN]

proceed to unleash the rest of the liquid fury lurking within

That's funny.