Grouphug

[rjs246]

I took an ungodly amount of tranquilizers and donkey laxatives once, and I hit my roommmate with a tennis racket because I thought he was a dragon.

AH! AHahahAHAhAHAHah! That was high quality.

[rjs246]

My Professor is currently teaching us about the Pigeon-Hole Principle. I want to moon him and yell out "PIGEON-HOLE THIS!!"

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

I got up this morning, went down to the convenience store, and wound up picking up a hooker.

When I'm not even trying, the universe puts this in my path!

She had no front teeth, alas, although she was only 35 and had a nice, tight body. But, she had to be somewhere, so I took her back before I was done.

She promised me more. I'm contemplating whether to go back and tap that, or wait for a potential evening out with the dirty little slut I'm seeing on the side instead.

I like how the girl he's dating and not the hooker is the one he refers to as 'on the side.' Well done.

Note that he doesn't say he's not married.

[Sgt PSN]

i think most of these confessions are farging lame.

I guess he never saw this one:

I just got married and am on my honeymoon, both me and my wife are virgins but she just told me she had crabs and gonoreah

[rjs246]

i really shouldn't have stuck that didjeridoo into my ass unlubed. i think something got ripped, causing bursts of feces to splatter against my tidy-whities during the most inopportune times. it's been happening for a week now and i just want it to stop. ben.

[The BIGSTUD]

My sister is a stuck up bitch! Anyway she bought this new scrub brush, I didn't know it was hers... I scrubed my meatcicle with it... once I found out it was hers... I came all over it... I didn't wash it off after that... The Bitch deserves it

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

I cried when watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition last week.

I am a 21 year old male.

MDS?

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

When I was 9 years old I was playing with my G.I. Joes and as any kid would I got curious about certain orifices on my body. So I was putting my G.I. joe up my rear, yeah, I know, how stupid was I. Anyways when I pulled it out, the head of the G.I. Joe got stuck, and I was really embarrased. I didn't want to tell my parents, and so I asked my sister to help me out who was 15 years old. Well, she proceeded to put a finger in that area, and get the G.I. Joe out. In the process I had what I realized was my first erection, and I didn't know what to do with it. My sister I guess got aroused by this and started to play with me and then started jerking me off....my confession is that since that day, I am 16 now and she is 21, we still mess around and have sex on a regular basis. She's in college so when she get's the chance she will come see me and we go out and have sex together anywhere we can, we tell each other we love one another, and I want to marry her but I don't know how our family is going to take that. Are we wrong in the way we feel?

This guy isn't even attempting to be believable.  But it's funny anyway.

[rjs246]

I couldn't care less if they're real or not. Sometimes fact is funny, sometimes fiction is funny. Whatever. Just make me laugh, monkeys.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

once i valet parked howard sterns car at the resturant where i worked and i stole all of his change out of his ash tray. I know he can afford it but i still think i owe him around 1.54

Crackhead and/or Yoda freak may want to call Howard and let him know.

[methdeez]

I took an ungodly amount of tranquilizers and donkey laxatives once, and I hit my roommmate with a tennis racket because I thought he was a dragon.

I would think  that the market for Donkey-specific laxatives would be a small one...

[The BIGSTUD]

i have a little kid fetish, sometimes when i am feeling horny i like to go down to the park and push little kids on the swings. sometimes i feel there asses and jack off to it afterwords. i am a dirty person and deserve to go to hell.

I stole money from the church donation box.

I don't feel bad about it at all and I'd do it again tomorrow.

[hbionic]

When I was 9 years old I was playing with my G.I. Joes and as any kid would I got curious about certain orifices on my body. So I was putting my G.I. joe up my rear, yeah, I know, how stupid was I. Anyways when I pulled it out, the head of the G.I. Joe got stuck, and I was really embarrased. I didn't want to tell my parents, and so I asked my sister to help me out who was 15 years old. Well, she proceeded to put a finger in that area, and get the G.I. Joe out. In the process I had what I realized was my first erection, and I didn't know what to do with it. My sister I guess got aroused by this and started to play with me and then started jerking me off....my confession is that since that day, I am 16 now and she is 21, we still mess around and have sex on a regular basis. She's in college so when she get's the chance she will come see me and we go out and have sex together anywhere we can, we tell each other we love one another, and I want to marry her but I don't know how our family is going to take that. Are we wrong in the way we feel?

[my pants]Zip[/my pants]            That was hot.

[Feva]

When I was 9 years old I was playing with my G.I. Joes and as any kid would I got curious about certain orifices on my body. So I was putting my G.I. joe up my rear, yeah, I know, how stupid was I. Anyways when I pulled it out, the head of the G.I. Joe got stuck, and I was really embarrased. I didn't want to tell my parents, and so I asked my sister to help me out who was 15 years old. Well, she proceeded to put a finger in that area, and get the G.I. Joe out. In the process I had what I realized was my first erection, and I didn't know what to do with it. My sister I guess got aroused by this and started to play with me and then started jerking me off....my confession is that since that day, I am 16 now and she is 21, we still mess around and have sex on a regular basis. She's in college so when she get's the chance she will come see me and we go out and have sex together anywhere we can, we tell each other we love one another, and I want to marry her but I don't know how our family is going to take that. Are we wrong in the way we feel?

[my pants]Zip[/my pants]            That was hot.

You're picturing yourself as the sister, aren't you?

[Sgt PSN]

When I was 9 years old I was playing with my G.I. Joes and as any kid would I got curious about certain orifices on my body. So I was putting my G.I. joe up my rear, yeah, I know, how stupid was I. Anyways when I pulled it out, the head of the G.I. Joe got stuck, and I was really embarrased. I didn't want to tell my parents, and so I asked my sister to help me out who was 15 years old. Well, she proceeded to put a finger in that area, and get the G.I. Joe out. In the process I had what I realized was my first erection, and I didn't know what to do with it. My sister I guess got aroused by this and started to play with me and then started jerking me off....my confession is that since that day, I am 16 now and she is 21, we still mess around and have sex on a regular basis. She's in college so when she get's the chance she will come see me and we go out and have sex together anywhere we can, we tell each other we love one another, and I want to marry her but I don't know how our family is going to take that. Are we wrong in the way we feel?

[my pants]Zip[/my pants]            That was hot.

You're picturing yourself as the sister, aren't you?

No, he was picturing himself as the GI Joe.