Grouphug

[rjs246]

I once used a Q-Tip stick and penetrated my hamster's vagina. I got a hard-on.

[rjs246]

the other day i was really bored and i had like 2 hours to kill so i tweezed my pubic hair. it hurt and it took forever.

[rjs246]

I farted and shtein my pants in 1997 while on holiday in Gran Canaria, I recently did it again
while sat in this very chair in December 2004. I wonder when and where it will hapen next time?
The mind boggles!

[rjs246]

   

i think i masturbate too much. i do it atleast 10 times a day. i have a bruise on my penis that has been there for a few months. whenever i get with girls i tell them i got hit there with a football or something.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

the other day i was really bored and i had like 2 hours to kill so i tweezed my pubic hair. it hurt and it took forever.

It hurts just to think about doing that.

[rjs246]

Jesus I'm looking at it right now and there are like 15 on one page that I want to paste here. This is is a freaking jackpot. I may never turn my computer off...

I won't paste them all, but here's a taste:

Sometimes when I'm around someone really stupid, I fantasize about me ripping off my own left arm and beating the person senseless with it.

That one really could be me.

I had intercourse with a chicken.

The customer hated my intranet. I want to die

No matter how clean I am the back of my neck always smells

Oh man, I've got to stop.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

rjs's next ladyfriend:

ok im a 14 year old girl and i'm obsessed with sex. I watch porn clips on the computer and I read sex stories on the internet.

I'm a sex freak

PhillyPhreak54?:

sometimes i talk to my poster of Salma Hayek, as though she's my best friend. there are days i think she's my only friend.

[Rome]

 

[JTrotter Fan]

While trying to hump my computer i got my meatcicle stuck in the cd drive

[Phanatic]

I get sexual pleasure from standing on ducks' heads.

Oh man these are freaking great!!

[rjs246]

I want to be a pirate. I guess this is normal for 5 year old boys...but I'm a teenage girl. I mean I REALLY want to be a pirate. I have a ring,sword,telescope,hair clip, hoop ear rings...the whole bit. I play pretend and beat little kids up with my sword. I also really want to do a pirate...like Johhny Depp. Damn,the eye makeup is hot. Oh, A pirate's life for me

[Sgt PSN]

These are pretty good. 

I have been married for 8 years, and I still try and cyber-stalk my previous girlfriend. She left me in tears. I just try to look her up on the internet to see if she is dead. I hope so.

Poor Chuggie........

my boyfriend has a small penis. sometimes i want to laugh when giving blow jobs. we havent had sex yet and im a virgin. i was thinking, if hes that small, he cant break my hymen, therefore i could technically be a virgin forever. maybe that is a good thing.

Or is this Chuggie?

im a truck driver and i wore a bra and panties all day today. i do it lots of days. i would have a sex change if i could. im such a sissy. i give better head than my wife.

Or is it this one?  The choices are plentiful.

MY Gerbil is stuck in my ass... he's been there for 3 hours and it's starting to hurt... should I tell my mom?

can't stand my wife!! She makes me sick to my stomach...everything about her lately! I don't know why I bother coming home anymore. She's extremely lazy and a chronic complainer. I met this wonderful woman last year and she seems to be the perfect match for me. Only one problem..how do I get rid of "her"? I would love to get together with the "new" woman, we have so much more in common.

Wow, that sounds a lot like me 5 years ago......without the whole "I met somone else" thing.  Well, that and the not knowing how to get rid of her thing.  But other than that, just like me. 

Ever since I was young, I have had an inexplicable obsession with tampons. I am a man. I sneak into public women's restrooms and steal the used tampons out of the disposal box. I go home and stick them in my butthole to pretend that I am a woman using tampons.

I once peed in a bottle and almost accidentally drank it. Stupid.

I'm 19, and the last time i was at my girlfriend's house, i raped her 8 year old sister up the ass. She was screaming and crying the whole time, and it took about an hour and a half. Finally she passed out from the pain.
Am i a bad person?

No words. 

This one's for you DonHo.  And it sounds a lot like something rjs might say.   

We should genocide the hawaiians, Nobody would really miss them, it'd give us something to do.

[Sgt PSN]

Definately IGY

i'm white but i love to call people stillupfront's moms because omg you should see their face. like my boss walked by the other day, and i said "what's up my stillupfront's mom" and i thot she was gonna shtein a brick. i think i will have to go to another one of those "work etiquette" meetings but oh well. it was funny.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

I see rjs is still posting away:

When I was 15, I finger-banged a retard. I laughed when the retard made hissing noises.

Dio checking in:

I farging hate people...all people...

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Funny:

I have a problem with finishing things. It seems that sometimes I