Maddox Fans

[phattymatty]

that was a good one.  god i hate people who wear crocs. 

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Excellent.

[SD_Eagle5]

Maddox updated his page:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=puns

I read an exchange the other day between some loser flirting with some lonely single mom on a message board for lonely single losers (not to preclude one from the other, no reason you can't be both). The guy's avatar said "IRISH 4 LIFE," and his profile stated that he's a "Dave Matthews Band" fan, so already his face is high on my list of places I would like to rest my feet (Dave Matthews fans are like the trans-fats of fandom: oversaturated with obnoxiousness, found everywhere, and impossible to get rid of; for example, they only refer to the band as DMB... you can't abbreviate the word 'band' iceholes, it's a band by virtue of the fact that there is more than 1 person in it, and for the record, adding the word 'band' to your name doesn't make you any less of an egotistical shtein head). Man, you know what I hate? Dave Matthews.



It's the whitest band ever, which is saying something considering 3 of the members are black, and Dave Matthews is literally an African American (born in South Africa). His music can be heard in Whole Foods stores, Live Earth concerts, or blasting from the speakers of open-topped Jeeps parked on curbs everywhere. The typical fan is either some dude wearing khaki cargo shorts replete with dangling rock climbing hooks, even though he doesn't hike because he can't afford to drive his gas-guzzling Jeep, or some chick with huge boobs, buck teeth, and an ankle-length floral skirt that she twirls around like an idiot because she thinks her awesome boobs give her enough social capital to make up for the buck teeth and hairy toes (they don't):

[phattymatty]

so true...

There's no such thing as an unintentional pun; the act of typing the phrase "no pun intended" makes it intentional. If your pun truly wasn't intended, then why didn't you erase it and write something else, icehole?

[Dillen]

Anyone else have his book.

[rjs246]

Yes.

[SD]

http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=overrated_sandwiches

The most overrated sandwiches in America.

I've traveled around the country 3 times on book tour, and have thus been to most major cities and states. And every time I go to a new city that's famous for some special food or sandwich, I go out of my way to try it from the best location so that I'll have something to compare all other sandwiches to. Here are the results:

1. Philly Steak & Cheese

Every Philly cheesesteak sandwich I've ever had has been an exploration of sadness. No other sandwich on this list gets as much scrutiny and faux expertise bloviating about the "real" sandwich as much as the Philly cheesesteak. It's not even a sandwich anymore, it's just an excuse to be smug (like New Yorkers and their magic pizza).

Every time I tell someone I don't get what all the hype is about, they claim it's because I had a bad sandwich. This mythical food supposedly exists only in Philly. Then if you're actually in Philly and you commit the sin of not liking this dubious food icon, then apologists claim "you went to the wrong place." And if you happened to go to the right place, and you still think the sandwich is a mouthful of suck, then you "ordered it wrong."

I know how to order a sandwich you farging idiots. It's a sandwich. There's not much to it. And therein lies the problem: one of the ingredients is cheese whiz. That's right, all of the long-winded sermons about the "real Philly cheesesteak" is about a food that contains a yellow, processed, mucoussy cheese-flavored paste. Here are the ingredients in this "delicacy:"

    Ingredients:

        Sliced Steak
        Cheese Whiz
        Bread

When one of the ingredients in a food is processed cheese sauce, you don't have the right to be a snob about anything. Yes, I know you don't have to get it with cheese whiz. I've tried it with other cheese, and it still tastes like someone took an upper decker in my mouth. Too bad hype doesn't have flavor, because this sandwich would taste incredible if it did.

[MMH]

Blasphemy!

But seriously, when people I know go to Philly, I tell them to skip the steaks, and get soft pretzels.  Preferably from some dude on a street corner with a shopping cart.

[Diomedes]

He's right.

[phattymatty]

i love a good cheese steak but if i had to choose, i'd pick a good roast pork or even a good italian over a cheese steak any day.

[ice grillin you]

the problem with cheesesteaks is bad ones are pretty bad and theres a lot of them....but the best cheesesteaks kill anything

steves >>>>>> any roast pork or hoagie in the city

in other words its hard to make a great steak...where as the worst roast pork is still good


btw whos this douche maddox?

[PhillyPhreak54]

Yeah I agree with that...get a killer cheesesteak and it blows any other sandwich out of the water.

[ice grillin you]

nicks roast beef is in the same territory but yeah pretty much

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

the problem with cheesesteaks is bad ones are pretty bad and theres a lot of them....but the best cheesesteaks kill anything

steves >>>>>> any roast pork or hoagie in the city

in other words its hard to make a great steak...where as the worst roast pork is still good


btw whos this douche maddox?

Steve's is my favorite. Are you sure you want to agree?

[SD]

Steve's is alright...going with the double meat takes the sandwich from good to great. There's one near my place that I hit every once in a while. My favorite of all the trendy places is still probably Jim's.

I think Cheesesteaks lost their touch when places like Steve's, Tony Lukes, Jim's (local chain spots) started popping up. Sure I can appreciate these places but the old school steaks with shredded meat which was slapped on a roll without much thought were what I consider a real cheesesteak.