Best Song Lyrics Thread

[Fan_Since_64]

Desolation Row

by Bob Dylan

Album: Highway 61 Revisited

They're selling postcards of the hanging
They're painting the passports brown
The beauty parlor is filled with sailors
The circus is in town
Here comes the blind commissioner
They've got him in a trance
One hand is tied to the tight-rope walker
The other is in his pants
And the riot squad they're restless
They need somewhere to go
As Lady and I look out tonight
From Desolation Row

Cinderella, she seems so easy
"It takes one to know one," she smiles
And puts her hands in her back pockets
Bette Davis style
And in comes Romeo, he's moaning
"You Belong to Me I Believe"
And someone says," You're in the wrong place, my friend
You better leave"
And the only sound that's left
After the ambulances go
Is Cinderella sweeping up
On Desolation Row

Now the moon is almost hidden
The stars are beginning to hide
The fortunetelling lady
Has even taken all her things inside
All except for Cain and Abel
And the hunchback of Notre Dame
Everybody is making love
Or else expecting rain
And the Good Samaritan, he's dressing
He's getting ready for the show
He's going to the carnival tonight
On Desolation Row

Now Ophelia, she's 'neath the window
For her I feel so afraid
On her twenty-second birthday
She already is an old maid

To her, death is quite romantic
She wears an iron vest
Her profession's her religion
Her sin is her lifelessness
And though her eyes are fixed upon
Noah's great rainbow
She spends her time peeking
Into Desolation Row

Einstein, disguised as Robin Hood
With his memories in a trunk
Passed this way an hour ago
With his friend, a jealous monk
He looked so immaculately frightful
As he bummed a cigarette
Then he went off sniffing drainpipes
And reciting the alphabet
Now you would not think to look at him
But he was famous long ago
For playing the electric violin
On Desolation Row

Dr. Filth, he keeps his world
Inside of a leather cup
But all his sexless patients
They're trying to blow it up
Now his nurse, some local loser
She's in charge of the cyanide hole
And she also keeps the cards that read
"Have Mercy on His Soul"
They all play on penny whistles
You can hear them blow
If you lean your head out far enough
From Desolation Row

Across the street they've nailed the curtains
They're getting ready for the feast
The Phantom of the Opera
A perfect image of a priest
They're spoonfeeding Casanova
To get him to feel more assured
Then they'll kill him with self-confidence
After poisoning him with words

And the Phantom's shouting to skinny girls
"Get Outa Here If You Don't Know
Casanova is just being punished for going
To Desolation Row"

Now at midnight all the agents
And the superhuman crew
Come out and round up everyone
That knows more than they do
Then they bring them to the factory
Where the heart-attack machine
Is strapped across their shoulders
And then the kerosene
Is brought down from the castles
By insurance men who go
Check to see that nobody is escaping
To Desolation Row

Praise be to Nero's Neptune
The Titanic sails at dawn
And everybody's shouting
"Which Side Are You On?"
And Ezra Pound and T. S. Eliot
Fighting in the captain's tower
While calypso singers laugh at them
And fishermen hold flowers
Between the windows of the sea
Where lovely mermaids flow
And nobody has to think too much
About Desolation Row

Yes, I received your letter yesterday
(About the time the door knob broke)
When you asked how I was doing
Was that some kind of joke?
All these people that you mention
Yes, I know them, they're quite lame
I had to rearrange their faces
And give them all another name
Right now I can't read too good
Don't send me no more letters no
Not unless you mail them
From Desolation Row

[henchmanUK]

She tried treid to do me so we did it in my apartment.
Bust it.

Pretend not to love it.

Good, but not as good as:

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun

[Feva]

now suzy screw had a partna named sasha....saha thumper...i remember her number like the summer....when her and suzy yeah they threw a slumber....party

but you can not call it that cause it was slummer...well it was more like spend the night...three in the morning yawnin dancin under street lights...we chillin like a villain and a brother feelin right...in the middle of the ghetto on the curb...but in spite all of the bullshtein we on our back starin at the stars above...talkin bout what we gonna be when we grow up....

i said what you wanna be...she said...'alive'

hmmm it made me think for a minute...then i looked in her eyes...i coulda died...time went on...i got grown...rhyme got strong....mind got blown...i came back home...to find lil sasha was gone

her mamma said she with a brother that be treatin her wrong...i kept on singin my song and hopein at a show...that i would one day see her standin in the front row

but two weeks later she got found in the back of a school...with a needle in her arm and a baby two months due....sasha thumper.....

Never thought I'd get beat to the OutKast lyrics... 
OutKast - "Babylon"

I came into this world high as a bird
From second hand cocaine powder
i know it sounds absurd
I never tooted but its in my veins
While the rest of the country bungies off bridges
Without no snap back
and bitches they say they need that
To shake they fannies in the ass clubs
they go the other route
turn each other out
burn each other out
where a bonified stillupfront's mom like me
can't even get no back rub these days
ain't that bleak on they part?
but let me hold it down
cause they shut you down
when you speak from your heart
now that's hard
while we rantin and ravin bout gats
stillupfront's mom they made them gats
they got some shtein that'll blow out our backs
from where they stay at

Ooooh, I fear the battle's just begun
Ooooh, though we're here someday we will be gone
so i'm hopin, wishin, prayin
to keep my faith in you, in you

I'm fascinated by the way yo
nipples peak at me through yo blouse
freaky me, freaky you
can't help but be aroused
'scuse me lord lustful thinkin
but that's the way we was brought up
sneakin to watch playboy at night
we all must be caught up in worldly ways
Chemistry between boys and girls
is alot like when we went to the woods
and laid with the squirrels
durin P.E., we'd be
exploring each others privates
hunchin with all our clothes on
until we felt excited then, aaaah
oh now its on from here on out
put yo hands in the atmosphere
if you know what i'm talkin bout
now if two hearts done walk on out
and i see you on the next song
they call it horny
Because its devilish
now see we dead wrong

People don't know the stress i'm dealing with day to day
Speakin about the feeling i'm possessing for Rene
Mopin around and wondering where she stay
saw her last that she lay
give it another day i say
but the lord he taketh away
now give it back lawd
cause that's like backboards without the rims
me and my auntie was tight like southwest
before the pinks moved in
like the stillupfront's moms that owned the ligour store
crack cocaine, pimps and whores
livin up on this earth
before a stillupfront's mom like daddy was born
but they makin a scene
that my music and crime are a team
but i'm speakin the truth not dreams
so what in the farg they mean
my lyrics ain't clean

[rjs246]

There are many Outkast lyrics that I would put up there. I won't bother quoting whole songs or verses but two of my favorite one-liners are:

Like a million elephants, a silver back orangutan, you can't stop the train. Who wants some don't come unprepared I'll be there, but when I leave there, better be a household name.

Many a day has passed, the night has gone by, but still I find the time to put that bump up in yo eye.

Zero meaning, but just hearing those lines gets me pumped for those songs.

[Feva]

She tried to do me so we did it in my apartment.
Bust it.

Pretend not to love it.

That wasn't the thing, it musta been the way she hit the ceiling
Cuz after that she kept on comin' back and catchin' feelings.
"I said 'Let's go, my girl is coming so you gotta leave...'
She said 'Oh no, I love you Treatch'!
I said "Now child PLEASE'!"

[Wingspan]

Mr. Popeil Lyrics


I need a Vegematic!
I need a Pocket Fisherman!
I need a handy appliance
That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell!
(Operators are standing by.
How does that make you feel?)
Help me.
Mr. Popeil!

I wanna shine some pennies!
I wanna mend some leather!
I wanna Krazy-Glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder!
(Please, no C.O.D.'s.
Don't miss out on this deal.)
Ah, help me.
Mr. Popeil!

Help me.
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!

(Wo-o, wo-o. Ohhhhhh.)
It slices. It dices.
Look at that tomato!
You could even cut a tin can with it,
But you wouldn't want to!

Mr. Popeil, I'm in trouble.
Need your assistance on the double.
Oh no! Now how am I gonna make
My old vinyl car top look like new?
Mr. Popeil!
Tell me, what am I s'posed to do?

Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!

(Now how much would you pay?)
But wait, there's more!
It's not sold in any store!
(Now how much would you pay?)
Don't answer yet,
Just look what else you get!
(Now how much would you pay?)
If you order today,
You get a Ginsu knife and a smokeless ashtray!
(Now how much would you pay?)
Now how much would you pay?
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil.

Make me buy a Garden Weasel!
Make me buy a Bamboo Steamer!
Make me take advantage
Of this amazing TV offer!
(Call our toll-free number,
We'll make you such a deal.)
Aw, help me!
Mr. Popeil. I want it!
(Mr. Popeil.) Well, I need it!
(Mr. Popeil.) I got to got to got to have it!
Mr. Popeil!
Mr. Popeil!
Hey!

[Mad-Lad]

A little goon
in a locker room
rat-tails the octaroon
He'll be drinking vodka soon
and his big brothers are frat guys
whose IQs lose to their fitted baseball hat size
Smirkin' jocks with hackysacks
in Birkenstocks and khaki slacks
I'm the hypest lyricist
while they're like, "What type of beer is this?"
The liquid is ubiquitous
and has such a hold
on all the strata, it's just got to be
government-controlled
Behind the bottle and the throne
sits an unknown man wiser
and bigger for the liquor store
the number one franchiser
Perhaps George Bush and his sons
are relatives of Anheiser

I wanted to get in a pooper hole one day
so I invited girls over on Super Bowl Sunday
only one showed up: Princess Superstar

[PS]
Thanks for inviting me over
let me look around the bed post
(bad dill folds?) back to back black dildos
nice kit kudos
pass the cool ranch doritos
I love nachos
put on Fat Joe
naw, that really sucks, let's put on the Beatles
Yo, let's check the half time show
I hope it's Michael Jackson
singin Satisfaction with Hanson
or Luther Vandross in a sparkling costume
with big pants dancin
or maybe I saw that in a Bud Light commercial
speakin' of which, give this bitch
a drink quick to wet my lips
you got enough cheddar lyin' around this place to
fix
up my tits
as if I need it...

[MCPB]
Conchetta please!
If you see any chedda'
it's chedda cheese
I'm easily great
I don't need to be in some sort of Ken Kesey state
to create something you can appreciate

[PS] Who are you talkin to?
[MCPB] Makin you draw conclusions
and superficial distinctions make you go sacreu bleu

[PS]
I can speak French too
suck my nuh-nuh
french my funhole
comprande voux?
Look Pepe Le Pieux
let's cut to the (de nu-mon?)
you wanna farg me, I wanna farg you
so it's on.

[MCPB]
Can I chime in?
I'll still be rhymin'
when I'm in your hymen
I radiate like it was '88
and I'm searching for my lady mate
I'm a hunter-gatherer
a funholeer-latherer
My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice
granny's panties moist

I do the new when the tried and true fails
plus I'm lookin' fly in my sky blue tails
Now peel off your tube top
so I can feel your boobs flop on my lubed cock
socks up to your calf like a chick from the (craff?)
I wanna put on a serated condom and saw you in half

[PS]
My knees are weak, I need knee-pads
you farg me blind, I can't see, dag!
run me a hot bath add the epsom salt
soak my lower half in your Mortal Kombat cocktail sauce
let me head south
put it in my mouth
cause I like the taste.

[MCPB]
When I burst in your face
I'll invade your personal space

[PS]
I'm like Chase, stick your card in and out
Thanks see, look how much stacks of cream are coming out
[MCPB]
I removed her sanitary napkin with my teeth
and there was a planetary backspin underneath
I faced her wound
Let's do a pap smear with a taster spoon
you can sleep on the guest cot
I'll sleep in the wet spot

(Singing)
I'll be your boyfriend
Smooch on your pooper hole
all through the Super Bowl
your man doesn't even miss you
glued to the boob tube, watchya gonna do dude?
I woke up sticky
and quickly applied a temporary tattoo to a hickey
went to salt and shake her awake
with orange juice, a straw, and coffee cake
after we had a bite,
we pushed the canoe in the lake

[PS] You don't paddle right
[MCPB] Look, a shooting star!
[PS] It's a fargin satellite
[MCPB] Lady, one more complaint
and I'll shove a rape-whistle up the Mrs. Va-J-J
(starts whistling)

[PS]
What'd you say?!?!
Listen Slim Shay-day
tell Dre he better fargin pay may (me)
(starts laughing)

[MCPB]
Your talents are bite-size
it's no suprise you rhyme with white guys
I jumped in the water
what did I want a girlfriend for?
Just like you, you jizz on your floor.
I don't want sweet potatoes anymore
I didn't even leave her an oar
did a medium crawl stroke back to shore

Who's next to flirt with this exhausting extrovert?
I parted some (palm frawns?)
Guess who left me dry long johns
Uncle Ralph McDaniels
He said "what's up Paul Nathaniel Barman
let's get MTV off the air I deserve my own channel."

Rhyming Pooper Hole with Super Bowl is pretty impressive.   

[henchmanUK]

Rhyming Pooper Hole with Super Bowl is pretty impressive.   

Once is enough, though.

[mussa]

Black Sheep - U Mean I'm Not

This is one of the best rap songs ever.  You all have to download this song.  fargin hilarious.

Yo motherfarger

What the farg you lookin' at

Yo, get out my motherfargin' face right now

Yo man, trip this

I was out on the ave man

This dude wouldn't let me roll

So I pulled out my mother fargin' nine

And I SMOKED HIS ASS

Woke up, didn't choke up

Saw my AK, it was broke up

Put it together like a jigsaw

Got my nine, and my Rambo knife off the floor

Went to the bathroom, and beat the rush

Yo, who the farg used my toothbrush

Went to my sister's room, yo bitch, wake up

You stupid ass, dirty ass, nasty ass slut

Shot her in the leg, shot her in the thigh

Kick her in the Hoyda and punched her in the eye

Slapped her in the head, stepped on the cord

Don't farg with my bitch, word is born

Went downstairs to eat wit my folks

Ma, you broke the fargin' egg yoke

Punch her in the chest, it got on her cheek

Then I did a sweep, knocked the bitch off her feet

Knee to the Hoyda, kick to the skull

AK y'all shot the bitch in the temple

Pop got mad 'cause mom got licked

I didn't give a farg so I shot him in the dick

Hungary as farg, said my grace

Pop kept screamin' so I shot him in the face

Ate my food, found my coat

Mailman came so I cut his mother fargin' throat

Waitin' for the mother fargin' school bus

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo Dres, yo Dres

Wake up man, wake up

What's wrong with you man

Yo, I had a mother fargin' dream, man

What the farg was the dream about Gee

I dreamed that I was hard

[PhillyPhanInDC]

The farging bad word filters makes all of these so much better.