2006 Point & Laugh at the taterskins thread

[SD_Eagle5]

A thread by tr1, who is the 3rd biggest homer there behind Art and Bubba, saying the Stallworth deal was a bad one

Nevermind the fact that Santana Moss and Donte Stallworth are pretty similar in the sense that both needed changes of scenery. Both are speed guys who have had issues with hamstrings and their hands were questioned.

6 catches 139 yards 1 TD

[Sgt PSN]

A thread by tr1, who is the 3rd biggest homer there behind Art and Bubba, saying the Stallworth deal was a bad one

Nevermind the fact that Santana Moss and Donte Stallworth are pretty similar in the sense that both needed changes of scenery. Both are speed guys who have had issues with hamstrings and their hands were questioned.

6 catches 139 yards 1 TD

Check out the last page in that thread. 

[SD_Eagle5]

Ha!

[SD_Eagle5]

Sniff...sniff...I smell upset...

Eagles fan:

Eagles by 14.

I don't see this game being close at any point. Eagles score on first posession and roll to a victory.

There's my one and only prediction. Luckily, you'll never hear me mention it again, win or lose.

Eagles fan:

Eagles win by at least 10. You have no chance. Seriously.

Skins fan:

Right.
The Eagles have shown that they can collapse in the second half better than any other team, and in their last outing gave up 200 on the ground to JAX in a game where everyone knew they would run the ball.

Oh, last time I checked the Eagles were a little soft against the screen.
Shocker. That's the skins favorite pass play.

Seriously, to say this will be a no brainer is the epitome of homerism.

If the Skins can establish a run like they did against JAX? and you think the Skins have no chance??

Oh that's right. I forgot. How can you block this line?     

BTW, where's Trotter lately? Nice one tackle in the Jax game.

Yeah, no way I bet on this game. Because I have no idea what Skins team will show up OR what Eagles team will show up. Talking smack when your team looks like crap is damn funny WB keep it up.

[phattymatty]

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

[PhillyGirl]

ha!

[TRUCK RATHMAN]

I was watching the Niner game at a sports bar yesterday. One little screen off to the side had the skins game. Right under it was a solo Skins fan in his BLloyd jersey not looking very happy.

I stood up and yelled "hey look! its a skins fan!EVERYBODY POINT AND LAUGH!!



I was expecting the usual suspects to do so but to my suprise, almost everyone did it followed by a roar of laughter, even the 2 cheeseheads in the corner got into the fun. 

[phattymatty]

Monday, November 13, 2006

With Portis out at least a month, taterskins sign Curtis Martin, Jim Brown, Michael Jordan

After receiving the news that running back Clinton Portis will miss at least one month and possibly the entire season after breaking a bone in his hand during Sunday's lopsided loss at Philadelphia, Washington taterskins owner Daniel Snyder moved quickly. This morning, the taterskins signed Jets rusher Curtis Martin, football icon Jim Brown, and former Chicago Bulls great Michael Jordan to long-term contracts.



(l-r) Snyder, Cerrato, and taterskins
coach Joe Gibbs announce their big, big news.

Contract specifics were not immediately known, but team sources indicated the taterskins parted with up to 10 future first-round draft picks, and will make the trio the highest-paid backfield in league history. The group joins Ladell Betts, Rock Cartwright, Mike Sellers, and T.J. Duckett on the team's already deep running back core.

In a rare news conference, Snyder called the signings "a milestone for taterskins fans."

"We have one goal here," Snyder said. "Well, two goals actually. First, we want to win a Super Bowl. And secondly, we want to make money. Lots and lots of money. These three legendary players are sure to accomplish both in short order."

Brown, 70, has not played a down of competitive football since his retirement in 1966.

"Jim Brown is an absolute giant in his sport," Snyder said. "I asked [Owner lackey] Vinny [Cerrato] if Jim was available. Vinny said he was, and to me, it was a no-brainer. I told Vinny, 'let's do what it takes to go out and get him in a taterskins uniform.'"

When asked if the decision to sign Martin, who will miss the season and could retire due to chronic knee injuries, was somewhat short-sighted, Snyder grew testy.

"Let me turn the tables for just a moment, and ask you a question," Snyder said. "How much money do you make?"

When the reporter responded that he did not see how that was relevant, Snyder persisted.

"Seriously. How much? I know you people don't make that much. I'll be generous and say $50,000 a year. Well, the taterskins -- which I own -- are worth more than $1 billion. That is my worth. See this fingernail? I'm going to bite it off. One second. Okay, see it on the floor now? That's a $50,000 fingernail, easy. So basically, that's you. I literally just chewed you up and spit you out. So maybe we should think twice before we decide to wear the Daddy Pants, okay?

"Sure, all my pants are in boys sizes, but they're big metaphorically, dick."

It is unclear how Jordan, a former basketball player, fits into the taterskins' plans.



taterskins owner Daniel Snyder knows Michael Jordan from the TV.

"He's one of the best to ever play the game," Snyder said with an incredulous chortle. "I'm sure we'll find a way to work him in. Look, I don't know what kind of rock you all have been living under, but hello? Michael Jordan? Ever heard of him? Is he or is he not a famous athlete that everyone has seen on TV a million times?"

"Yes," muttered some of the reporters.

"I can't hear you!" said Snyder.

"Yes!"

"Thank you. Next question please. Jesus, you guys are nuts!"

The loss of Portis could affect the team's usual season plan, in which they go on a too-little, too-late winning streak after being virtually eliminated from the playoffs so that they can continue to string fans along and charge league-high prices.

"We're going to turn this team around," Snyder said. "Because if we don't, how do we justify $8,000 season tickets, $12 hot dogs, and $19 beers? Answer: we can't. I think the signings we've made today mark a new era in taterskins football. I wanted to put my stamp on this franchise, and think I have accomplished that."

[Sgt PSN]

When asked if the decision to sign Martin, who will miss the season and could retire due to chronic knee injuries, was somewhat short-sighted, Snyder grew testy.

"Let me turn the tables for just a moment, and ask you a question," Snyder said. "How much money do you make?"

[shorebird]

Philadelphia jumped to a 17-0 lead, keyed by a beautiful 84-yard touchdown pass from quarterback Donovan McNabb to Dante' Stallworth. The ball traveled aloft some 50 yards in a tight spiral and landed right into the hands of the lanky wideout.

Thats what I'm talking about!

Then, after a David Akers 25-yard field goal,Brunell, whose career is so done that he should be twisting over an open fire with an apple in his mouth, tossed yet another pick, this one landing in the mitts of defensive back Sheldon Brown, who returned it 70 yards for a touchdown. It was 27-3. Game over. Washington season over.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

taterskins owner Daniel Snyder knows Michael Jordan from the TV.

That line, for some reason, gave me the biggest laugh.

[Sgt PSN]

It's because they called it "the" tv. 

[MDS]

It's ok to be depressed and wonder what's happening and one shouldn't be surprised if things look better as the season winds down. The surprise is how off everything has been to THIS point.

Yup, things are definatley looking up. No sign of the crappy Jason Campbell playing. No Cliton Portis. A 78 year older strong safety. 8,000 different coaches. The last 7 games should be nice.

[Feva]