2006 Point & Laugh at the taterskins thread

[phattymatty]

i would rather get blown out like the skins yesterday than lose a tough one like we did yesterday.


just kidding, man those duchebags suck!  hahaha!

[SD_Eagle5]

2-5 and their schedule doesn't get any easier:

  bye   
Sun 11/5  Dallas  1:00 pm
Sun 11/12  at Philadelphia  1:00 pm
Sun 11/19  at Tampa Bay  1:00 pm
Sun 11/26  Carolina  1:00 pm
Sun 12/3  Atlanta  1:00 pm
Sun 12/10  Philadelphia  1:00 pm
Sun 12/17  at New Orleans  1:00 pm
Sun 12/24  at St. Louis  1:00 pm
Sat 12/30  NY Giants  8:00 pm

I see two games on that schedule in which they should be able grab victory from the jaws of defeat.

One of those games I'll be at, the other is on my birthday, so its practically a guarantee.

[MDS]

They'll beat the Eagles twice, that's it.

[QB Eagles]

Remember this day. In ten years when we are holding the Lombardy trophy we will be glad we're taterskins fans.

What's the "Lombardy trophy"? Is that some kind of award for the worst team?

[PhillyPhreak54]

Portis has a high ankle sprain.
Moss has a left hamstring strain.
Brunell has a muscle train in his rib cage.

[Susquehanna Birder]

Are there any pictures "out there" of the hit Portis took in his manhood?

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Brunell has a muscle train in his rib cage.

Choo choo?

[PhillyPhreak54]

  Whoops.

Whats funny is the injury bug is hitting that team a year after it hit the Eagles and the Skins fans refused to say the Birds stunk last year because of injuries.

Sports hernia?! McNabb's a vadge, they'd say. Until Golden Boy Shawn Springs had the same thing.
Hamstrings? That Donte Stallworth is injury prone, they scream. Until Santana Moss, who has had hammy problems in the past in NY, gets hurt.

[PhillyPhreak54]

Are there any pictures "out there" of the hit Portis took in his manhood?

I dunno - but he took a solid shot. I cringed when I saw it happen live. Helmet to the sack is not a good thing.

[MDS]

It's not like he uses them for anything else besides doing dudes in the butt.

[PhillyPhreak54]

I wonder if he dresses up for that too?

[PhillyPhreak54]

Steve Czaban's rant...

It seems like for every failed taterskins coach under Dan Snyder, there's a single "moment" or phrase, or well.... THING... that stands out as a uniquely embarrassing moment that symbolizes the failure of that particular coach.

For Norv Turner, it was his decision to send out creaky Eddie Murray to attempt a 50 yard field goal to win the Giants game, when Murray himself said his range ended at 45. The kick failed, and Norv was fired that night.

For Terry Robiskie, it was saying he wouldn't move his desk unless Snyder gave him permission.

For Marty Schottenheimer, it was the fact he had exactly ONE audible for the entire year. I remember taterskins players lamenting after losses that other teams had figured out their audible – singular.

For Steve Spurrier there was a whole bucket of eye-poppingly stupid moments to choose from. But I'll take "Osaka!" as his poster child of ineptitude. He kept clinging to an exhibition game played half way around the world in August, as some kind of proof that his "system" worked at the pro level.

Now, we have Gibbs. And he has his moment of utterly pathetic embarrassment.

It came during his rambling presser following the Colts loss. But first, let's bullet point the nature of this defeat for context.

His team had just committed 35 yards worth of completely needless penalties (excessive celebration, off-sides on a kickoff, and taking your helmet off to argue with the refs) that had them kicking off at their OWN FIVE YARD LINE!

His team had just been carved up like swiss cheese on defense in the second half. The drives by the Colts were so breathtakingly easy, you would be hard pressed to find another three-drive sequence in the NFL this year, that looked this efficient.

Drive #1: 4 plays, 3 first downs, 55 yards, touchdown. Time: 2:01.
Drive #2: 4 plays, 3 first down, 81 yards, touchdown. Time: 2:02.
Drive #3: 7 plays, 4 first downs, 66 yards, touchdown. Time: 3:11.

All told, that's a touchdown every 5 plays!
Average gain per play, 13.4 yards.
Only 2 of those 15 plays did NOT result in a first down, or touchdown.
Total time elapsed: 7:14 seconds.

Applying that pace to an even 30 minutes of TOP during a game, it's an 84-point pace!

The taterskins gave up 36 points to a team without committing a single turnover of their own. The taterskins did not STOP the Colts once in the second half, unless you count taking a knee, as a "stop".

Joe Gibbs had just watched his team argue with each other on the sidelines, although he later denied seeing Ernest Byner have to physically restrain Brandon Lloyd from confronting Antwaan Randle El.

Joe Gibbs had just sent in his favored son QB Mark Brunell for a meaningless mop-up drive, only to have Dick Stockton and Troy Aikman – hardly guys known for ripping coaches – to openly wonder: "what the hell is this?"

Joe Gibbs had just floundered through every empty cliché he's always used instead of actually confronting real questions, or accepting real responsibility. Go ahead, kids, say them with me...

"Super smart guys."
"Fought our guts out."
"Best fans in the world."
"Figure this thing out together."
"We've got character guys."
"We've got guys with fight"

And then, the most absurd thing I think I've ever heard from a $7 million a year head football coach in the National Football League (excessive elongation of title and league names used on purpose for emphasis).

Gibbs said he was very sorry for not stopping the team buses as they rolled out to the airport from taterskin Park on Friday, because he failed to notice a group of fans who wanted to send the team off.

If that kind of ridiculous pandering wasn't enough, Gibbs then promised those fans (and who knows if they were actually real fans there, or just another Gibbs fabrication, or hallucination) "something special" if they came back to do it again after the bye week.

I kid you not.

My coach, actually said this.

On the podium, AFTER a loss like the one I described above.

Like kissing babies and doing whistle-stop meet and greets is most important to taterskins fans right now. It's not. Real fans could give two shteins if the buses RAN OVER those fans without slowing down. Real fans want to know one thing: Is my coach in control, and does he have a plan to make things better?

The answer now, is a resounding, unmistakable NO and NO.

Joe Gibbs 2.0 is over, folks. It just hasn't been made official yet.

There might be a Joe Gibbs 3.0 for years 4 and 5 of his massive, NFL record breaking contract.

It might be a software upgrade that re-institutes an emphasis on drafting and player development, and a repudiation of player purchasing.

It might be a software update that removes some of the coaching clutter on this staff.

It might be a software update that stops playing favorites with the QB, and embraces the notion of a "rebuilding" or "transition" year.

Or not.

We won't know, until we see the release. I have a bad, bad, bad feeling that we're only going to get Gibbs 2.1. A mere incremental change in philosophy, not an overhaul.

Or, he'll just walk away, and leave the dripping, leaky bag of a football team to somebody else. I'm going to assume he gets to keep the FedEx Denny Hamlin #11 car as a consolation prize.

For all the faithful, I can only offer this one saying: "It is what it is, they are what they are, serenity now."

Ha!

Those fans he's talking about are from, you guessed it, ExtremeSkins.com. So of course they're all pissy because Czaban, who they hate because he rips the team, is ripping Gibbs for talking about the fans. One guy who named his dog Gibbs went back out there to welcome them home last night.

[Seabiscuit36]

    Czabe always has the normal view of Skins fans

[Sgt PSN]

The taterskins gave up 36 points to a team without committing a single turnover of their own. The taterskins did not STOP the Colts once in the second half, unless you count taking a knee, as a "stop".

Ha!

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

At least the skins won't lose this weekend.