2006 Point & Laugh at the taterskins thread

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

and the eagles will never win a superbowl

How old were you when the taterskins won their most recent one?  Couldn't be any older than 3 or 4.

[PhillyPhanInDC]

USA Today's Inside Slant:

Scratch the speculation, prompted by Sports Illustrated, that gifted but grumpy Terrell Owens will be a taterskin in 2006. The taterskins strongly denied that they're pursuing the receiver, whom the Philadelphia Eagles are looking to shop after suspending him for most of 2005.

"We have great respect for T.O.'s ability, but he doesn't fit in with us," said taterskins vice president of football operations Vinny Cerrato. "We're not interested in acquiring him."

Owens, 32, was chosen for five straight Pro Bowls before becoming a soap opera-like figure in Philadelphia last season. He had previously alienated the organizations in San Francisco, where he played his first eight seasons, and Baltimore, where the 49ers tried to trade him in 2004 before he nixed the deal and demanded to be sent to the Eagles.

taterskins coach Joe Gibbs is a stickler for the team concept, as he showed by trading unhappy leading receiver Laveranues Coles last March. It would also be difficult for Washington, which is way over the projected $95 million salary cap, to meet Owens' expected contract demands. And if Owens disliked playing with Eagles standout quarterback Donovan McNabb, it's hard to see him wanting to team with aging taterskins passer Mark Brunell or untested youngster Jason Campbell.

Denver, Miami, Dallas and Kansas City reportedly remain in the "Where's T.O. Going?" discussion, though agent Drew Rosenhaus declined comment. The taterskins will try to find a receiver to pair with Pro Bowl starter Santana Moss in a less dramatic fashion.

Last year's No. 2 receiver, David Patten, averaged just 9.9 yards on 22 catches with no touchdowns in nine games before having season-ending arthroscopic knee surgery. Patten's replacements over the final nine games (including playoffs) - Taylor Jacobs, James Thrash and Jimmy Farris - caught just 15 passes for 150 yards and no touchdowns. In fact, Moss was the only taterskins wideout to reach the end zone all season.

Patten will be 32 in August, but it's difficult to see the cap-strapped taterskins - who also don't have a first-round draft pick - being able to afford a top-shelf replacement.


—The taterskins have been the antithesis of stability during Dan Snyder's ownership, which began in July 1999.

Washington has had five coaches, six defensive coordinators and seven starting quarterbacks (not counting injury-mandated changes).

Even the three longest-tenured taterskins have had crises. Right tackle Jon Jansen missed all of 2004 with a torn Achilles' tendon. Weakside linebacker LaVar Arrington was sidelined for most of 2004 with a balky knee and was an afterthought for the first half of 2005. And left tackle Chris Samuels struggled through a horrible year in 2003 before bouncing back the last two seasons.

However, through the last four years of that chaos, one thing has remained constant. The taterskins have always known that they could count on Ethan Albright. Nicknamed "The Red Snapper" for his flaming red hair, the North Carolina product has been as reliable as any long snapper in the league.

Whether he has worked for the relatively mellow Mike Stock or the crazed Danny Smith - Washington's last two special teams coaches - Albright has been a model of excellence. He quietly did his job every day, in practice and in games.

Like officials, snappers only get noticed when they make mistakes - as did Albright's predecessor once removed, the late Dan Turk, in Washington's 1999 playoff loss at Tampa Bay. So it's a positive for Albright that he only gets attention when his helmet comes off and his hair sticks out like a red flag to a bull.

Albright has thrived despite working in just four seasons with seven kickers (Brett Conway, Jose Cortez, James Tuthill, John Hall, Ola Kimrin, Jeff Chandler and Nick Novak), seven punters (Bryan Barker, Conway, Tuthill, Craig Jarrett, Tom Tupa, Andy Groom and Derrick Frost) and several holders.

Albright arrived as a free agent from Buffalo on March 9, 2001.

NOTES, QUOTES

The taterskins' biggest challenge this off-season will be trying to get under the salary cap and stay there. Washington was roughly $20 million over the expected $95 million cap in January.

The good news is that only two starters, strong safety Ryan Clark and tight end Robert Royal, are unrestricted free agents, and neither is irreplaceable. The bad news is that the taterskins could use new blood in many places and won't be able to afford to do much beyond signing minimum-salary types, especially if there's no June 1 rule this spring, as expected.

TEAM NEEDS/OFF-SEASON STRATEGY

1. No. 2 WR: The taterskins clearly need more production opposite Santana Moss, who had a tremendous first season in Washington. Taylor Jacobs, a second-rounder in 2003, has been a bust. David Patten and James Thrash are on the downside. Jimmy Farris is just a body. It's extremely difficult to see the taterskins being able to afford such free agents as Reggie Wayne, Antwaan Randle-El, David Givens or Joe Jurevicius, so Washington will likely hope that it can find a legitimate starter in the second or third round of the draft.

2. WLB: If assistant head coach Gregg Williams decides that he can't put up with another year of conflict and distraction because he and the flamboyant Arrington are like oil and water, the taterskins will need to find a weakside starter. Veteran Warrick Holdman had just 38 tackles last year despite starting seven games. He's a singles hitter, at best, not a playmaker. Youngster Chris Clemons can pressure the quarterback but has yet to show that he can handle the run-stopping and pass coverage aspects of the job. Since it will cost almost as much to cut Arrington as to keep him, the latter is the smart move, but personalities may dictate otherwise.

3. OL: When right guard Randy Thomas went down for the season in December, the taterskins had to insert 43-year-old Ray Brown in his place. And when Brown was briefly sidelined in the playoff loss at Seattle, veteran center Cory Raymer was suddenly a guard for the first time in his 11-year career. That's how little faith the taterskins have in backup guard/tackle Jim Molinaro, a fifth-round pick in 2004. With Brown retired and Raymer near the end, Washington needs a serious infusion of depth along the entire offensive front.

[PhillyPhanInDC]

Cont.

STRATEGY AND PERSONNEL

FRANCHISE PLAYER: None

TRANSITION PLAYER: None

UNRESTRICTED FREE AGENTS

—LB Khary Campbell is a dynamic special teams performer. He led the taterskins with 34 tackles on teams. He has seen little action on defense but could play all three LB spots in a pinch. He should be re-signed.

—RB Rock Cartwright is another presence on special teams (22 tackles) who can also return kickoffs. Despite his mighty-mite size, Cartwright had a 100-yard game at St. Louis and averaged 7.4 yards on his 27 carries. However, with Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts ahead of him and 2005 rookie Nehemiah Broughton ready to replace him, there's no future for the popular Cartwright in Washington. He should move on.

—SS Ryan Clark has been a serious surprise since signing on the eve of training camp in 2004. Clark had 91 tackles while starting the final 11 games of 2005 in place of the injured Matt Bowen. Clark had 72 tackles last year despite missing four games with injuries. Clark is a heady, run-stopper who has the athleticism to get to the quarterback. Clark has lapses in coverage, but he's a steadying force for young free safety Sean Taylor. The taterskins have a competent alternative to Clark in Pierson Prioleau, but Taylor and Marcus Washington are better if Clark is on the field. It will be interesting to see if Washington can afford to re-sign Clark.

—DL Demetric Evans played well in starting nine games for injured RDE Phillip Daniels in 2004 and three games for injured LDT Cornelius Griffin in 2005. Evans had three sacks last season and added another in the playoffs while playing for injured LDE Renaldo Wynn. With DT Brandon Noble's career derailed by injuries, Evans is Washington's top DL reserve. However, he wants a chance to start and will likely depart via free agency.

—WLB Warrick Holdman seemed to be a rising star in 2001 with Chicago. However, Holdman wasn't the same for the Bears after suffering a season-ending knee injury four games into 2002. He seemed to have bounced back with 110 tackles for Cleveland in 2004 but wasn't re-signed after a coaching change. Holdman moved on to Washington but was more a stopgap than a legitimate starter while LaVar Arrington mended his knee and his ways. The taterskins could get by with a Holdman-Chris Clemons duo at WLB, but that's all Holdman does now is get by.

—DT Cedric Killings beat out Ryan Boschetti to be the top backup to RDT Joe Salave'a once Noble was hurt. Killings battled injuries of his own, too, but was an acceptable reserve run-stopper. The journeyman should return to the taterskins, especially with Noble history.

—TE Brian Kozlowski was re-signed last summer for his veteran smarts and because he's pals with QB Mark Brunell. Kozlowski caught just two passes in limited duty and at 35 should no longer take up a roster spot.

—TE Robert Royal had a horrible game in the seemingly critical loss to San Diego on Nov. 27, dropping four passes, but he recovered to record career-highs of four catches and 40 yards the next week at St. Louis. Royal wound up with a career-high 18 catches for 131 yards. He's a solid blocker. The taterskins could start Mike Sellers if Royal departs and Robert Johnson is also an option, but they would also be fine with having Royal return.

—S Omar Stoutmire was signed when the taterskins had a rash of injuries at safety last August and he was solid in limited action. Stoutmire even had a sack in the playoff victory at Tampa Bay. However, he'll be 32 in July and his return probably depends on whether Ryan Clark re-signs since Matt Bowen is expected to be cut.

RESTRICTED FREE AGENTS:

—WLB Chris Clemons was a revelation with three sacks as a pass-rush specialist in 2004 when Lavar Arrington was hurt. Clemons, who spent his rookie year of 2003 on injured reserve with a bad hip, had two sacks in part-time duty last year. If he can show that he can handle all aspects of the job, Clemons could start in 2006. Since he wasn't drafted, he'll be cheap to re-sign.

—LG Derrick Dockery moved into the lineup in the fourth game of his rookie year, 2003, and has been there ever since. Dockery is still more potential than production and commits too many holding penalties, but he'll be re-signed for the third-round tender. The taterskins, who are thin on the line, hope that this is the year that Dockery finally matures.

—CB Ade Jimoh was human torch on defense during his first two seasons and only made the team because of his speed and tackling ability on special teams. However, Jimoh played well as the fourth corner last year, making a huge tackle at Arizona, and with third corner Walt Harris aging fast, Jimoh could be re-signed cheap since he wasn't drafted.

—DL Melvin Williams, formerly with New Orleans and San Francisco, spent all of 2005 on injured reserve. It would be surprising if he returns.

MEDICAL WATCH:

RT Jon Jansen had his right thumb repaired in January and will be ready for the start of workouts next month as will WR David Patten (knee, arthroscopic surgery in November), WR James Thrash (thumb repaired in January), WLB Chris Clemons (knee, arthroscopic surgery in December), LDT Cornelius Griffin (knee), RB Manuel White (fractured fibula in August). Less certain are C Casey Rabach, C Cory Raymer and MLB Lemar Marshall, all of whom were to have shoulders scoped. LT Chris Samuels was due to have his right knee scoped in late February and will probably get a late start. RG Randy Thomas (fractured fibula in December) and LDE Renaldo Wynn (broken right forearm in January) will likely not be ready either. DT Brandon Noble's career is all but over after he suffered staph infections in the wake of both of his knee scopes in 2005.

I like Cartwright, he could be a decent change of pace back, and is a good special teamer. He'd come on the cheap, and the same for Demetric Evans, just to add depth. Looks like the Skins are going to go back to their losing ways this season. Can't wait to see who they missed in the first round when the Broncos use the pick gifted them by the Skins. Pointing.....and......laughing.

[mooby]

like i told the broncos fans who thought they were getting something special with our 22nd overall pick, i'm sure they are much happier with the 22nd pick rather than some top five pick, right? as for cartwright, we're probably gonna keep him, we know how valuable he is, and he's not a bad replacement if betts or portis got hurt. everyone thought last season was gonna suck for the skins, everyone thought moss wasn't a true #1 receiver, and our qb position was zesty, etc.

[Tomahawk]

Brunnell had an anomaly of a year. A repeat performance shouldn't be expected.

[Sgt PSN]

like i told the broncos fans who thought they were getting something special with our 22nd overall pick, i'm sure they are much happier with the 22nd pick rather than some top five pick, right?

  I'm sure they are much happier with the 22nd pick than the Skins are without any first round picks.  Again.

An extra first round pick is an extra first round pick, regardless of where it falls.  They can easily package the extra pick to improve their position in the first round.   I don't even know why I'm explaining this as I'm sure the concept of IMPROVING your draft position is foreign to Skins fans.  I might as well be talking Greek here. 

everyone thought last season was gonna suck for the skins, everyone thought moss wasn't a true #1 receiver, and our qb position was zesty, etc.

For the first time in 7 years, everyone was wrong and Skins fans were right.  Congrats on that. 

[PhillyPhanInDC]

like i told the broncos fans who thought they were getting something special with our 22nd overall pick, i'm sure they are much happier with the 22nd pick rather than some top five pick, right? as for cartwright, we're probably gonna keep him, we know how valuable he is, and he's not a bad replacement if betts or portis got hurt. everyone thought last season was gonna suck for the skins, everyone thought moss wasn't a true #1 receiver, and our qb position was zesty, etc.

First: The Broncos did get something special with your first round pick.....YOUR ONLY FIRST ROUND PICK..... the taterskins got a projected mid-late round QB.

Second: How do you expect to keep Cartwright? Give him monopoly money?

Third: Your QB position did turn out to be zesty. Brunell got of to a decent start, and played well, but his old ass tired out when you needed him. He is only getting older, Ramsey's chances were destroyed by Snyder's coaching shuffles and is gone soon, and Jason Campbell is an unproven rookie wiht zero playing time. If you expect to get the same production out of Brunnel again this year, you've been suckling too much on Gibbs sack.

[MDS]

everyone needs to relax. the off-season just started and already "OUR CAP IS F'ED!!" "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO??" "WE'RE SCREWED!" "WE'LL NEVER WIN ANOTHER SUPER BOWL BECAUSE OF THIS CAP PROBLEM!"

look, our cap isn't in a great situation like some teams, but we've been on the right track since 2 years ago. it's a little messed up since we had no regard for the cap since gibbs, but it's been different. all it takes is a couple key moves off and on our roster. just leave it up to our professionals who's been doing a great job since the gibb's organization stepped in. RELAX! we'll be fine, and we'll be great for years and years to come.

If you don't like the prices, don't buy them. Very simple

I have the cheapest seats in the house Sec 412, I don't mind if they go up a little.

[PhillyPhanInDC]

And the hits keep coming....


Gay



And Gay

[Sgt PSN]

That first one is farging priceless.  The 2nd one has inspired a new avatar. 

[LBIggle]

dude in first one is a vadge lip, he  didn't even break anything.. just pouted like a 4 yr old.   but i guess on the plus side he's not wearing his jersey backwards flashing wanna be gang signs that might get him shot in the taint.

[PhillyPhanInDC]

That first one is farging priceless.  The 2nd one has inspired a new avatar. 

Looks good. Ya douche. 

[Sgt PSN]

I've got teh f0t0ch0p skilz. 

[LBIggle]

quick hands ya have there.  realllllly ... quick hands. 

[Sgt PSN]

You have no idea.