2008 Point & Laugh at the skins thread

[PhillyPhreak54]

Browsing ES today and its funny how they all want to get in on the "NFC East is a beast" equation. Its like the fat kid in dodge ball screaming "oooh pick me".

They were left out of the talk on Sports Reporters and that caused many to say how the best 4 teams in the NFL are the NFC East teams and how no one knows nothing. One guy even said that that the Skins have beaten better teams than Dallas.

God, I can't root for Dallas. But I want to see a sloppy game with many penalties, dumb plays and turnovers.

[Seabiscuit36]

i just cant root for the skins, because the dick sucking that would happen would create a wave of cream that might put Philly under the water level

[Beermonkey]

i just cant root for the skins, because the dick sucking that would happen would create a wave of cream that might put Philly under the water level

This game is perplexing, it's like trying to choose between your kids being raped by 3 vs 4  guys. I have to hope for a Skins win, so that an Eagles victory next week will be more demoralizing.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

not enough injuries

[PhillyPhreak54]

i just cant root for the skins, because the dick sucking that would happen would create a wave of cream that might put Philly under the water level

This game is perplexing, it's like trying to choose between your kids being raped by 3 vs 4  guys. I have to hope for a Skins win, so that an Eagles victory next week will be more demoralizing.

BM!

How the hell ya been?

[shorebird]

Rooting for the taterskins to beat the Cowboys is like rooting for Obama to beat McCain. It will bring some piece of mind, but you can't really jump up and down and get excited about it.

[PhillyPhreak54]

Art's back...

Settling back in, slowly, to good, wholesome taterskins living. Title of this week's blog should take you to Something About Mary. That's all for now.

Murf and I getting setup.

11 a.m. Saturday - Packing up. Mom is taking a quick nap. Little girl is screaming bloody murder that mom is taking a quick nap. Dad puts little girl in bed. Big girl is very interested in this whole concept of me going somewhere to watch football, but doubly interested in the El Coque Dora we have on.

2:40 p.m. Saturday - Packed in to a small shuttle plane, this tiny little guy next to me starts crowding me. I wake him and tell him to learn how to get small. We have tension the rest of the trip. Don't screw with the Art's personal space. Homie don't play that.

4:20 p.m. Saturday - Pulling down into Dallas and I realize something I'd previously missed. The first visible sign from the air as you cruise in is a Hooter's sign. Something about this just seems right.

5 p.m. Saturday -- At baggage claim with bag. Call the Murf to tell him to buzz me when he lands so we can do the rental car thing. Read the ridiculous Footprints of God book, which is so outrageously ludicrous it's splendid time burning.

5:30 p.m. Saturday -- Murf is in the hizzy. Notice I can still pull off the use of hizzy as if hip. Meeting at Hertz where we discover the kind taterskins travel people have booked AND paid for a compact car. Apparently they forgot the memo that not only does Art not do compact but Art has cars with a dozen people in them hours later. We upgrade to the SUV and I make Murf put it on his card and swear to pay him back. Sucker. I offered to put it on my card if Murf would spoon me, which he too readily agreed to, but it was in his name.

5:55 p.m. Saturday -- Call from the taterskins.com TV boys wondering where we are. Last year's 90 year old gate guard is gone, replaced by a cabana boy who waves us in as we tell the boys we're getting close. Told I have to remember that we need to make a stop at the liquor store for a liter of vodka for post-game flights home. Sound plan.

6:05 p.m. Saturday -- Murf discovers how cool it is to come to games with me. When I'm here we get upgraded rooms. We don't actually have a room. We have a "villa" and we're offered a ride to it as it is a full minute away from the main complex. We are very important people. Team only has us down for one night so we extend for two and hugs abound as the crew catches us at check in. I am not sure how much longer I will do these trips, but, it is always a lot of fun. Room is quite nice. We even have a little veranda which would be put to use later.

7 p.m. Saturday -- Fresh dressed like a million bucks, Murf and I walk up from the villa to the main building. Low key at this point. Golston is sitting on a bench with some friends. Fred Smoot is rolling with about 20 family members near the main entrance. We hit the bar off the lobby. Hailtaterskins ***** is there with Mr. Clean, Gary, Larry and, of course, our new friend, the blogger. I quickly inform the blogger not to be intimidated by being in the room with two people (Murf and I) who both turned his job down. But, naturally, he was. We are pretty cool you know.

7:30 p.m. Saturday -- Find out from the blogger that someone is crushing him on the internet using my e-mail address. Says he had to ask around to make sure it wasn't actually me. Wasn't. I do the direct confrontation when I don't like someone. Like at my new favorite site about firing some lousy local beat reporter who after years on the job still doesn't know NFL rules without hand holding.

8:00 p.m. Saturday -- Acquainting with the crew. Talking quite a bit with the blogger, giving him my point of view. Most important thing to know about any of the stuff we've ever done was conveyed now to the blogger who was talking about how he's still learning what he can and can't write and I asked who's told him he can't write something. He said no one. And I said that's the secret. Write whatever you want.

8:15 p.m. Saturday -- Horrified to discover Irving is a "dry" county with no where to buy booze. We are somewhat concerned the Goose and Tonic, tonics, we'd had all night were somehow criminal acts, but decided against understanding Texas county laws due to that whole shoot first and ask questions later thing they have going on. Directed to a place just outside the county line to buy booze. Three 12s of Fat Tire beer, one liter of air plane vodka and one liter of booze for the veranda purchased, then we stack back in the car with the standard crew and the grumpy Mr. Broyhill, who is mentioned solely due to his hair and how close it is to Jim Zorn's and ties to the title of this blog.

8:30 p.m. Saturday -- Driving continually by the place we want to eat now with Murf navigating with the Garmin. We are unable to understand how the hell we can't get there when we discover Murf is not taking us there. He's taking us back because he thinks the airplane vodka needs to be delivered now. Notice I'm not telling you WHO gets this airplane vodka . Secrets of the road. Murf has navigating rights removed. We finally make it to the Keg. We have a choice of following a perfectly lovely brunette to the bar area or going to the main dining room and playing waitress roulette. We pick the dining room and get stoner boy and feel quite crushed. Talk of game leads to many different viewpoints. I think we'll get hammered. We've not held up well in loud stadiums where our line is getting jumped and we can't get a rhythm on offense. Blogger is decided in the Zorn camp and has a huge man crush on Zorn. And thus Mr. Broyhill due to the hair. I'm skipping much of the nightly commentary as it will forever be remembered and never repeated.

10 p.m. Saturday -- Back at the team hotel. We walk in to the nicest hotel in the state carrying a case and a half of fat tire beer and two brown paper sacks. Straight bamas we. Danny Smith is outside talking to people and seems amused by our caravan of booze. Rock is in the lobby and notices the Fat Tire...beer. Hailtaterskins *****, Gary, Murf and I work our way to the villa to drink. There's a very large wedding going on across from our villa in a large out building from the hotel. We are trying to encourage hailtaterskins ***** to offer the new bride her first legitimate pleasure as a married woman. Monetary enticements don't quite do the trick sadly. Mr. Clean calls from the bar to tell me I'm wanted. Duty calls.

10:45 p.m. Saturday -- At the hotel bar again. Kelly Johnson, who I've commented previously is stunning in person, is stunning in person. Several of the taterskins big wigs are at a table outside. I join, seating myself next to the blogger. Lots of good football talk. For those of you reading down to here, my earlier comments about getting crushed may no longer apply. Watch for us to change the pace offensively and, more importantly, Coach Zorn (who wasn't there of course) has been very excited about something this week. He sees something this week. Someone, he thinks, could have a VERY, VERY big game. I am talking around this on the remote chance anyone from Dallas sees this and believes it and it in any way alters anything. I'll talk more about this later, but, hearing what I heard will give me a real view of just how successful Zorn may become or not become as a coach. The talk was like the OLD Gibbs players talk of KNOWING they would win on Wednesday when the gameplan was going in because they could tell the staff had the other team figured out. This is not to say Zorn has the Cowboys figured out, but, he thinks something is. If he's right and it executes as planned, it'll be a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE positive for our future. If he's wrong, well, we'll see .

1:30 a.m. -- Coaxed into rousing rendition of Hail to the taterskins for table of execs, table of banking exec types and the Comcast table. Murf is with us now. Song sung with great passion, impressing the banking guys. One taterskins marketing/sales lady coaxed into coming down stares right at Murf and me and asks, "Who are you?" Drinks are purchased by many for many. This gets Kelly Johnson even to TRY the song. She does not do it well, and will need fans to provide her coaching on the words, but, she gave it a shot. Hyena guy at her table was enjoying himself greatly with laughs that were blood curdling. Sometime later, the bank sales lady visits our table and begins pitching something but I was unable to listen due to her incredibly strappy nice shoes, which, we determined, even with a collapse of the bank in this environment would allow her never to be poor in life .

9:45 a.m. -- Wake up call from the family. Big girl wants to know if I'm at Dallas and if I'm watching the game. Then if I could make momma turn on a Dora. Dora is evil I've decided.

10:30 a.m. -- Murf and I move into the lobby just people watching. Again, not much going on. Karl Swanson is doing his check out. Randy Thomas is well dressed and sitting with a young boy, likely his son. No other players milling about.

11 a.m. -- We get our stuff and meet some of the guys out front as we are their ride to the stadium. Lady at the limo entrance takes our parking pass so we have to circle around. No trust in Dallas. After dropping the guys off we have to make four circles of the stadium before we can get the right way into our lot.

[shorebird]

Farg Art............and ATV too.

[Seabiscuit36]

Rooting for the taterskins to beat the Cowboys is like rooting for Obama to beat McCain. It will bring some piece of mind, but you can't really jump up and down and get excited about it.

Does not compute

[shorebird]

Go Portis.

[ATV]

Farg Art............and ATV too.

LOL....I didn't say a thing.

[shorebird]

You don't have to say anything, just have to be a taterskins fan, even if they did beat Dallas.

[PhillyPhreak54]

We just beat up, beat on and easily moved the ball against the best team in the NFL, and a top 10 defense. Dallas could not stop Zorns offense and check this out people, this offense is only 4 games old!

How good can this offense be when we really master this new system, which is proving its almost unstoppable even at an early stage. We are looking like the best team in the NFL as of now, and the best part is we still havent even totaly learned the new offense and system.

Therefore your thoughts, could we be the best offense in the NFL by the end of this year?

[rjs246]

Please stop posting that drivel. If I wanted to make myself angry I'd visit that farging site myself.

[MDS]

yea i cant stomach that stuff anymore, id rather have my cornhole ravaged by jose reyes than learn that art is still alive