2006 NFL Draft Drinking Game

Wingspan · April 26, 2006, 05:32:26 PM

QuoteThe Official 2006 NFL Draft Drinking Game
As we've mentioned in other places, we're always wary of getting too excited about the NFL Draft, which always has an oddly pedophilic vibe to us, with all the talk of lean muscles and wide ends from fat sweaty guys in their mid-50s. But that's just us, and we realize we're in the minority. Over the weekend, The Mighty MJD will be joined by Football Outsiders' Michael David Smith for a big orgy of draft debauchery. It'll be fun.

But if that's still not enough for you, reader Stephen Benefield of Birmingham, Ala., is here to help. He sends us a helpful NFL Draft Drinking Game that should pretty much wipe you out by the time the Buzzsaw picks at No. 10. A highlight:

Cutler went to Vandy, so he's smart - 1 drink
Draft pick gives interview. 1 drink for every grammatical error.
Draft pick far too underdressed - 2 drinks
Camera shot of last undrafted, languishing pick - 3 drinks
A happy posse celebrating - 5 drinks
Vikings miss allotted time to make pick - 10 drinks
We're going to be plodding through the always-fun "Fiancee's parents meet your own" game all day Saturday, so, you know, we're gonna need this game. The full Drinking Game rules are after the jump. Feel free to add your own.

Your official 2006 rules

-If someone says:

"National Football League" instead of NFL - 1 drink
"Upside" - 1 drink
"Motor is always running" - 1 drink
"Intangible" - 1 drink
"Work ethic" - 1 drink
"Good/bad character guy" - 1 drink
"War room" - 1 drink

-If the following topics are brought up:

The subject of Brett Favre - 2 drinks
Favre loving the game - 5 drinks
If Favre says he loves the game - 10 drinks
How will Parcells and TO get along - 2 drinks
Comparisons of Reggie Bush to Gale Sayers - 1 drink
New Orleans disaster references - 1 drink

-ESPN-ization of the world:

Monday Night Football on ESPN promos/references - 2 drinks
ESPN Mobile - 2 drinks

-Oh, those wacky ESPN personalities:

Berman flubs line - 2 drinks
Irvin says something that no one in our group can understand - 2 drinks
Irvin defends the un-defendable - 2 drinks
Kiper has in-depth analysis of some Division 1-AA level player or lower - 3 drinks
Salisbury & Clayton staged argument - 5 drinks
Tom Jackson & Michael Irvin both wear conservative suits - Head to liquor store, all must drink a 5th of vodka.

-Wild Card:

Cutler went to Vandy, so he's smart - 1 drink
Draft pick gives interview. 1 drink for every grammatical error.
Draft pick far too underdressed - 2 drinks
Camera shot of last undrafted, languishing pick - 3 drinks
A happy posse celebrating - 5 drinks
Vikings miss allotted time to make pick - 10 drinks
If Cutler is 1st or 2nd QB taken - drown it
Brodie Croyle taken in the 1st!!!! - drown it
Marcus Vick does something illegal on draft day - drown it

BigEd76 · April 26, 2006, 05:38:45 PM

QuoteVikings miss allotted time to make pick - 10 drinks

Drunkmasterflex · April 26, 2006, 05:43:50 PM

Christ if you did that you would be so drunk by the time the Eagles picked you probably would be to shteinfaced to remember who they picked if you were even conscious.

The BIGSTUD · April 26, 2006, 05:44:14 PM

Sounds like quite a few people are going to drop dead from blood alcohol poisoning this weekend.

PoopyfaceMcGee · April 26, 2006, 05:53:47 PM

My buddy and I are going to make a few changes and do this. With Jagermeister.

Drunkmasterflex · April 26, 2006, 06:00:45 PM

Quote from: FFatPatt on April 26, 2006, 05:53:47 PM
My buddy and I are going to make a few changes and do this. With Jagermeister.

I hope you each have a half gallon and a stomach pump.

NGM · April 26, 2006, 06:01:32 PM

Quote from: Drunkmasterflex on April 26, 2006, 06:00:45 PM
Quote from: FFatPatt on April 26, 2006, 05:53:47 PM
My buddy and I are going to make a few changes and do this. With Jagermeister.

I hope you each have a half gallon and a stomach pump.

You know you're gonna do it.

PoopyfaceMcGee · April 26, 2006, 06:06:46 PM

Quote from: Drunkmasterflex on April 26, 2006, 06:00:45 PM
Quote from: FFatPatt on April 26, 2006, 05:53:47 PM
My buddy and I are going to make a few changes and do this. With Jagermeister.

I hope you each have a half gallon and a stomach pump.

Says "Drunkmasterflex"... ha!

Here's my slightly modified version, taking into account that I'm not a Cardinals fan and that I'll be flipping back and forth between ESPN and NFLN. Also, I took into account the staggered effect of a Favre mention/interview:

QuoteYour official 2006 NFL draft drinking game rules

-If someone says:

"National Football League" instead of NFL - 1 drink
"Upside" - 1 drink
"Motor is always running" or "High Motor guy" - 1 drink
"Intangible/s" - 1 drink
"Work ethic" - 1 drink
"Good/bad character guy" - 1 drink
"War room" - 1 drink

-If the following topics are brought up:

The subject of Brett Favre - 2 drinks
Favre loving the game - 3 drinks
If Favre actually says he loves the game - 5 drinks
How will Parcells and TO get along - 2 drinks
Comparisons of Reggie Bush to Gale Sayers - 1 drink
New Orleans disaster references - 1 drink

-ESPN-ization of the world:

Monday Night Football on ESPN promos/references - 1 drink
NFL games on NFL Network promos – 1 drink
ESPN Mobile - 2 drinks

-Oh, those wacky ESPN personalities:

Mayock compares another QB unfavorably to Jay Cutler - 2 drinks
Corey Chavous mentions Reggie McNeal - 1 drink
Berman flubs line - 2 drinks
Irvin says something that no one in our group can understand - 2 drinks
Irvin defends the un-defendable - 2 drinks
Kiper/Mayock has in-depth analysis of Division 1-AA level player or lower - 3 drinks
Salisbury & Clayton staged argument - 5 drinks
Tom Jackson & Michael Irvin both wear conservative suits - Head to liquor store, all must drink a 5th of vodka.

-Wild Card:

(player) went to (perceived smart school), so he's smart - 1 drink
Draft pick gives interview. 1 drink for every blatant grammatical error.
Draft pick far too underdressed - 2 drinks
Camera shot of last undrafted, languishing pick - 3 drinks
A happy posse celebrating - 2 drinks
Patriots take a player in 1st that has a 2nd/3rd round grade – 1 drink
(remember to drink when said player goes to Pro Bowl)
Vikings miss allotted time to make pick - 10 drinks
Any other team misses allotted time – 2 drinks
Eagles miss allotted time – chug and refill
If Cutler is 1st or 2nd QB taken - drown it
Brodie Croyle taken in the 1st round!!!! - drown it
Marcus Vick does something illegal on draft day - drown it
Eagles take someone more than 10 players down Kiper's best available in the 1st round – chug and refill

hbionic · April 26, 2006, 06:21:50 PM

You should throw in ...anytime the word 'Warrior' and 'Favre' are used in any combination. 1 Tequila shot

BigEd76 · April 26, 2006, 07:00:11 PM

Jets fans boo their pick = 1 drink

MDS · April 26, 2006, 07:24:11 PM

eagles dont draft a crappy wide reciever=kill yourself

Drunkmasterflex · April 26, 2006, 09:34:23 PM

See the thing is I never said I wasn't going to do it.

PoopyfaceMcGee · April 26, 2006, 10:02:19 PM

Quote from: Drunkmasterflex on April 26, 2006, 09:34:23 PM
See the thing is I never said I wasn't going to do it.

Well, better make it a gallon of Jager and just watch the draft in the hospital waiting room.

PhillyPhreak54 · April 26, 2006, 10:40:59 PM

Quote from: FFatPatt on April 26, 2006, 10:02:19 PM
Quote from: Drunkmasterflex on April 26, 2006, 09:34:23 PM
See the thing is I never said I wasn't going to do it.

Well, better make it a gallon of Jager and just watch the draft in the hospital waiting room.

"Hello, sirs. Can we help you today? Do you need to see a doctor? Do you have a family member here?

"No, thanks. But keep an eye on us. And have the stomach pump ready. By the way, you wouldn't happen to have a spare bedpan and some ice would you? I need something to keep this Jaeger cold in".

Feva · April 27, 2006, 06:58:07 AM

QuoteIrvin says something that no one in our group can understand - 2 drinks
Irvin defends the un-defendable - 2 drinks