the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

[Diomedes]

I don't go to malls.  that is incredibly accurate.

[Susquehanna Birder]

I don't go to malls.  that is incredibly accurate.

Bwahaha...love the filter.

I try to avoid them, but I needed to get into the Boscov's for something in particular, and the easiest route was to walk through the center of the mall.

[Diomedes]

I get agitated and droopy all at once as soon as I walk in one of those things.  I want to punch people, and also go to sleep.  Awful places.

[Sgt PSN]

I was walking through a mall with a few buddies out in SD last year and one of those hippies was selling that damn Dianetics book or whatever the hell it's called.  Anywho, she stopped me and asked if I wanted a free stress test.  I said sure and she gave me these 2 metal cylanders that were hooked up to a little metal box with a meter on it.  She told me to relax and then our conversation went a little something like this:

Sales slut "What stresses you out?"

Me "Crappy salesmen"

She immediately yanked the cylanders out of my hands and thanked me for my time. 

[Diomedes]

That was a Scientologist, dook.

[Susquehanna Birder]

 

I saw quite a few "Dianetics" salespeople out in Times Square last weekend. Do they know that getting stuck in the city, handing out propaganda to strangers, is not exactly being a success in life?

[Rome]

You blew it, Sassy.  When she asked you if you wanted a free "stress test" she meant blow job.

Serves you right for going to the mall with Chuggie.

[PhillyPhreak54]

[Sgt PSN]

That was a Scientologist, dook.

Well no shtein Dio

But more importantly, she was a salesman/recruiter.  I hate those friggin people. 

[Father Demon]

Mile high club? Indictment alleges sex on plane

RALEIGH, North Carolina (AP) -- A California couple are facing federal charges after allegedly refusing to stop "overt sexual activity" on a flight to Raleigh, North Carolina.

Carl Warren Persing, of Lakewood, California, and Dawn Elizabeth Sewell, of Huntington Beach, California, were indicted on charges of interfering with flight crew members during their September 15 Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles.

According to court documents, flight attendants saw Persing and Sewell kissing, embracing and "acting in a manner that made other passengers uncomfortable" while the plane was stopped in Phoenix.

A flight attendant asked them to stop. They obeyed initially but resumed the behavior during the flight from Phoenix to Raleigh, authorities said.

When the flight attendant again requested them to stop, Persing allegedly told the flight attendant: "I'm going to give you one warning to get out of my face."

Persing and Sewell continued the verbal harassment after a flight attendant refused to serve Persing alcohol, according to court documents.

Law enforcement officials were waiting for the couple when they arrived at Raleigh-Durham International Airport. Messages left for Persing and Sewell's attorneys were not returned.

One thing everyone should know.  Don't mess around with people in charge of the plane.  The law will always be waiting for you, and there's no where else to go when you land.

Also, I bet she was ugly.

[Sgt PSN]

If all they were doing was kissing, then that's lame.  But at the same time, you're never going to win against airline personnel......especially mid-flight.  Raising your voice at them will get you a shiney new set of bracelets real quick. 

[Susquehanna Birder]

Sounds like they were doing it in the passenger area. Ew. At least take it to the bathroom. If you can fit.

[Seabiscuit36]

About me:
My name is Matt, i'm a happy go lucky adrenaline junkie who just cant say no. I also like to make fun of retarded people, kill animals for no apparent reason, cus at old people, make counterfeit money and go to strip clubs. I like to drop acid and go skiing, jumping off bridges into water, wrecking rental cars( Ive totaled two and got away with it successfully), and a good pair of slacks. I also enjoy a good barfight, or if thats not poppin off, I like to go outside and find two bums to fight over $20 or a meal. I like proving people wrong and knowing everything. I like to volunteer at the local homeless shelter( to find good contestants for bumfights). I like to throw my old shoes over a power line near my house, to let the hustlers know that its ma turf mathafarga! I like to wear a plain white T-shirt that is 3 times my size cuz you cant see ma gat as well or some shtein. I like to launch fruit out of my water-balloon slingshot and read about it in the newspaper. I like streaking on a nice night. I like to get roofied at a bar and get taken advantage of. I like sex on the beach. I like carjacking unsuspecting drivers during morning rush-hour. I like beating italians in bocci ball and black people in basketball. I like to cut peoples legs off and count the rings inside to see how old they are. I like to feed expensive tropical fish to the pirahhnas when Im at the pet store. I like to eat food while shopping at the grocery store. I like to dress up in a bear suit to scare campers and to mate with female bear-ettes. I'm a vigilante-for-hire on weekends (ask about our cheap rates!). I like going into a crowded area, yelling,"He's got a gun!", and then popping a balloon under my arm. I like "pretending" to drown in the ocean so I can make-out with the hot life-guards. Many of these things are true, many of them are not. Can YOU tell which ones they are??? hahahahahaha

My good friends myspace General info...   I think he decided to put everything out there    

[Father Demon]

1 Percent of Web Deemed Pornographic  (more story at the link)

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- About 1 percent of Web sites indexed by Google and Microsoft are sexually explicit, according to a U.S. government-commissioned study.

Government lawyers introduced the study in court this month as the Justice Department seeks to revive the 1998 Child Online Protection Act, which required commercial Web sites to collect a credit card number or other proof of age before allowing Internet users to view material deemed "harmful to minors."

The U.S. Supreme Court blocked the law in 2004, ruling it also would cramp the free speech rights of adults to see and buy what they want on the Internet. The court said technology such as filtering software may work better than such laws.

Guessing from the percentage of web sites that make it to my computer screen, it has to be higher than that.

[Sgt PSN]

I dunno.  If you think about it, pretty much every business/company/product has their own website.  Movies have their own websites, celebrities have their own sites and the average Joe has his own website.  Then you've got fan sites like this one dedicated to a sports team and you've got fan sites dedicated to celebrities.  There's historical websites, government websites, this website, that website, it never ends.  Sure, there's more pr0n on the internets than any one person could view in a lifetime and it's probably the most lucrative business on the web.  But I wouldn't be surprised at that it makes up such a small percentage of websites out there.