the random musings not worthy of new thread thread

[reese125]

dez bryants mother

[Diomedes]

whos dick she suck to get 'em?

[reese125]

Jeff Ireland's.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Hey, I got these cheeeeeezburgers, mang...

[phattymatty]

so i got dressed for work this morning...was about to leave when i heard the shower dripping.  went in to tighten the knob and turned it the wrong way.  blam.  my entire head and back and shirt is soaking wet.  pretty awesome move.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

That is exceptional.  I can't say I've ever done that specifically, but I give you credit for being able to laugh at yourself.

About a year ago on an otherwise unremarkable work day, I realized around 11am that I was wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe.  But I wasn't posting on CF at the time, so I suppose I'll never know if I would have been as forthcoming about it.

[rjs246]

Turn your head and cough.

Seriously though, this is pretty huge.

[SunMo]

turn your head and cough is for a hernia check, not prostate cancer...idiot

[MDS]

gah

[rjs246]

turn your head and cough is for a hernia check, not prostate cancer...idiot

Clearly I haven't had any mandoctors manhaldning my manly manbits lately.

[phattymatty]

speaking of...i had a physical last week, mostly because of several unwise drunk decisions since i've been single again, and the doc actually called me yesterday and congratulated me on how great my cholesterol level is.  which makes no sense to me.  if anything i have been eating much worse lately.

[Diomedes]

When I saw my doc last week, he asked me who my doctor is.  "You," I said.  "I am," he asked, "I don't recognize you."  "Well, I recognize you," I replied, "and it's fine with me that you don't.  I'm not coming to see you unless I need to."

Next thing he asks me, as I'm coughing, blowing snot everywhere, can barely speak:  "So, why are you here today?"

This is the same guy who told me to drink less last time I saw him.  And he wonders why I don't drop in once a year for a lecture.

[Munson]

speaking of...i had a physical last week, mostly because of several unwise drunk decisions since i've been single again, and the doc actually called me yesterday and congratulated me on how great my cholesterol level is.  which makes no sense to me.  if anything i have been eating much worse lately.

Beer actually increases the amount of "good" cholesterol in your body.

[Susquehanna Birder]

I didn't see my doctor for three or four years. The practice moved to a new building, my previous doc retired, and they put all my records in "off site storage." I had to fill out paperwork like I was a new patient, and they didn't bother to look up my records.

[Seabiscuit36]

my doctor is hot, i liked it when she had to check for my hernia