What do you do...

[rjs246]

... to keep yourself from murdering your dog's face when you get home to find that she has eaten your cable remote, your digital camera and several CDs, all of which were tucked away well above her general reach?

Apparently, I drink a bottle of wine by myself and eat a bunch of peanut butter sammiches for dinner.

I would assume there are healthier ways to deal with wanting to stab a pet. Any suggestions?

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

We put our dogs in a cage when we go out, because we're not idiots.

[Diomedes]

link

[rjs246]

My dog was crated for well over a year. Now her crate is the kitchen. This week she seems to have discovered that her 80 pound half great dane ass can knock over the gate. Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to put her down. You know, for fun.

But otherwise, extremely helpful. Thanks A.. er, FF!

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

Well, my wife has a bad habit of leaving her purse open on the kitchen table or some half-eaten candy or something on the end table, so our basset has been known to treat himself to whole packs of gum, pop rocks, and cough drops.

Not CD's or electronics, though.  That would be a first.

[rjs246]

A basset? Chirst how do you deal with the awful noise they make? Let me guess, bottles of wine and sammiches.

[PoopyfaceMcGee]

A basset? Chirst how do you deal with the awful noise they make? Let me guess, bottles of wine and sammiches.

Ours is very quiet, except the lips-smacking sound when he's licking his crotch.  He rarely barks and we've heard him howl maybe twice in his whole life.  He's not quite right, as would be expected from a dog under my care.

Usually, we do drink when the dogs get into something they shouldn't.  Like the one night I was hosting a poker game, and the dogs got the whole cheese tray off the counter and treated themselves to vienna sausages and 6-7 different kinds of cheese the wife had put together.  Oh, and all the cheese was cut into cubes with toothpicks.  It looked like they ate around most of them, but still.  I didn't hear the tray crash down, because I was too busy winning the tournament.

A few shots of Jager later, and I didn't even remember I had dogs.

[rjs246]

So let me get this straight. You were hosting poker night but you played a tournament meaning that people were going to bust out and leave early rather than playing another type of cards where people could get zesty and play until the sun came up. And then, to further disgrace yourself, you served cheese hors d'oeuvres? I think you need to take a long hard look in the mirror, mister.

[Diomedes]

odd couple rjs swats playfully at FF.  how cute.

[rjs246]

I was going to leave your link alone. Pretend as though it never happened, but dude, what the farg are you doing posting that shtein? A puppy and a lion cub? Did you lose your nutsack on the way home from work?

[Diomedes]

No dickhead, you and FF lost yours.  Obviously, my point wasn't clear.

[mussa]

i don't know if it works but my sister's boyfriend has a lab. whenever he eats something or chews something, he will tie whatever it is he ate/chewed on onto his head, preferably away from his mouth.  anyway its supposed to humiliate them.  my girl did it to her half pit/half lab and he was embarassed.  he wouldn't even look at the neighbors dog, who he's in love with.  it was hilarious.

but really rjs, the dog is doing that because he's not getting enough walks outside probably.  its a common problem most people have with dogs.  have u ever watched that show, The Dog Whisperer?  You will learn alot.  Its a great show. it sounds crazy about the walks, but its usually the root to all dogs problems. 

[MDS]

Drive to the PETA offices and start beating your dog to a bloody pulp. Not only will you get your anger out, but you will piss of a bunch of terrorists in the process.

[Rome]

Avoid getting dogs as pets.

[LBIggle]

get a supersoaker 3000.

or shoot it with a paintball gun.   just don't forget to make sure there's no paintballs in it, sicko.