Degrading strip club experiences

Zanshin · February 17, 2006, 08:23:09 AM

Geez, I haven't been to a strip club in a couple of years. It was fun when I was younger, but it just seems like a cheesy waste of money these days.

Last time I went to a strip club in Philly, I was at Delilah's....what a farging mess. It was my bachelor party, I was totally wrecked and it was our last stop. We had a special section upstairs, and the bottle girls were loading me up with booze. My brother requested this SMOKING hot stipper to come over to give me a lap dance. But this bodyguard dude said she didn't do lapdances. Well, my brother gave her enough money to make an exception.

So, she comes over and starts doing her thing, grinding getting really close. But I'm starting to feel very not well, so I tell her to back off....she doesn't, laughs it off and turns to put her chest in my face. Bad move. Next thing I know I have this projectile vomiting all over her tits. Everything after that is sort of a blur.

I'm pretty sure we got kicked out...and that hurt my feelings, too. It's like I'm stereotyped just for a little tit puking...and that makes me sad.

Sgt PSN · February 17, 2006, 08:25:30 AM

Hot stripper boobs in your face and you puke.

Say it with me now.........

GAY!

Zanshin · February 17, 2006, 08:27:47 AM

Yeah? Man, the wife's gonna be pissed when she finds out. But I'm glad you cleared that up for me.

Sgt PSN · February 17, 2006, 08:56:41 AM

I'm here to help.

Zanshin · February 17, 2006, 09:05:49 AM

Well, sure. Being a gay dude, it's in your best interest to convert as many people as possible to improve your odds.

rjs246 · February 17, 2006, 09:13:33 AM

I, for one, thinks its farging awesome that you yacked on a stripper's moneybags. Well played.

Zanshin · February 17, 2006, 09:17:13 AM

Quote from: rjs246 on February 17, 2006, 09:13:33 AM
I, for one, thinks its farging awesome that you yacked on a stripper's moneybags. Well played.

Oh, you would have loved it. It wasn't like a little dribble. It was about 8-hours worth of booze, greasy D&B grub, and Geno's cheesesteaks in a technicolor fury. Sadly, I'm a little proud of it.

MadMarchHare · February 17, 2006, 09:18:31 AM

"Face it Flounder; you threw up ON Dean Wormer."

PhillyPhreak54 · February 17, 2006, 09:19:23 AM

One time me and my boys were at this all nude joint in Austin (Showpalace) and for some reason they had this old ugly ass broad with like 4 teeth there. Every girl was HOT except for this one. So when one of my boys got up to use the can we called this toothless wonder over and gave her $40 so she'd give him a dance when he came back. She then let us know for $20 more she'd make a wax mold of her kitty for him. So we forked over 20 more and told her to beat it until he came back and sat down and to "surprise" him.

So she comes over after a few minutes go by and starts rubbing up all over him. He has this look onhis face that was priceless because he was ripping her a few minutes earlier.

She then gives him his dance and as she's finishing she picks up the candle and douses her area with wax. Stays sitting on his lap wih her legs behind her head for about 2 minutes and rips off this mold and gives it to him with a kiss.

He tried to be slick and leave it on the table as we left. But my other buddy picked it up and kept it. On the way home I bought one of those cheap ass toy necklaces from the gas station and we slung it around his neck when he fell asleep.

mussa · February 17, 2006, 10:40:57 AM

@ phreak and Zanny

Rome · February 17, 2006, 01:16:40 PM

Boooooooooooooooo!

We drove by there last night and I slowed down to see what was happening.

A bunch of old blue hairs gave me the thumbs-up sign, and in return, I gave them the Loser sign back.

Boorish & provincial puritans can kiss my grundle.

rjs246 · February 17, 2006, 01:21:34 PM

QuoteWe drove by there last night and I slowed down to see what was happening.

You're the kind of driver that inspires people to kill.

MadMarchHare · February 17, 2006, 01:23:14 PM

http://www.local6.com/education/7151219/detail.html

But the goat sex hazing ritual, on the other hand, is farging hilarious.

Rome · February 17, 2006, 01:59:35 PM

Quote from: rjs246 on February 17, 2006, 01:21:34 PM
QuoteWe drove by there last night and I slowed down to see what was happening.

You're the kind of driver that inspires people to kill.

It was either slow down or plow through the cop who was standing in the middle of the highway directing traffic.

But yeah, I see your point.

rjs246 · February 17, 2006, 02:11:28 PM

So you could have kept traffic moving AND plowed over a pig? You made the wrong choice, sir.