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Eagles => Eagles Talk => Topic started by: MURP on November 22, 2006, 04:24:47 PM

Title: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: MURP on November 22, 2006, 04:24:47 PM
season is toast, time for rumors. 


1.  Problem- Rod Hood a healthy scratch from Titans game:

possible cause: contract issues led to Andy Reid benching Hood.

conspiracy cause:  Eagles promised Joselio some playing time in return for dropping a massive lawsuit against the organization for displaying his wang during a post game interview.



add yours. 
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Rome on November 22, 2006, 04:29:06 PM
Reno Mahe has pictures of Andy Reid getting blown by a a half-polish lesbian transvestite, hence his continued presence on the roster year after year.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Wingspan on November 22, 2006, 04:34:09 PM
Quote from: Jerome99RIP on November 22, 2006, 04:29:06 PM
Reno Mahe has pictures of Andy Reid getting blown by a a half-polish lesbian transvestite, hence his continued presence on the roster year after year.

yeah, nevermind that he's actually played well this season
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: PoopyfaceMcGee on November 22, 2006, 04:36:08 PM
The Titans mess overshadowed a very good game for Mahe.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Wingspan on November 22, 2006, 04:44:58 PM
Problem: Phantom Season Ticket waiting list

Possible cause: Standing room only tickets

Residual problem: Linc ramps can't hold it.

Conspiracy: Tank the season. People wont show up. Hence the eagles are saving lives by keeping them from the games.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Feva on November 22, 2006, 05:19:29 PM
Quote from: FFatPatt on November 22, 2006, 04:36:08 PM
The Titans mess overshadowed a very good game for Mahe.

Truth.  Mahe was excellent.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Diomedes on November 22, 2006, 05:33:29 PM
Yeah, everyone love Reno now.

LOL at the conspiracies on offer. 
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: PoopyfaceMcGee on November 22, 2006, 05:45:29 PM
I don't love Reno at all, but his performance to talent ratio has been higher than nearly everyone else on the team.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: MDS on November 22, 2006, 05:47:44 PM
Problem- the linebackers suck

possible cause: the eagles dont value the position and believe they can get by with the likes of mccoy and jones

conspiracy cause: andy reid and jim johnson are actually mentally retarted and think that what they have passes as good
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Feva on November 22, 2006, 05:49:35 PM
I guess I just don't irrationally bash him like other people do.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: PoopyfaceMcGee on November 22, 2006, 05:57:13 PM
Problem - The playcalling heavily favors the pass and is extremely predictable when it counts.

Possible Cause - Andy Reid is stuck in his ways and truly believes it's the best way to win consistently in the NFL.

Conspiracy - Andy is a racist and is secretly trying to kill McNabb so he can eventually draft a proper white Mormon successor.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Wingspan on November 22, 2006, 06:01:24 PM
Quote from: FFatPatt on November 22, 2006, 05:57:13 PM
Problem - The playcalling heavily favors the pass and is extremely predictable when it counts.

Possible Cause - Andy Reid is stuck in his ways and truly believes it's the best way to win consistently in the NFL.

Conspiracy - Andy is a racist and is secretly trying to kill McNabb so he can eventually draft a proper white Mormon successor. After he found out Koy wasn't mormon like Ty.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Quasimoto on November 22, 2006, 06:08:46 PM
Problem:  Eagle video played in unison with fight song bears strong resemblance to Nazi propaganda films

Possible cause:  The clips in the video are of old Eagle games from the 40s and 50s

Conspiracy: Jeff and Joe (they're not really jewish like the taterskins and their fans would have you believe) have embedded sublimnal images and messages in the video in the song.  If you go through the video frame by frame every 45 seconds you will notice a huge swastika flash across the screen.  Also if you play the fight song backwards you can hear "Heil Hitler" being shouted.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Susquehanna Birder on November 22, 2006, 10:43:39 PM
Problem: Donovan McNabb will always be Andy Reid's QB.

Probable cause: Andy is totally sold on McNabb's leadership abilities and QB talent.

Conspiracy: Donovan is Andy's biological son.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: MURP on November 22, 2006, 11:49:42 PM
Problem:  Broderick Bunkley doesnt play a single snap against the Titans.

Probable Cause:  He Sucks

Conspiracy Cause:  Bunkley would not sign a 10 year 15 million dollar extension.  Reid will teach him a lesson or two about contract negotiations with the Eagles. 
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: PoopyfaceMcGee on November 23, 2006, 08:07:59 AM
Problem:  Darwin Walker got trucked on a long Travis Henry run.

Probable cause:  He sucks.

Conspiracy cause (the one Walker claims is truth):  He had jumped offsides, and while he was getting back and his weight was shifted backwards, the ball was snapped, so he was obviously not able to hold his ground.  OBVIOUSLY
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Westy on November 23, 2006, 11:52:26 AM
Problem: Drafting and playing white players

Probable Cause:  Colored blindness, Confusion over Mahe's race

Conspiracy Causes: Andy was always in search for the next Mamula
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Quasimoto on November 23, 2006, 12:13:52 PM
Problem:  Joselio Hanson starts over Roderick Hood

Possible Cause:  Hanson outperforms Hood in practice.

Conspiracy:  Andy is holding Survivor style type of elimnation games during practice and Hood was voted off the "island".
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Diomedes on November 25, 2006, 12:42:14 PM
the conspiracy stylings of Sal Pal: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/columns/story?columnist=paolantonio_sal&id=2674195

Problem: 36 year old, throws-like-a-girl Jeff Garcia is starting over 29 year old with up-side AJ Feeley.

Possible Cause:  Feeley sucks/has very little experience by comparison, etc.

Conspiracy (two part):  A.) If the backup QB does well through the end of this season, there is no way in hell Garcia could spark a  QB controversy, whereas Feeley could easily start one.  Reid et. al will do anything to avoid a QB melodrama...even sacrifice the rest of this season to achieve it.  B.)  Also, no matter how well he performs, Garcia ain't gonna get into the Eagles' bank vault; he's gone next year.  If Feeley started and did well, not only would the team have a QB controversy, they'd also have a starting caliber QB getting paid backup money, which could also rock the Eagles FO boat...
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Father Demon on November 25, 2006, 01:40:16 PM
I'm OK with going 5-11 this year.  Granted, the Eagles are probably going 6-10 anyways, but I say go for the pick.  Why the farg not?

Start Garcia -- I don't give a damn.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: dis12 on November 25, 2006, 03:52:24 PM
Quote from: FFatPatt on November 22, 2006, 05:45:29 PM
I don't love Reno at all, but his performance to talent ratio has been higher than nearly everyone else on the team.

sad day in Eaglesland when that is the truth.
Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Rome on November 26, 2006, 08:20:41 PM
Quote from: FFatPatt on November 22, 2006, 05:45:29 PM
I don't love Reno at all, but his performance to talent ratio has been higher than nearly everyone else on the team.

A ringing endorsement if ever I read one.

Title: Re: Eagle conspiracy theories
Post by: Eaglez on November 26, 2006, 11:26:51 PM
Reno is the man. One of the best players on the field again tonight for the Eagles.