Alright. Time to admit it. I am about to turn 45. I pulled my back out riding my quad the other day. When kids pull up with the music blasting I think to myself "I wish they would turn that down." When they smoke up their tires in the parking lot I think "Theres no need to drive like that." When young girls come outside half dressed, exposing their young bodies I think "They should put some clothes on....................."
OK that last one is bullshtein, but all tha rest are pretty true. Somewhere along the line I seem to have turned into an Old farger. And as a result I feel it is now my right to bitch about how things are today, and how great they were "back in the day."
If you are an Older farger, please share your thoughts and memorys. If you are not,
Get the hell off my lawn.
I remember thinking I would quit smoking when cigerettes reach $1.00 a pack. I remember driving my mini bike up and down Interstate 95 when it was under construction. I remember Gas being 48 cents a gallon. I went to the Philadelphia Stars games. Now they were champions, I'll tell you what. I had a 1970 Mustang Fastback that put all these new cars to shame. I remember Hershey Bars were a nickel. I went to the parade when the flyers won the Stanley Cup.
Twice.
Wow, that was a long farging time ago.
I need to take a nap.
tell us more, grandpa
i threw my back out humping your mom last night.
snoogins.
That was my dad.
I'm only 31. But I've been a cranky icehole for all of those years. Do I qualify?
Cigarettes were $1.25 a pack when I started. They were more than 6 when I quit 3 years ago, and they are now as much as $8, depending where you go (in NYC).
I was at a free outdoor all ages rock concert this weekend, and I all but hated it because of the under 16 set. Annoying little fargs. For six full songs of one band, about 20 kids cooed "whoo, whoo" in unison, mimmicking chorus from one of the first songs, completely disrupting the music. I wanted to punch them all dead. Little fargs are too young to know the difference between cheering and disrupting.
People drive way, way too fast on my block. It's a residenctial city block, stop signs on both ends. 60mph is unnecessary. And if someone doing that hits my cat, and I'm around, they'll be calling their lawyer from a hospital bed. I've got money for a lawyer too, and no record.
A guy parked his car on my block three days ago with so much bass thumping that all of the wall hangins in my apartment vibrated like blown speakers, and every car alarm went off. No farging reason for that shtein.
I could go on.
Two of my closest friends little brothers have already been married and divorced. That shtein kind of makes me feel old, but mostly jsut makes me laugh at their dumb asses.
What really makes me feel old is going on a 3 day drinking binge and have a 3 day hangover afterwards to match. I mean seriously, who the farg is hungover for 3 full days? That shtein never used to happen to me.
The little bastiches across the street think they've started a garage band. They play the same two chords from Green Day and The White Stripes for about an hour, then they take turns jumping off the roof and onto a trampoline. I watch them from my desk here, camera ready to go the first time one of them gets seriously injured.
They constantly cut through my yard since I'm on the corner, and they just dump their trash under the nearest available tree or bush.
Quote from: General_Failure on July 18, 2006, 02:48:54 PM
The little bastiches across the street think they've started a garage band. They play the same two chords from Green Day and The White Stripes for about an hour, then they take turns jumping off the roof and onto a trampoline. I watch them from my desk here, camera ready to go the first time one of them gets seriously injured.
They constantly cut through my yard since I'm on the corner, and they just dump their trash under the nearest available tree or bush.
I swear I knew those same kids growing up in the early 90's. Are you stuck in a time warp?
Caltrops are better. They don't ruin the grass, or blow up your sewer line.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/1e/Caltrop.jpg/180px-Caltrop.jpg)
My car got egged last night. In this damn heat by the time I woke up it didn't matter what I did. Of course I drive an oxidized 93 Tercel but its the principle.
No offense... but why would punk kids bother egging a '93 Tercel?
When I egged cars as a youth (silent "h"), we'd go to the synagogue and egg all the Beemers and Mercedes.
It was a neighborhood deal I think. My buddy next door has a brand new Acura and he also got hit as well as all the cars down the street.
Blanket eggings are lame. Young whippersnappers should learn to target luxury autos only.
Drive by eggings, plaguing PA?
thats a headline here in lancaster
Quote from: rjs246 on July 18, 2006, 05:07:08 PM
Drive by eggings, plaguing PA?
we'll let you know, only at 11
After sports.
Does no one listen to Paul's Boutique anymore? I must be older than I thought.
I recognized it, but I don't go in for the pop culture references gimmick. First it's Beastie Boys lyrics, next it's Monty Python.
Shut up.
Y'all reminded me of a great Little Feat song, called "Boombox Car."
Quote
With all this rap dap 'o' lappin' and those bass drums a flappin
At a million and twenty dee bees
It's got my eyeballs bleadin' and my eardrums pleadin'
I'm beggin' mercy, please, please, please
But what has got me so mad is when you tell me oh dad
Ya 'bout as square as you can be
Would ya think I's neater if I blew out your tweeters
With this 12 gauge across my knees
Give up the keys
Yeti, when's your birthday?
Quote from: Diomedes on July 19, 2006, 02:25:52 PM
I recognized it, but I don't go in for the pop culture references gimmick. First it's Beastie Boys lyrics, next it's Monty Python.
That hurts. But 'tis merely a flesh wound.
Quote from: Susquehanna Birder on July 19, 2006, 04:26:17 PM
....Little Feat.......
Yeti, when's your birthday?
Little Feat. Now there was a hell of a band. Way better than any of this new wango tango.
Sept. 29th. What are you gettin me?
And Dio, you can be 13 and still be an old farger, so yeah you more than qualify.
i went to a party recently with a bunch of 18-23 yr old people, with a few of my friends who are 25-26. i felt like clubbing all the guys and raping the girls. does that make me a biter old man?
Quote from: mussa on July 21, 2006, 05:10:09 PM
i went to a party recently with a bunch of 18-23 yr old people, with a few of my friends who are 25-26. i felt like clubbing all the guys and raping the girls. does that make me a biter old man?
Who's party was that and why wasn't I invited?
Also, the cops caught the kids who egged all those cars. Apparently the rocket surgeons went to the local grocery store at 1:30 AM and bought 3 dozen eggs, the cashier reported it to the police.
Quote from: Yeti on July 21, 2006, 03:06:57 PM
Sept. 29th. What are you gettin me?
Consolation. I hit 45 next week.
I am only 26 and I have to deal with a lot of guys that are in the 18-20 range and I could choke just about everyone of them. They do nothing but make excuses all of the time as to why they are constantly late and jacked up. I wish you were able to fire people in the military, I know it is not feasable, but.....
Quote from: NGM on July 21, 2006, 05:32:49 PM
Quote from: mussa on July 21, 2006, 05:10:09 PM
i went to a party recently with a bunch of 18-23 yr old people, with a few of my friends who are 25-26. i felt like clubbing all the guys and raping the girls. does that make me a biter old man?
Who's party was that and why wasn't I invited?
Also, the cops caught the kids who egged all those cars. Apparently the rocket surgeons went to the local grocery store at 1:30 AM and bought 3 dozen eggs, the cashier reported it to the police.
some girl named aubrey. shes a sponsored surfer apparently. prob in ur grade. she flashed us a few times.
Quote from: Drunkmasterflex on July 21, 2006, 07:15:25 PM
I wish you were able to fire people in the military, I know it is not feasable, but.....
On the bright side, you can fire
at people in the military, so there's that.
Quote from: mussa on July 21, 2006, 07:18:50 PM
Quote from: NGM on July 21, 2006, 05:32:49 PM
Quote from: mussa on July 21, 2006, 05:10:09 PM
i went to a party recently with a bunch of 18-23 yr old people, with a few of my friends who are 25-26. i felt like clubbing all the guys and raping the girls. does that make me a biter old man?
Who's party was that and why wasn't I invited?
Also, the cops caught the kids who egged all those cars. Apparently the rocket surgeons went to the local grocery store at 1:30 AM and bought 3 dozen eggs, the cashier reported it to the police.
some girl named aubrey. shes a sponsored surfer apparently. prob in ur grade. she flashed us a few times.
You find out who she is so I can invite her to my next party. Maybe you can come.
Also, also, since the cops busted those little turds my buddy gets free repairs on his new Accura. :yay
Quote from: Zanshin on July 21, 2006, 07:21:00 PM
Quote from: Drunkmasterflex on July 21, 2006, 07:15:25 PM
I wish you were able to fire people in the military, I know it is not feasable, but.....
On the bright side, you can fire at people in the military, so there's that.
Yeah but as much of a motherfarger as I am to them they can do the same.
Quote from: mussa on July 21, 2006, 05:10:09 PM
i felt like clubbing all the guys and raping the girls. does that make me a biter old man?
It makes you a Yeti.
Quote from: NGM on July 21, 2006, 08:31:47 PM
Quote from: mussa on July 21, 2006, 07:18:50 PM
Quote from: NGM on July 21, 2006, 05:32:49 PM
Quote from: mussa on July 21, 2006, 05:10:09 PM
i went to a party recently with a bunch of 18-23 yr old people, with a few of my friends who are 25-26. i felt like clubbing all the guys and raping the girls. does that make me a biter old man?
Who's party was that and why wasn't I invited?
Also, the cops caught the kids who egged all those cars. Apparently the rocket surgeons went to the local grocery store at 1:30 AM and bought 3 dozen eggs, the cashier reported it to the police.
some girl named aubrey. shes a sponsored surfer apparently. prob in ur grade. she flashed us a few times.
You find out who she is so I can invite her to my next party. Maybe you can come.
Also, also, since the cops busted those little turds my buddy gets free repairs on his new Accura. :yay
u don't want to know who she is. i hung out with her again last weekend and she's psycho. shes obsessed with a buddy of mine, calls 50x a day, thinks they are something when he wants nothing to do with her and left half way through this bar crawl to meet some other girl. hah. but hey might fit in well for a night at your place.
...and when I was in elementary school they said we would have flying cars by the year 2000.
Where is my god damned flying car?
In Japan.
On the Discovery channel. Being launched from a junkyard trebuchet.
Can we launch Reno from one of those things? How about him and Josh parry at the same time?