One time, I was driving my family to California for vacation. I got lost, somwhere around Detroit. I got off the freeway and asked a nice looking man, of African persuasion, for help. The exchange went something like this:
Me: Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the express way?
Good Samiritan: farg yo mama!
Me: Thank you very much.
Now, I just felt like he said that because I was white. It made me sad and forced me to anally punish my wife later that night. When I think about that incident, to this day, I feel scared and inadequate.
You deserve whatever you get when you ask directions, unless you're a girl.
This one time a black chick told me that I had a lot of rhythm. For a white guy. I was stoked and popped like 17 boners.
"...I did not insult him. I just said, 'You're a block past it'!"
Quote from: rjs246 on February 16, 2006, 03:30:02 PM
This one time a black chick told me that I had a lot of rhythm. For a white guy. I was stoked and popped like 17 boners.
Her sister told me that I don't have any rhythm, but do have plenty of soul.
Scene 1:
In the olden days, there was this sweet king that had mounds of gold and babes. These pirates decided to steal the mounds and surrounded the castle and everybody freaked, except the king who was like "Chill homies, I'll handle this crap."
The pirates stood outside the castle walls and were like "You think you are so cool, but guess what, you're not. Good luck dying!" Then the king replied "Yeah right. How would you like to meet my best friends?"
Then out of nowhere there was a small sound of a guitar wailing really really hard behind the hills. The wailing started getting louder and louder and louder. Then out of nowhere there was this one sweet ass ninja standing on top of a huge hill. Everybody was like "Woooooooooooow!" He was wearing all black and he had this jet red guitar in his hands. Then smoke smoked over the hills like trains. But the smoke was ninjas. And the pirates saw about a billion ninjas with guitars standing on top this his huge hill. And they started to wail...
When the ninjas wailed on their guitars, the pirates started spraying diarrhea on each other and loved it. And when they wailed harder, the pirates sprayed harder. As the ninjas sauntered down the hill, the pirates' chests and butts exploded. (They died from this.) Then the ninjas finally reached the boss pirate who was really huge. Out of nowhere the boss pirate pulled out this baby banjo and tried to fiddle with it like a little baby-baby. The ninjas were like "Yeah right." and all the billions of ninjas surrounded the boss pirate. Half of the ninjas all combined to form the biggest guitar in the universe. The other half formed the second biggest boner in the universe. Then the huge guitar pointed right at the pirate, who was like "Holy CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" Before the pirate could even do anything, the super boner slapped against the guitar making the hugest wail ever to happen anywhere ever. The pirate exploded so hard that every single one of his kids he would have had exploded and all of his grandparents exploded along with his neighbors and people who he merely said "hello" to.
Then there was this huge concert at the castle. All the babes in the castle morphed into this humongous female crotch. The huge boner and crotch porked softly, while slamming into the guitar and wailing. And guess what, the king sat on top of this huge pile of gold and babes and laughed his frigg'n ass off about how stupid the pirates were.
QuoteThe huge boner and crotch porked softly, while slamming into the guitar and wailing.
Possibly the single greatest line ever written ever.
Y'know... I've been trying to find a nice bedtime story for my son... cool.
phattymatty...what is that from?
Quote from: hbionic on February 16, 2006, 09:27:35 PM
phattymatty...what is that from?
You are banned from the whole internets!
Seriously. There are people who don't know about the real ultimate power? Weak.
Quote from: hbionic on February 16, 2006, 09:27:35 PM
phattymatty...what is that from?
follow the big pimpin ringtone and you shall find.
Quote from: rjs246 on February 17, 2006, 09:11:43 AM
Seriously. There are people who don't know about the real ultimate power? Weak.
Just the ones that have a farging life.
Ooooooh. You TOLD me!
Quote from: Susquehanna Birder on February 17, 2006, 12:17:20 PM
Quote from: rjs246 on February 17, 2006, 09:11:43 AM
Seriously. There are people who don't know about the real ultimate power? Weak.
Just the ones that have a farging life.
And chuggie.
Thread of the year.
A little bit early for outrageously dorky message board claims, eh?
Never.
I disagree.