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Bandwagon Central => General => Topic started by: Diomedes on January 20, 2006, 07:41:56 PM

Title: Black Jesus
Post by: Diomedes on January 20, 2006, 07:41:56 PM
link (http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Movies/01/20/arts.jesus.black.reut/index.html)

Quote"We have to accept that Christ has been hijacked a bit -- he's gone very blond-haired and blue-eyed," he said. "The important thing about the message of Christ was that it is universal. It doesn't matter what he looked like."

Mind you, this is a CNN.com article.  I'm sure they murdered the interview.  Point is, watch the ensuing freak out White America is about to suffer.  Idiots.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: rjs246 on January 20, 2006, 07:48:39 PM
Who cares? The important thing is that Jesus got some ass before he died. Or didn't. Like I said, who cares?
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MDS on January 20, 2006, 07:49:26 PM
His mom sure as hell did. Mary was a slut.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: rjs246 on January 20, 2006, 07:50:54 PM
Whatever dude, his mom totally got impregnated by god. I don't care what you believe in, if there is a god, they know how to get DOWN.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MDS on January 20, 2006, 09:06:00 PM
Chuck Norris' penis is bigger than God's.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: Diomedes on January 20, 2006, 09:09:22 PM
Not to mention whiter.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MDS on January 20, 2006, 09:16:22 PM
So, can we assume Chuck Norris boned Mary?
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: rjs246 on January 20, 2006, 09:17:51 PM
I think we can assume that god plays catcher for chuck.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MDS on January 20, 2006, 09:21:58 PM
Seriously, if there is a heaven, I think we would have to assume Mary is working at the bordello.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: Diomedes on January 20, 2006, 09:23:38 PM
No shtein.  We're supposed to be happy there, right?  I'll tell you what, I won't be happy until I get God's sloppy seconds, Godamnit!!
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: rjs246 on January 20, 2006, 09:26:19 PM
I won't be happy until I see some freaky life after death sex. For real.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: hbionic on January 20, 2006, 10:06:42 PM
Werd.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: rjs246 on January 20, 2006, 10:08:37 PM
I'm talking about angels and demons and hounds of hell in a massive 7 or 8-way with Mary video taping while jesus bones her earhole. Only then will I be satisfied.

Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: General_Failure on January 20, 2006, 10:16:14 PM
A Newsweek poll found 67% of American belive in the virgin birth of Jesus. (http://www.lorebrandcomics.com/virginbirth.html)
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MadMarchHare on January 20, 2006, 10:22:51 PM
The average IQ in America is 100.  Impaired is 90.
It's not a log scale.
That should pretty much clear it up.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: stillupfront on January 20, 2006, 10:42:53 PM
Quote from: MadMarchHare on January 20, 2006, 10:22:51 PM
The average IQ in America is 100.  Impaired is 90.
It's not a log scale.
That should pretty much clear it up.

I believe and I have an IQ over 160. So much for your logic.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: Diomedes on January 20, 2006, 11:10:09 PM
Quote from: stillupfront on January 20, 2006, 10:42:53 PM
Quote from: MadMarchHare on January 20, 2006, 10:22:51 PM
The average IQ in America is 100.  Impaired is 90.
It's not a log scale.
That should pretty much clear it up.

I believe and I have an IQ over 160. So much for your logic.

You believe Jesus was black?  They don't call you stillupfront for nothing!
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: stillupfront on January 20, 2006, 11:31:24 PM
Quote from: Diomedes on January 20, 2006, 11:10:09 PM
Quote from: stillupfront on January 20, 2006, 10:42:53 PM
Quote from: MadMarchHare on January 20, 2006, 10:22:51 PM
The average IQ in America is 100.  Impaired is 90.
It's not a log scale.
That should pretty much clear it up.

I believe and I have an IQ over 160. So much for your logic.

You believe Jesus was black?  They don't call you stillupfront for nothing!

I believe Jesus is the Son of God. If he is black, brown white or whatever is really unimportant.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MDS on January 21, 2006, 12:04:31 AM
Quote from: General_Failure on January 20, 2006, 10:16:14 PM
A Newsweek poll found 67% of American belive in the virgin birth of Jesus. (http://www.lorebrandcomics.com/virginbirth.html)

so 67% of the people in this country are either too blinded by their faith to realize thats just not possible, or just plain stupid.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: stillupfront on January 21, 2006, 12:08:07 AM
Quote from: MDS on January 21, 2006, 12:04:31 AM
Quote from: General_Failure on January 20, 2006, 10:16:14 PM
A Newsweek poll found 67% of American belive in the virgin birth of Jesus. (http://www.lorebrandcomics.com/virginbirth.html)

so 67% of the people in this country are either too blinded by their faith to realize thats just not possible, or just plain stupid.

Not blinded by faith, strong in faith.

In God all things are possible.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: The BIGSTUD on January 21, 2006, 12:12:15 AM
If Chuck's penis is bigger than god's than where does Jack Bauer's fit into the picture?
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: stillupfront on January 21, 2006, 12:28:06 AM
Quote from: Philly Forever on January 21, 2006, 12:12:15 AM
If Chuck's penis is bigger than god's than where does Jack Bauer's fit into the picture?
It fits nicely in Chuggie's mouth.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MDS on January 21, 2006, 12:47:10 AM
No it's not. If God is powerful, why would he kill so many innocent people all the damn time. It's a bunch of crap.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: stillupfront on January 21, 2006, 12:49:29 AM
Quote from: MDS on January 21, 2006, 12:47:10 AM
No it's not. If God is powerful, why would he kill so many innocent people all the damn time. It's a bunch of crap.

He doesn't
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MDS on January 21, 2006, 12:53:25 AM
So God's reasponsible for the good stuff but for the bad stuff?
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: Diomedes on January 21, 2006, 12:54:43 AM
Deion didn't thank God for the plays he botched.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: stillupfront on January 21, 2006, 01:06:53 AM
Quote from: MDS on January 21, 2006, 12:53:25 AM
So God's reasponsible for the good stuff but for the bad stuff?
Meaning what? The bad stuff done by man is done of free will.  Natural disasters are happenstance of nature. God is not physically (maybe not the right word) responsible for the good of man-kind either. That is also free-will. However, His spiritual presence in our present day world and in the past is an influence on many people of goodwill.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: rjs246 on January 21, 2006, 10:56:02 AM
Hey iceholes. Talk about religion somewhere else. I'm trying to keep my breakfast down.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MDS on January 21, 2006, 11:02:36 AM
Ok hows this. Just say a clip of that gay guy who grabbed Scarlet Johannsens boobs ask Eva Longoria if she shaved her funhole. What the farg. I hate that. I cant ask that. Why can that corksucker?
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: rjs246 on January 21, 2006, 11:04:42 AM
Ha. That guy's living a charmed life.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: JTrotter Fan on January 21, 2006, 11:15:47 AM
Buddha bitches!
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: Wingspan on January 21, 2006, 11:23:30 AM
TOM WAITS lyrics -

"Chocolate Jesus"

Don't go to church on Sunday
Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the Bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know Jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more

I fall on my knees every Sunday
At Zerelda Lee's candy store

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I don't want no Anna Zabba
Don't want no Almond Joy
There ain't nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well it's the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate Jesus
Can satisfy my soul

When the weather gets rough
And it's whiskey in the shade
It's best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that's ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Good enough for me

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate Jesus
Keep me satisfied
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: Rome on January 21, 2006, 11:24:56 AM
As if a man from the middle east would be a blonde-haired and blue-eyed Aryan.

:-D

Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: Rome on January 21, 2006, 11:26:06 AM
Quote from: Diomedes on January 21, 2006, 12:54:43 AM
Deion didn't thank God for the plays he botched.

Right.  He blamed Satan for those.

>:D
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: methdeez on January 21, 2006, 12:53:51 PM
Quote from: MadMarchHare on January 20, 2006, 10:22:51 PM
The average IQ in America is 100.  Impaired is 90.
It's not a log scale.
That should pretty much clear it up.
The average IQ in the western world is 100.
Lower than 70 is considered impaired.
Stillupfront, you're a goddamn liar.


Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: methdeez on January 21, 2006, 12:57:28 PM
From what I understand, the entire 'virgin' mary was born out of a mistranslation. When the bible was translated into hebrew in like 70 AD from greek (?) the word for young girl was translated to virgin. That's what I learned in my religion class anyway.
Also, doesn't Jesus have older brothers and sisters?
How exactly, if she has other children...
Yeah, you're all stupid.
Title: Re: Black Jesus
Post by: MadMarchHare on January 21, 2006, 01:02:53 PM
I believe that 90 is impaired, and 70 is mentally retarded.