http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
I don't know why...but that's damn funny.
Quote
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
:-D
:-D :-D
QuoteFool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will farg you up.
:-D :-D :-D :-D
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
QuoteContrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship
I don't know why but I can't stop laughing at this. :-D
Is Chuck Norris a mammal?
He's a manimal.
Quote
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
Why are these so funny? I can't stop!!
QuoteWhen Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
QuoteTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
QuoteIn the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Quoteittle known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb
QuoteChuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
QuoteSticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
QuoteChuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
QuoteSomeone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
QuoteChuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
:-D :-D
QuoteThere are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
QuoteChuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
QuoteChuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
QuoteChuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
QuoteIn the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
:-D
QuoteOn his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
"# In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself."
Where have I seen this before ...hmmmm
http://www.concretefield.com/forum/index.php?topic=17605.0
Aww god damn that made my entire day. 5/5 :cfhead :cfhead :cfhead :cfhead :cfhead
:-D :-D :-D
QuoteChuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
QuoteWhen Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
QuoteThey once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shtein from anybody.
QuoteChuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
QuoteChuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
yea read my sig. im sure GF came up with that himself. ::)
Quote from: mussa on January 19, 2006, 02:31:47 PM
yea read my sig. im sure GF came up with that himself. ::)
i was going to tell you that it wasn't GF's, but i thought you already knew
Chuck Norris has two speeds, walk, and kill.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Quote from: Sun_Mo on January 19, 2006, 02:34:56 PM
Quote from: mussa on January 19, 2006, 02:31:47 PM
yea read my sig. im sure GF came up with that himself. ::)
i was going to tell you that it wasn't GF's, but i thought you already knew
Always assume that mussa doesn't know.
Am I the only person here who thinks this whole Chuck Norris thing is utterly farging retarded?
Chuck Norris thinks it's retarded too.
Quote from: Jerome99RIP on January 19, 2006, 03:25:28 PM
Am I the only person here who thinks this whole Chuck Norris thing is utterly farging retarded?
Fortune Cookie Say: "There is a roundhouse kick in your future"
Quote from: Jerome99RIP on January 19, 2006, 03:25:28 PM
Am I the only person here who thinks this whole Chuck Norris thing is utterly farging retarded?
I think the statements themselves are funny, but thats it. When people actually talk about him as if hes a god its really stupid.
Quote from: Dillen37 on January 19, 2006, 03:33:09 PM
Quote from: Jerome99RIP on January 19, 2006, 03:25:28 PM
Am I the only person here who thinks this whole Chuck Norris thing is utterly farging retarded?
I think the statements themselves are funny, but thats it. When people actually talk about him as if hes a god its really stupid.
lol...who does that? The whole thing is a goof.
QuoteChuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
Quote from: Zanshin on January 19, 2006, 03:34:37 PM
Quote from: Dillen37 on January 19, 2006, 03:33:09 PM
Quote from: Jerome99RIP on January 19, 2006, 03:25:28 PM
Am I the only person here who thinks this whole Chuck Norris thing is utterly farging retarded?
I think the statements themselves are funny, but thats it. When people actually talk about him as if hes a god its really stupid.
lol...who does that? The whole thing is a goof.
There was a post earlier (far too lazy to look) that said something about him, and im pretty sure it was in the Eagles section.
You don't say....
Umm, that was me...and it was a joking reference to this thread. Duh. ;D
Good. I was just keeping you on your toes.
Keep being stupid, and I'm going tell Chuck Norris to roundhouse your ass.
Chuck Norris would stomp this thread for sullying his good name.
chuck norris jokes, welcome to months ago.
New to me. Funny, too.
i agree, i think they're funny as hell, i put the same thing up here weeks ago and it got nothing.
Oh, so you're bitter. That's cool.
Quote from: phattymatty on January 19, 2006, 04:25:32 PM
i agree, i think they're funny as hell, i put the same thing up here weeks ago and it got nothing.
they weren't ready for it then...
Mussa was. He was confused but entertained.
i just farted
Quote from: phattymatty on January 19, 2006, 07:33:56 PM
i just farted
Chuck Norris is going to roundhouse kick you in the sphincter.
I've missed this fad until now. How cute.
QuoteFor some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
We aren't the only retarded group of people to get in this Chuck Norris thing....
(http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=246991694241077861&q=Chuck+Norris)
By a long shot....
(http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8888408397225296171&q=Chuck+Norris)
:sly
Yeah, I'm thinking there's a good chance nobody on here is going to go the video route.
On the EMB a guy just said...
What do you think about the Eagles gettin Chuck Norris as TO's replacement? Chuck Norris is completely unstoppable.Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. No NFL Defense can cover him.
Granted, he's a TATEr tot. Still, this joke has gone way too far.
I'm actually thinking of buying the 'What would chuck do' shirt. This whole chuck norris thing is hilarious.
Conan o'brien does a good job with that chuck norris level as well.
Quote from: hbionic on January 20, 2006, 10:05:33 PM
Conan o'brien does a good job with that chuck norris level as well.
He was practically the creator. In the summer of 2003 he created a lever on the side of his desk, and whenever he pulled it, they showed a random Walker, Texas Ranger clip.
Quote from: hbionic on January 20, 2006, 10:05:33 PM
I'm actually thinking of buying the 'What would chuck do' shirt. This whole chuck norris thing is hilarious.
Conan o'brien does a good job with that chuck norris level as well.
I bought one with the customized "Fool me once shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will farg you up." I admit I got it to wear to the bar once but hopefully there are some Chuck Norris groupies there.
See, the thing about this sort of thing is knowing when to stop. When your retarded cousin Chuggie knows about it, it's time to let it pass.
http://www.youtube.com/w/Young-Chuck-Norris---SNL?v=NBSpNPzVsMM
Walker Texas Ranger was on the TV when I woke up at 4:45 this morning. My ladyfriend couldn't figure out what the hell I was laughing at.
Quote from: rjs246 on January 27, 2006, 04:59:30 PM
Walker Texas Ranger was on the TV when I woke up at 4:45 this morning. My ladyfriend couldn't figure out what the hell I was laughing at.
:-D
http://wowtwonewraces.ytmnd.com/
Now it is getting out of hand...
:-D
Norris, Undertaker, Yokazuna Wrestling (http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1654325/)
Quote from: hbionic on January 20, 2006, 10:05:33 PM
I'm actually thinking of buying the 'What would chuck do' shirt. This whole chuck norris thing is hilarious.
Conan o'brien does a good job with that chuck norris level as well.
Yeah Conan started the fad years ago. He shows one clip with the little kid from the Sixth Sense that is the best of them all. It might even be in this thread somewhere, I don't know.
Chuck vs Hitler (http://chuckisperfect.ytmnd.com/)
Today Chuck turned 66 in human years. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter how old Chuck Norris is, because he
is the grand scheme of things. In honor of that, here are a few more Rules of Chuck.
QuoteA blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
QuoteChuck Norris can speak braille.
QuoteChuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
QuoteLeading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the farg he wants.
Even More Norris Facts
(http://www.4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=all)