A man walks into the bar and orders three double-shots of vodka. The bartender asks, "that's a lot of liquor, what's the problem?"
The man replies, "I just found out my younger brother was gay."
The next day, he comes back and orders the same thing. The bartender asks, "What's wrong now?"
The man says, "I just found out that my older brother is gay."
The next day, he comes in again, and orders the same thing.
The bartender asks, "Man, isn't there anyone in your family that likes women?"
He replies, "yeah, my wife."
Q: What are the two biggest lies in Poland?
A: "The check is in your mouth" and "I won't come in the mail."
Three guys are discussing women. "I like to watch a woman's tits best," the first guy says.
The second says, "I like to look at a woman's ass." He asks the third guy, "What about you?"
"Me? I perfer to see the top of her head."
Q: Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
A: Who cares?
Q: How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A: Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore screws everyone, a bitch screws everyone except you.
Q: What do lobster thermidor and oral sex have in common?
A: You can't get either of them at home.
Why Beer is better than retards
Beer doesn't drool.
Beer stains wash out easier than drool.
You don't have to limit yourself to bisyllabic words in discourse with beer.
Beer doesn't demand to watch cartoons.
Beer won't ask loud, embarressing questions in public.
Beer doesn't have to be sterilized.
What do the special olympics and an internet flame war have in common?
- Even if you win, you're still retarded!
What's better than winning a Gold medal at the special olympics?
- Not being a retard!
A guy comes home from a hard day at work and finds his girlfriend standing on the front porch with her bags packed.
As he walks up she says, "I'm leaving you."
"Now what did I do?" he asks.
"Well, I just found out you're a pedophile."
"A pedophile, huh. That's a big word for a twelve year old girl."
ZERO Comments??
Ignore User
I like beer more than retards too.
Oh SUF, I could never stay mad at you. Stab Stab Stab.
Quote from: stillupfront on October 26, 2005, 06:15:28 PM
A man walks into the bar and orders three double-shots of vodka. The bartender asks, "that's a lot of liquor, what's the problem?"
The man replies, "I just found out my younger brother was gay."
The next day, he comes back and orders the same thing. The bartender asks, "What's wrong now?"
The man says, "I just found out that my older brother is gay."
The next day, he comes in again, and orders the same thing.
The bartender asks, "Man, isn't there anyone in your family that likes women?"
He replies, "yeah, my wife."
Q: What are the two biggest lies in Poland?
A: "The check is in your mouth" and "I won't come in the mail."
Three guys are discussing women. "I like to watch a woman's tits best," the first guy says.
The second says, "I like to look at a woman's ass." He asks the third guy, "What about you?"
"Me? I perfer to see the top of her head."
Q: Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
A: Who cares?
Q: How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A: Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore screws everyone, a bitch screws everyone except you.
Q: What do lobster thermidor and oral sex have in common?
A: You can't get either of them at home.
Why Beer is better than retards
Beer doesn't drool.
Beer stains wash out easier than drool.
You don't have to limit yourself to bisyllabic words in discourse with beer.
Beer doesn't demand to watch cartoons.
Beer won't ask loud, embarressing questions in public.
Beer doesn't have to be sterilized.
What do the special olympics and an internet flame war have in common?
- Even if you win, you're still retarded!
What's better than winning a Gold medal at the special olympics?
- Not being a retard!
A guy comes home from a hard day at work and finds his girlfriend standing on the front porch with her bags packed.
As he walks up she says, "I'm leaving you."
"Now what did I do?" he asks.
"Well, I just found out you're a pedophile."
"A pedophile, huh. That's a big word for a twelve year old girl."
The ones in bold are okay. The rest are merit for a kick to the scrotum where I come from.
Quote from: PhillyPhaninDC on October 28, 2005, 11:37:35 AM
Quote from: stillupfront on October 26, 2005, 06:15:28 PM
A man walks into the bar and orders three double-shots of vodka. The bartender asks, "that's a lot of liquor, what's the problem?"
The man replies, "I just found out my younger brother was gay."
The next day, he comes back and orders the same thing. The bartender asks, "What's wrong now?"
The man says, "I just found out that my older brother is gay."
The next day, he comes in again, and orders the same thing.
The bartender asks, "Man, isn't there anyone in your family that likes women?"
He replies, "yeah, my wife."
Q: What are the two biggest lies in Poland?
A: "The check is in your mouth" and "I won't come in the mail."
Three guys are discussing women. "I like to watch a woman's tits best," the first guy says.
The second says, "I like to look at a woman's ass." He asks the third guy, "What about you?"
"Me? I perfer to see the top of her head."
Q: Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?
A: Who cares?
Q: How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A: Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore screws everyone, a bitch screws everyone except you.
Q: What do lobster thermidor and oral sex have in common?
A: You can't get either of them at home.
Why Beer is better than retards
Beer doesn't drool.
Beer stains wash out easier than drool.
You don't have to limit yourself to bisyllabic words in discourse with beer.
Beer doesn't demand to watch cartoons.
Beer won't ask loud, embarressing questions in public.
Beer doesn't have to be sterilized.
What do the special olympics and an internet flame war have in common?
- Even if you win, you're still retarded!
What's better than winning a Gold medal at the special olympics?
- Not being a retard!
A guy comes home from a hard day at work and finds his girlfriend standing on the front porch with her bags packed.
As he walks up she says, "I'm leaving you."
"Now what did I do?" he asks.
"Well, I just found out you're a pedophile."
"A pedophile, huh. That's a big word for a twelve year old girl."
The ones in bold are okay. The rest are merit for a kick to the scrotum where I come from.
Poland?
Keep in mind that I had to resubmit the list. Hoydaboy GF deleted some extremely tasteless material.
You're lucky I let you do this at all. Quit yer bitchin.
Quote from: stillupfront on October 28, 2005, 11:43:10 AM
Keep in mind that I had to resubmit the list. Hoydaboy GF deleted some extremely tasteless material.
Like this?
Q: Why is anal sex better than regular sex?
A: Because it's more degrading for women
What's the best part about sleeping with forty-eight year olds?
There are forty of them.
Hardy har har har.
What's the best part about sleeping with forty-eight year olds?
There are forty of them
and whats the hardest part about having sex with an eight year old?
getting the blood out of the clown suit
whats black and white and comes in little cans....
michael jackson
Why are pedophilia jokes okay, but negro jokes get you in trouble?
Did you just say 'negro'?
Quote from: stillupfront on October 28, 2005, 03:02:41 PM
Why are pedophilia jokes okay, but negro jokes get you in trouble?
There's something funny about Child-Rape. :-D
Escpecially if it's upfront's child.
Did you just say 'negro'?
lolol
What type of people are lower than Pedophiles?
People who make jokes about it.
you wanna go double or nothing on that skins bet???
Double or nothing already? Shore, what the hell.
Or how about this? Twenty everytime the Skins play the Eagles. I have the same bet with three other skinlovers. Been cleaning up the last few years.
ill go twenty if you want...but on our original bet
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
DA DING!
Are you sure?? I don't want to cut into your cheesesteak and beer money. I almost can't believe it! Well........I guess I can being as the odds have steadily risen in your favor since the original bet was made. But, oh well, at least now it will be more than the postage.
Quote from: PhillyPhaninDC on October 28, 2005, 04:02:24 PM
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
DA DING!
Oh please.........I was trying to turn this sick ass shtein into a respectable gambling thread.
Are you sure?? I don't want to cut into your cheesesteak and beer money. I almost can't believe it! Well........I guess I can being as the odds have steadily risen in your favor since the original bet was made. But, oh well, at least now it will be more than the postage.
its so on
Quote from: ice grillin you on October 28, 2005, 04:11:13 PM
Are you sure?? I don't want to cut into your cheesesteak and beer money. I almost can't believe it! Well........I guess I can being as the odds have steadily risen in your favor since the original bet was made. But, oh well, at least now it will be more than the postage.
its so on
........and you soooo don't know how to use the quote button.
You want Michael Jackson jokes? or have we already been down that road before?
There is no road untraveled by this bunch. You might add a dirty rest stop or two, but thats it.
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in her wheelchair.
Quote from: rjs246 on October 28, 2005, 03:03:34 PM
Did you just say 'negro'?
Yes, that means "black" en espanol.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson had sex with little boys.
******
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?
They both come on top of crackers.
*******
What do Michael Jackson and J.C. Penney's have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
*******
What did the Sunbathing Mother say to Michael Jackson on the Beach?
Hey, get out of my Son!
*******
How do they separate the men from the boys at the Neverland Ranch?
With crowbars.
*******
Q. Why was Michael so afraid of going to jail?
A. He couldn't stand to leave any of his guests behind.
*******
What time is bedtime at Neverland?
When the big hand is on the little one.
*******
What does MJ and tuna have in common?
They both come in little cans.
*******
What does Michael Jackson have in common with McDonalds?
They both put 40 year old meat between 10 year old buns.
*******
How do you know when Michael Jackson has a hot date?
There is a tricycle in his driveway.
*******
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
Acne won't come on a boy's face until he's thirteen.
*******
- old jokes...I know.
Quote from: pinoyboy2pt0 on October 29, 2005, 09:22:06 PM
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson had sex with little boys.
HAHAHAHAHAHA I love that joke.