Marcus Smith, OLB, Philadelphia Eagle

Started by PhillyPhreak54, May 08, 2014, 11:15:25 PM

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Don Ho

"Well where does Jack Lord live, or Don Ho?  That's got to be a nice neighborhood"  Jack Singer(Nicholas Cage) in Honeymoon in Vegas.

QB Eagles

I'll miss seeing him on screen for half a second, standing on the field doing nothing near the end of blowout games. It was like seeing a shooting star blazing across my TV, not knowing when or if I would ever see it again.

Don Ho

Buddy of mine is huge Seahawks fan and he just texted me "Marcus Smith, thoughts?"  I'm trying to find an emoji of a pile of horse shtein.
"Well where does Jack Lord live, or Don Ho?  That's got to be a nice neighborhood"  Jack Singer(Nicholas Cage) in Honeymoon in Vegas.

Don Ho

Quote from: QB Eagles on July 28, 2017, 04:25:58 PM
I'll miss seeing him on screen for half a second, standing on the field doing nothing near the end of blowout games. It was like seeing a shooting star blazing across my TV, not knowing when or if I would ever see it again.

Likewise, when things on the board would calm down as the games went on, we'd get the occasional "OMG!  A Marcus Smith sighting!"  It was like the Loch Ness Monster, Big Foot, Yeti, Elvis.
"Well where does Jack Lord live, or Don Ho?  That's got to be a nice neighborhood"  Jack Singer(Nicholas Cage) in Honeymoon in Vegas.

Diomedes

"Who?" is probably the most concise appropriate reply.
There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists." - Yosemite Park Ranger

Rome

#200
One of my best friends got married on the day job Harris got drafted.  We were watching the draft in the hotel bar during the reception and I remember thinking the only worse decision made that day was my buddy marrying the girl he hooked up with. 

Ironically enough they're still together.  Lol. 

Eagaholic

Now that they have Marcus Smith, I'm very ascared of Seattle's defense. He knows all of Jason Peters moves.

hbionic

Quote from: Rome on July 28, 2017, 07:44:43 PM
One of my best friends got married on the day job Harris got drafted.  We were watching the draft in the hotel bar during the reception and I remember thinking the only worse decision made that day was my buddy marrying the girl he hooked up with. 

Ironically enough they're still together.  Lol.

Sounds like he's taking one for the team. If he leaves his wife and marries again, he risks the Eagles drafting another Jon Harris.

Thank your friend on our behalf.
I said watch the game and you will see my spirit manifest.-ILLEAGLE 02/04/05


ice grillin you

Marcus Smith used to sit on the balcony overlooking the Delaware River at his Penn's Landing apartment, gazing at water to try to soothe a mind that was never at peace. He lacked an appetite. He barely slept. He tried to live up to being the Eagles' 2014 first-round pick, pressure that only exacerbated undiagnosed depression and anxiety that had festered since childhood.

When the Eagles cut Smith in 2017 after three seasons, he signed with Seattle and started to grow into himself as a player. But dark, suppressed feelings remained in the summer of 2018. He would drive to the Seahawks' practice facility past a rocky slope off a shoulder on the road, and on Aug. 18 of that year, Smith decided that was where he would kill himself.

Smith documented that morning in an October essay on The Players' Tribune titled "I'm Still Here," explaining he was on the top of the hill when he got a phone call from his wife, who was seven months pregnant with their child. He tried rushing her off the phone before his mother-in-law called. He confided in her while she stayed on the line, and he backed the car away. He drove to work and sought help. The Seahawks connected him with a therapist. They released Smith to allow him to finally deal with issues he had avoided — and discover more about what was happening beneath the surface during his time with the Eagles and for much of his career.

"It was the same thing going on with me every year and I somehow still stomached to play," Smith said. "I didn't play at my very best. We all know that. ... I still had things that I hadn't addressed, which was my anxiety, my depression and (my mental health). I still didn't address those things."

On Monday night, two of Smith's former teams will be playing. On Wednesday morning, Smith's new children's book will be released — "Bath Time with Rai," which he wrote to provide positive representations of Black fatherhood. This is part of Smith's next act. He's 28, and if he were playing, he could be in the prime of a football career. Yet he doesn't wistfully long for the field. Smith is where he wants to be.

"Helping guys with their mental health issues, really starting to become a life coach and be an author, that's what my focus became," he said.

In Philadelphia, Smith is remembered as a failed first-round pick. He had four sacks in three seasons and never started a game. When general manager Howie Roseman regained power in the organization after a year away from football decisions, one of the first questions he fielded from reporters was about who bore responsibility for selecting Smith in the first round. Smith knows his Eagles tenure fell short of expectations. He was learning a new position in Year 1, he was slowed by injuries in Year 2, he adjusted to a new coaching staff in Year 3. Those obstacles were visible for all to see. It's what couldn't be seen that had more of an effect.

Smith is an example of the human side of pro football players that cannot be gleaned by watching games on Sundays or googling statistics. Should a player be understood by the jersey he wears or the person underneath the jersey?

"We can't continue to dehumanize football players because of what we do on the field," Smith said. "We're also human, too, so I want people to look at me as a human."

Smith's status as a first-round pick meant there was always a spotlight on his performance. If the Eagles had drafted Smith in the third round, his reputation might be different. But Smith pointed out the draft status only contributed to a problem that already existed — it wasn't the cause.

"That had to be addressed at some point," Smith said. "The first round added extra to what I was already dealing with. I had baggage coming into it, so I don't necessarily think that it would change regardless of what round I would have went (in). But I knew that it was more at stake, and I knew that it was at a higher level that I had to perform."

Smith said "nobody really had a sense of what was going on" when he was in Philadelphia because he kept it hidden. He didn't need to be truthful on the team's sleeping surveys: Why would he want the coaches to know he was awake most of the night by himself? He was barely eating, but he could drink water to add weight. He speculated some of his injuries stemmed from a lack of nutrition. The only person he confided in was Brandon Graham.

"But BG, we really didn't get into the weeds of it until later on, so it really wasn't as visible," Smith said. "I mean, I was out there playing with nothing. ... It was just a whole thing of me not being able to do what I need to do. I felt like a vegetable."

Smith said Graham was especially helpful in talking through the pressure that accompanied high draft status. Graham, whom the Eagles drafted at No. 13 in 2010, endured similar scrutiny early in his career.

"It just sucks. Sometimes you don't get the success right away that you work so hard to get," Graham said. "But I know Marcus has confided in me when he was here about keeping his mind clear, all the stuff first-rounders usually go through, especially if you don't get success early on."

Still, Smith said he went only so far. There were still boundaries Smith wouldn't cross because "men, we really don't talk about our mental issues; that's not something that everyone's just gonna put on the table and talk about, because I didn't know how my brother would look at me."

He was afraid of being viewed as weak. He didn't want it to appear like he was making excuses for his lack of production.

"I wanted to be everything that people said I wasn't," Smith said. "I wanted to do everything to prove people wrong. But ultimately, what I started to figure out was that it was about proving myself right rather than proving people wrong."

However, Smith didn't come to that realization until after he left the Eagles. It took hitting rock bottom for him to seek help. He said the person he was in Philadelphia was different from who he is now — his body had been weakened by the effects of his anxiety, his mind was occupied with unresolved issues. He fondly remembers the relationships he created, but he'd end each day accompanied by only his own thoughts. He now realizes he was "slowly dying within myself."

Smith had 2.5 sacks during the 2017 season with the Seahawks before he reached his breaking point the following summer. When he told the athletic trainers what had happened in his car, they immediately took him to Seahawks coach Pete Carroll. With tears streaming down his face, Smith told Carroll he couldn't play football and felt hopeless. Carroll told Smith football didn't matter at the moment — what mattered was Smith getting healthy and being present for his family.

Smith took a few months away from football. He finally met with a therapist — he still seeks therapy at least once per month — and he discovered the joy and balance that had been missing. He witnessed the birth of his daughter. He found new meaning in life.

Smith sent his agent a message and said he wanted to try football again. He signed with Washington and played two games at the end of the 2018 season. Washington cut him the following summer and he hasn't been in the NFL since.

"I know that he was a great kid in a program we liked when we had him and all that, and we wish him the best, but I'm thrilled to hear that he's continuing to give back and creating stuff to help him, one, and help people around him with his experiences," Carroll said this week when asked about Smith.

Smith is in the process of getting his life coaching certification. He plans to advise football players, among others. He'll achieve his goal of becoming an author next week when his book, a story meant to show how fathers can spend time with their children, is released. He wants to be a speaker and advocate for mental health issues.

"I love that he's able to talk about it, and that's the first step to getting it out," Graham said. "And accepting that a lot of guys go through it and not try to hide it and be too tough. That's what I can take my hat off for. Because a lot of guys on this team, me included, we all have our days, but some people stay there, some people get it out. Everybody deals with it different. But I'm happy he's gaining awareness and putting it out there for other people to start accepting."

Although Smith is among a number of athletes or former athletes to open up about mental health, he still doesn't think his career would have been different had he entered the NFL today. Smith said there remains a stigma that must erode, a false machismo about not showing weaknesses or a narrow sense of what constitutes mental toughness.

He added every player who walks into a locker room has some type of baggage — maybe it has to do with a family member or a spouse, maybe the player is grieving or yearning for a father figure. And those complexities must be understood.

"I'm not sure if my career would be different because I don't necessarily think people would give me the fortitude to say what was wrong with me because there's still a stigma behind it," Smith said. "I think that it was even more so (viewed like) I was making excuses. Even if I came in right now."

Smith has already heard from NFL players seeking his perspective. He wants players to know "it's OK to seek therapy" and that strengthening their mental health will make them even more valuable to their organization. Holding something in won't make it go away.

Smith will watch Monday's game featuring former teammates on both sides of the field. He won't be playing in it. He doesn't want to play in it. But he's alive to see it, and that's a message he can share.

"That's why I'm doing this work," Smith said. "I want to open up that lane."
i can take a phrase thats rarely heard...flip it....now its a daily word

igy gettin it done like warrick

im the board pharmacist....always one step above yous

SD

That's a great story and even beyond football BG is a legend.

PhillyPhreak54

Great read.

Good for Smith to get some help and to turn his life around.

BG is a great dude. And I think Pete Carroll is too. He seems like he's a coach who can see beyond football.

Rome

I miss Sunny.  As for Smith, good for him for not killing himself.